Monthly Archives: January 2011

Sleep is An Urban Legend

When I had Ari, two and a half ago years ago, I told myself I was never going to sleep again. What did I know? I was a new parent, I’d heard babies didn’t let you sleep because they constantly needed something or other, to be changed, held, fed and all that jazz.

I didn’t like being deprived of sleep, but I knew that was part of the deal. Two and a half years later here is my reward for not sleeping:

Unfortunately, Ari has had some major sleep issues over the past six months. Read more about his insomnia here.

Those sleep issues have just gotten a whole lot worse because of this new arrival:

The lady pictured above, Ari’s sister Samara (1 week old), fascinates him to no end. Now he doesn’t want to sleep because he’s afraid to miss out on helping with the baby. When Samara cries Ari says cute things like “Don’t worry, Ari’s here!”

I’m thrilled that Ari wants to be actively involved in his little sister’s life, but frustrated by his lack of sleep.


Here’s where you come in, dear readers:

What I know:
-Newborns, inherently, have a lack of routine. They may sleep two hours or four hours, depending on their mood.
-Ari needs a sleep routine desperately.
-How do I get Ari on a sleep schedule while caring for a newborn?

Please help a mama out!

Exciting Event of the Day


How she feels about it:

Behavioral Interpretation Please!

I was checking my email, Samara was napping and Ari was frolicking about playing with his toys. All of a sudden, he zooms by me and I notice that he is completely naked and laughing his head off.

“Where is your diaper?” - Me
“I don’t know!” -Ari - Cackles uncontrollably
“Did you take it off?” -Me
“Yeah!” -Ari

He proceeds to run naked throughout the house and refuses to wear a diaper or underwear. I ask him if he wants to use the potty and he confidently spouts “No please!”

“Mommy!” -Ari
“Yes?” - Me
“I went poopie.” -Ari
“Where did you poop?” - Me
“Right there!” Ari - points to the hallway

At this point I check the hallway prepared for the worst. There is a puddle of pee in the hallway. I clean it up.

He declines a diaper for the next hour. Eventually, Wil cajoles him into wearing Toy Story pull ups.

What does it all mean?

Ari-isms About Samara

Here are some funny/cute things Ari has said about Samara so far. I have no brain right now, and I’m sure in a year or two I’ll forget all of this, so why not record it now!

1. “Samara’s gotta eat you, Mommy!” At first I thought Ari was upset about Samara nursing, but it turns out that she has GOT to “eat me” according to my observant son.

2. “I want Samara!” Whenever Samara leaves the room to be changed or take a nap, Ari gets emotional (sad or angry) and wants to be with her. It’s very cute.

3. “It’s okay Samara, Ari’s here!” He proclaims as he rubs her head.

4. “Samara’s crying. HE want Grandma!” Despite the improper pronoun use (he calls Samara “he” all the time) Ari believes that Grandma needs to hold Samara to comfort her.

I’m sure there will be more Ari-isms to come!

Ari and Samara Go to The Library




At Least Some People Are Getting Sleep Around Here

One Minute At a Time

After I had Samara, and was recovering in the hospital, I started to freak out. How could I love two kids? How could I handle both their needs at the same time. Thoughts were racing through my brain at an uncontrollable pace. My anxiety was compounded by the fact that I wasn’t yet producing breast milk, only colostrum, and she was feeding frequently and getting frustrated shortly after latching on. She would eat for a few seconds and then scream. I felt like a failure. I had nursed Ari for a year, what was going on with this baby?

At some point, my OB’s partner in her practice came to visit me. I told him about my nursing frustration, he said:

“Just remember, her stomach is the size of a grape right now, she’s not going to starve.” I started to use this mantra when I got upset about nursing: size of a grape, size of a grape.

I was extremely emotional about Ari. I was afraid if I loved this new baby, Ari would somehow disappear or not love me anymore. I was holding him and crying. Remember much of this was based on the fact that my hormones were throwing a massive keg party in my body.

My brother came to visit. I made everyone who was in the room leave so I could talk to him. I cried, I confessed that I didn’t think I could do it. I was absolutely terrified to have two kids. I wanted to run away. I felt horribly guilty for having those feelings. I was afraid I’d fail at nursing this time. I was terrified that Ari wouldn’t love me anymore.

He calmed me down. He said it was normal to have those feelings and that all I had to do is take it moment by moment, one minute at at a time. He said it was okay to accept help from my parents. I felt guilty. He told me not to.

When we were getting ready to leave the hospital, my hospital roommate stopped me on the way out the door. I already liked her from eavesdropping on her phone conversations with her kids who were at home:
“No Kool Aid until you finish your dinner! I heard you were chewing gum, you know if I were there you wouldn’t being doing that!”
She said to me:
“I just want let you know, I overheard what you were saying before, and I felt the same way when my second child was born. You’re not alone. Just remember to take time for yourself, even if it’s just to go for a short walk. And you know what helped me the most? Keeping a journal. Write your feelings down even if they feel crazy. Let it out, otherwise you’ll feel like you’re going to explode.”

When we arrived home from the hospital, my mom watched Samara at night and let me sleep until she needed to nurse. She did this for two nights. My body was so sleep deprived from being in early labor for a week, that I needed as much rest as possible to feel normal again.

I’m just starting to feel better. I’m taking my roommate’s advice. I’m writing it down. I’m taking my brother’s advice, one minute at a time.

Wordless Wednesday: Big Brother, Little Sister


Unintentional Natural Childbirth

On Saturday morning, I knew I’d had enough. I’d been having contractions all week long that led to nowhere. I’d been in constant pain, and sometimes for 6-8 hours at a time. So I called my midwife. I told her I couldn’t take it anymore. She said she totally understood, and that she fully supported my decision. I decided to schedule a labor induction with my old OB, the one that delivered Ari.

I emailed my OB and told her the situation. She emailed me right back and told me to come to the hospital that day and they would induce me.

I got to the hospital and, as it turned out, I was having contractions that were 5-7 minutes apart for 35 seconds long. But the nurses determined they were due to dehydration, not labor. So they tried to send me home.

“Please, please don’t send me home!” I begged them. “I can’t take it anymore. Please can you induce my labor? I’m miserable. I can’t care for my son properly. I can’t sleep. Please.”
“Sorry, but you’re 38 weeks and 4 days, we can’t induce you until you’re 39 weeks. There are women with four children in your situation,” the nurse said “they just have to deal with it.”
So I scheduled an induction for Tuesday 1/25/11, when I would be exactly 39 weeks.

I got home and tried to go on with the day. But the contractions got worse. I called my OB.
“When the contractions start to get stronger and/or longer call me.” She said confidently.
I sat in my parents apartment with my parents and Wil obsessively timing my contractions.

“Okay, they’re really bad.” I said. “I wanna go to the hospital.”
“No, they’re only 30 seconds,” Wil said. “Let’s wait another hour.
“NO NO NO NO! You don’t understand I need to go to the hospital.” I started to cry.
“Sarah, calm down,” said my dad furthering the testosterone festival in the living room. “You heard what the doctor said, wait until the contractions are longer!”
“IF YOU DON’T TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL I’M GOING ON THE TRAIN!” I screamed.
All at once two grown men tried to physically restrain me like I was a mental patient.
I screamed. I sat down. My water broke.
“My water just broke.” I said, in shock.
“That’s her water! I see it!” Wil shouted.
Wil rushed to throw things in a bag so we could get to the hospital.

Meanwhile, the contractions were unbearable. I was screaming at the top of my lungs.
“SOMEBODY GET ME MY SHOES!!”
We got in the car and Wil ran every red light from Brooklyn to Manhattan until we got to the hospital.

Whenever I had a contraction in the car I screamed:
“I CAN DO THIS!!!!!” Over and over again. Because I needed to tell myself that or I thought I might die.

We got to the hospital, got out of the car (while it was double parked) and all of a sudden I had to pee.
“I HAVE TO PEE! I CAN’T HOLD IT!”
“PEE BABE! LET IT OUT!” Wil yelled reassuringly.
So I peed all over the sidewalk and my snow boots.
There was no parking anywhere. It was the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
Wil begged a nurse who was going into the building to take me upstairs while he quickly parked in a parking lot.

“PLEASE GET MY WIFE UPSTAIRS! HER WATER BROKE!”
I screamed and yelled my way into a wheelchair.
“I’m sorry,” I cried and apologized to the nurse who reassured me it was okay and got us into elevator at warp speed.

We got up to Labor and Delivery and I managed to scream my way into a delivery room. The same nurses and doctor who saw me that morning were there, eyes popping out of their heads.

“PLEASE GET ME AN EPIDURAL!” I begged them.
“We can’t. You’re really dehydrated ma’am. You have to go through this bag of fluids before we can give you the epidural.” One nurse told me.
I cried and screamed. My friend and doula Livvy was there, thank goodness. She massaged my back and held my legs down.
“I HAVE TO PEE!!” I screamed.
“Not in the bed you don’t!” Shouted the nurse.
“I’M INCONTINENT!!” I shouted back.
“Oh okay.” She replied not knowing quite what to say.
I peed again.

They checked me.
“SHE’S 4-5.” They meant centimeters dilated.
Wil still wasn’t there. He was down registering me in the hospital office.
I screamed. I screamed some more. I remembered something my friend Cordy told me:
“Keep your eyes open during contractions. Pick a point on the wall and focus on it.”
I focused on a picture hanging on the wall. I was still in mind numbing pain, but it was better than keeping my eyes closed.
10 minutes later…
“CAN I HAVE THE EPIDURAL? IT HURTS! I’m dizzy…”
“No, dizziness is a side effect of the epidural. Wait until you feel better.” They retorted.
“I’m gonna vomit.” I said.
“Lower the bed!” The nurses shouted. They did.
I rolled on my side.
All of a sudden, I had a sudden surging unbearable pain and I said
“I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO POOP!”
They checked me.
“SHE’S 9!!” I was nine centimeters dilated.
“CAN I HAVE THE EPIDURAL??!!!”
No response.
“I NEED TO PUSH!!”
“WAIT WAIT!! HOLD IT DON’T PUSH!” Said the nurses.
“I CAN’T!!!!!!” I screamed and in one push the baby’s head was out. All at once the nurses and the resident doctor rushed around me. I couldn’t be sure, but it looked as if the resident might faint.
“THE CORD IS AROUND THE BABY’S NECK!! STOP PUSHING!” The resident shouted.
“I CAN’T!” I kept pushing through the contraction and the baby fell out of me. They removed the cord from the baby’s neck and she cried. They wrapped her up. I held her.
“I’m AWESOME!!” I screamed. “I did it!!!!”
Wil still wasn’t there. According to him, he got to the L&D floor (with my best friend Mint) and a doctor said to him:
“CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR WIFE JUST HAD A BABY!”

All of a sudden Wil and Mint rushed into the room. They both had confused faces on as they saw me holding a new baby.
Wil cried. We held her.
We named her Samara.

The Winner of The Little One Books $20 Gift Certificate Giveaway is…

I’d like to thank Little One Books for co-hosting another wonderful giveaway. Check out their site for age-appropriate books, movies and music for kids.

I enlisted the help of my niece, Francesca, again to choose the winner of this giveaway. She used a random number generator to select the winner:

CONGRATULATIONS Flowerchild! You’ve won the Little One Books $20 Gift Certificate GIVEAWAY! Post a comment with your reaction the win!

Thank you to everyone who entered!