Monthly Archives: March 2010

BernThis! An Interview With Jessica Bern

When I became a mom, I was forced to come to a harsh realization: just because you’ve had a child (as I have) does not mean we can automatically be friends. I’ve had a hard time finding mom friends that I connected with.

Similar to my “real life” experience, I’ve also had a hard time finding mom blogs that I like. When I do find one, I latch onto it like a nursing babe.

This is how I feel about Jessica Bern’s blog, Bernthis.

I love this woman. Guess where she’s from? One of my favorite countries: Canada!

She created the “Bernthis web series” which are hilarious anecdotes from her life. One of my favorites is called “Born Stupid.” It’s about the fact that she is the youngest sibling in her family and the dumbest. She became an actress, while her sister became a pediatric gastroenterologist.

Ms. Bern agreed to answer a few questions for us about her life and blog. I’ll let Jessica reveal the rest! Here’s what she had to say:

1. Jessica, you’re funny. Do you think being a younger sibling had anything to do with the fact that you’re hilarious?

My place in the birth order only solidified that I was bound to be the dumbest in my family, according to an article in Time magazine. My webisode, “Born Stupid” was based on this premise and sadly it seems to be true. My sister is a pediatric gastroentorologist (I’ve now tried to spell that three times and I still haven’t gotten it right). My middle sister has a masters in public health from John’s Hopkins and then there is me, the blogger. Can you hear my parent’s crying right now? I can.

2. What inspired you to create the “Bernthis Web Series?” Tell us about it?

The web series came about because I’d written these essays about my divorce and someone suggested turning them into videos. At that time, my career in advertising had cooled quite a bit as it seems, an angry, bitter about to be divorcee wasn’t very “hot” at the time and I figured why not, so I hired an amazing director/editor and off we went.

3. Describe Phoebe, your daughter, in three words, what would they be and why?

Phoebe in three words: (is this a family friendly site?) kidding. actually, I’m not. No, really, I am…a liar, that is…..okay, sorry, I got off track there. Phoebe in three words? Outgoing, energetic, Gives up too easily. How many is that? 6? okay, any chance you could squish the last four together into one word? Yeah, okay, hmmm, three words: Outgoing, energetic, empathetic.

4. If you were forced to teach children, what grade would you teach and why?

4. Forced, would be the correct word, as technically, I’m not really a kid person. I love mine but chances are yours will annoy me, especially if I’m trying to talk to their mother and they start whining over stupid things like how they haven’t been fed in three days or they’re not feeling well, even though they haven’t puked in well over an hour. You know, stuff like that. However, if I had to pick a grade I would say I would choose fifth or sixth grade. At that stage they still have and iota of respect authority and you can have the greatest impact on them. By age 12, the hormones kick in and well, God help us all.

5. Do you love Canada?

I love Canada. I was Canadian until 2000. I would love it a lot more if the draft was reinstated, that I can say for sure. I love the people there. I do. Especially now that my uncie is gone. He was a total asshole to my dad and ever since he kicked it the nice factor in Montreal alone has grown exponentially.

6. Why do you hate cottage cheese?

I don’t hate cottage cheese. Cottage cheese if you can hear me, I mean that. I just don’t have the desire to eat four pounds of it a day like I did when I first found the lactose free version.

7. You’re Jewish, right?

I am Jewish, yes. I have great admiration for all my people have been through although I will never get over the fact that if they’d only had a few more minutes, I wouldn’t have to give up pasta for 8 days straight and we wouldn’t have to deal with all this “Kosher for Passover, warning, it’s tasteless” stuff at all.

8. Where in Canada are you from?

I was born in Toronto although with my mouth you’d start to wonder if Toronto was a small island located in the middle of Brooklyn.

9. Did you move from Canada to southern cali in 2000?

I came to the US when I was almost two years old. It was hard. I was really close with a lot of 16 month olds I met in this one playgroup. Great bunch of folks. I think what I miss most about that is our game night. We played, “puke on the most expensive thing in your house.” It was hilarious although our parents never seemed to find the “funny” in it.

10. What astrological sign are you?

I’m a Cancer. I had a one out of twelve shot that I would be born under a sign that would remind people of the loss of a loved one every time I said it and yay me, I “won”. Vegas, here I come. I’m thinking of taking the title to my home and putting it on “red.”

And now, for your viewing pleasure, here is “Born Stupid” from the Bernthis web series!

To read Jessica’s blog or watch more of the Bernthis web series, click on the burnt toast below!

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Contrary to Popular Belief, There Are No Sheep in The Backyard

Ari believes that there are sheep in my parent’s backyard. No matter what I told him, he insisted that there were sheep out there. He sometimes refers to sheep as “Baas” FYI. After we ended that rumor (about the sheep) he went on to explain that there were cows in the backyard as well. Finally we agreed that there were trees out there and that was the end of it.

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Chocolate Snaps: An Old Friend From the 80′s.

Last night I had a dream about these cat cookies I used to eat when I was a kid. They were in a red box as small as a box of animal crackers. I realized what I had to do, I had to find them! So I turned to my friend, Google, who rarely lets me down. And low and behold, I found my childhood favorite!


Do you remember these?

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Saturday Morning Peek-a-Blanket

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Vegan Cookie Giveaway at Stumptown Crunch!

Remember those amazing vegan ginger cookies I told you about? The ones my friend and fellow mama blogger Amanda made?

If you don’t recall, I’ll remind you. These would be the cookies I’m referring to:


Amanda is hosting a vegan cookie giveaway on her blog! And get this? There are several varieties of cookies to choose from! She recently got her hands on a fantastic vegan cookbook and she wants the chance to try out these cookie recipes on you!

Go on! Post a comment on her blog with two varieties of cookie that you’d like to try! Maybe you’ll win yourself some good eats. Trust me, her cookies are like crack! You can’t have just one.

Click on the cookies below to enter the “Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar GIVEAWAY“:

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Thought of The Day: Coffee = Oxygen Mask

You know what they tell you on an airplane?

“Put your oxygen mask on yourself, before assisting others?”

Well, this is how I feel about my morning cup of coffee. It is my oxygen mask. Before that cup, I am useless to others.

There is nothing like that morning cup of coffee!

And the first sip…oh yeah!


After my morning essential elixir, I feel ready to face the day!

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What is Mastocytisis? An Interview With Tara Goonan

My friend Tara inspired me to become a mother. She is just as anxious and crazy as I am, but she is also a hilariously funny, intelligent and wonderful woman. She had a baby, Liam, and made motherhood look possible to a neurotic character like me.


We became friends when we worked together as Vocational Counselors in a residential drug treatment center.

When Liam was 5 months old, I became pregnant with Ari.

Liam, who is now 2 1/2 years old, was diagnosed with mastocytisis. It is a rare condition, and can be quite severe in some cases.

Tara talks about her experience with Liam, and the road to diagnosis.

1. What is mastocytisis?

Mastocytosis, or in Liam’s case cutaneous mastocytosis, is a rare condition. Some medical persons refer to it as an “orphan disease” due to the small number of the population effected by it. It effects “mast cells”, which are also part of our immune cells and help us fight infection. It is therefore considered a hematologic illness.

Most mast cells are found in the skin, digestive system and airway linings.

When these cells are aggravated or triggered, they release histamine into the body. Allergy reducers such as Claritin or Zyrtec can be referred to as “histamine blockers”, and we are talking about one in the same fluid. This fluid, or substance, can irritate the airways, digestive system, and skin. When young children are diagnosed with this condition, it appears on their skin in the form of painful blisters. (i.e the cutaneous part).

2. When did you suspect that something was “wrong” with Liam? What were his symptoms?

Liam was born with beautiful, porcelain white skin and dark red hair. As he progressed in age (at around 7 or 8 months) I began noticing what looked like dry patches of skin on his back. I figured due to the sensitivity of his fair skin, he needed more lotion, less baths (every other day), and fragrance free products. The marks continued to grow, and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. I started with the local pediatrician, who kept reinforcing the whole “eczema” idea, although these marks looked fixed, and almost as if they were part of his skin. Not like a rash. It wasn’t until his scalp was filled with oozing blisters, which were painful to the touch, that I knew something else had to be done. This was no cradle cap. He was a year of age when I saw his first dermatologist, who was unfortunately just as baffled as the pediatrician.

3. How did you arrive at the diagnosis of mastocytisis?

Thankfully, my mother, who has been my saving grace over these last few years, was able to find the diagnosis herself. She is a retired RN, who dealt with many pediatric cases during her career. After extensive research, she was the one directing the dermatologist. A skin biopsy was ordered, and we were able to pin point the diagnosis.

4. When you found out Liam had mastocytisis, how did you feel?

I guess I was concerned at first that I had done something wrong for my baby to have this disease, but in every medical article, I could find no direct cause linked to such a diagnosis. Anyone doing research will find that there is really not that much information out there, and parents of children effected by this illness will understand that awareness is key. This condition needs to be brought to light and discussed more within our pediatric and dermatological medical communities. I think my next feeling was the fear that people would not understand the disease and ostracize my son if he happened to have a outbreak at school or in public. I can say right now that I have been one of the luckier ones because his beautiful face remains unaffected; but we all know how judgmental society is, and I want to arm him with the tools to never have to feel bad about how he looks.

5. What does Liam need to do to lead a healthy lifestyle?

We monitor his condition through proper diet (avoiding what we have found to be trigger foods- in Liam’s case pork, spinach, and larger amounts of chocolate. There is some current suspicion as well with acidic foods (particularly citrus) which I am still investigating with him through trial and error) He takes antihistamines daily, and we have found some great home based solutions (because steroidal creams are always recommended by doctors) to maintain his skin. There are some good resources out there such as the mastocytosis society, as well as mastokids.org which provide helpful hints.

6. How do you help Liam deal with his diagnosis?

I am about awareness to make sure that Liam’s community, whether it be school, family or friends are aware of his condition and the fact that it is not contagious, nor will it ever be. I try to provide my son with enough love and affection that even if there are people who chose to remain ignorant out there, he will have the strength to not let it affect him.

To learn more about mastocytosis, visit these links below:
Mastocytosis Society
MastoKids

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Draw!

Ari knows what he wants and today he wants me to draw!

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How to Draw a “Choo-Choo”

Have you ever wanted to learn how to draw a “choo-choo?” Well wonder no more! This video will allay any fears about train drawing that you might have. You will end up with a satisfied customer. Watch and learn!

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CDs Are Defunct and I Am Old

I told Ari’s babysitter about the time that I sold my car and I accidentally left a case of 500 CDs in it. They got thrown out in the process. Her response:

“Oh no! And that’s when CDs were popular!”

Yet another reminder that I am getting older.

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