Monthly Archives: May 2009

Who Needs Fancy Toys When You Have a Cardboard Box?

I was at the playground today with my friend and fellow mom, Gry. As our children ran loose, I was telling her that I was passing by a toy store the other day and I was tempted to go in, but I didn’t.

First I’ll tell you why I was tempted to go in. I have been substitute teaching a lot lately, and thus have had less time to spend with my son. I thought I could go into the toy store, pick out something shiny and new, come home and say to him “look what mommy got just for you?”

Now I’ll tell you the reasons why I stopped myself.

Reason # 1 - I thought to myself “He has so many toys at home, does he really need more?”
Reason# 2 - I remembered past incidents where I had purchased a toy for him and he would ignore the actual toy and play with the box.
Reason # 3- I tried to figure out why I had this sudden urge to buy a shiny new toy for my son since he has so many at home. I realized that I felt guilty for not being around as much and reasoned that if I got him a new toy this would make up for not being present in his life as much. When I realized that this was my motivation, I knew that I could not go through with it.

In the end I chose to walk by the toy store and come home empty handed.

But I would like to focus on Reason # 2 for a a moment. The truth is, babies are very easily entertained, contrary to popular belief. Depending on the age of your child, you have the relevant household item that will keep them busy for a while.

Here is a list of common household items that babies love to play with
-Keys - Only standard metal keys will do. They know the difference between fake keys and real ones. You are not fooling anyone with the plastic ones, so don’t even try.
-A cardboard box - They love them. They love to put things in them and take them out again. Or (if they aren’t old enough for that yet) they can just feel the texture of the box.
-
Pots, Pans and Large Plastic and Metal Serving Spoons - These always make for a lot of fun. Can be a bit noisy, but they work.
-
Mirrors- Take your baby into the bathroom or any other place in the house that has a mirror. They love looking at themselves and at you!
-
The Window- Although not a household item per say, it is an instant fix when my son is screaming his head off, I take him up to the window and have him look outside. For the most part, he stops crying. Babies love looking outside.
-Paper- Newspaper, magazines, wrapping paper, or just an old bill you don’t care about. Babies love to play with paper. And it makes fun sounds when you crinkle it.

Anyway, you get the point. You don’t need to go to the toy store when you have ready made entertainment in your own house!

The Park Slope Parents Debacle

I have been a member of the Park Slope Parents Yahoo group since my son was born. I have found the messages posted on their message boards to be useful and helpful for the most part.

Recently I received an email from the administrator of the group stating that they are going to start charging an annual fee of $25 for their group. Now, as someone who has been enjoying the membership to this online forum where parents can gain insights into their children for FREE for over a year, I was devastated.

Furthermore, as a person who makes very little money and is struggling to pay her rent and feed her family, $25 is a lot of money.

So, I wrote PSP an email. It said:

Hi,

I am curious to know what the $25 annual membership cost is meant to cover. What expenses do you have? It is my understanding that starting a yahoo group is free. Perhaps the website is the main expense?

For my part, I cannot afford to pay $25. I am very disappointed that your group has chosen to charge this annual fee.

I have enjoyed your yahoo group as a free resource for parents. I feel that this $25 annual fee will alienate the members who (like myself) have a lower income bracket.

Sincerely,

Sarah Fader

I received the following response:

Do you want to answer this one before we delete her ass

Now, granted, I’m sure that this was not meant to get to me directly, but it was (in my opinion) entirely unprofessional. I was simply trying to gauge what the $25 was meant to cover.

I wrote back the following:

Hmmm… that is a very hostile response. Have a nice day!

The individual replied almost instantly:

Oops … I’m sorry you got this rude message from me… It’s been a long week!
Please fee[sic] the extensive FAQ both on our website at parkslopeparents.com and on the club express homepage.

We’ve offered membership discounts including a free subscription to Time Out NY Kids and the option to volunteer for a free subscription or write in for a hardship subscription if the fee (which works out to 7 cents a day) is too much.

I understand that people are easily offended. I was offended when I received the email stating that the free yahoo group that I enjoyed was asking me for money that I don’t have. So I get why this individual reacted the way that they did. However, it turned me off even further. I suppose I will just let my membership lapse if this is the way that they like to treat their members.

Who is My Child?

As my millionth day as a substitute teacher comes to a close, I realize that there are certain universal truths about children. There will always be the smart ass child who remarks snidely when asked to do anything.

There will be the eager to please child who offers to collect completed worksheets or gives helpful information.

There will be the attention seeking child who behaves badly when ignored.

But the question is: what kind of child will my son be? The truth is, I can see my son’s face in all of these children. I have no way of knowing who he will turn out to be or how he will act in school.

I almost want to fast forward four years so I can find out.

Old School/New School Mom Business Cards

A very wise woman told me that I should get business cards made for my blog. I trust this woman because I have known her since I was seven years old. Thank you for your advice Kyle!

I ordered the business cards on Vista Print. Vista Print falsely advertises that their business cards are “free”. They are not exactly free, but the truth is they might as well be free because they are really cheap. Essentially you have to pay for the shipping costs of the cards.

Vista Print offers design templates that you can input your contact information into. I chose a template that I liked and the cards came to me in about a week and half. So here it is! Let me know what you think! I want honest opinions.

The End of a Nursing Era

After 12 1/2 months I am sad to report that I have stopped nursing my son. I am proud of myself that I was able to successfully nurse him for a little over a year. But now that I am working, it was the most practical thing for me to wean him and start him on organic whole milk.

I was sad when I stopped nursing him. I thought he would be the one going through withdrawal symptoms and sadness. But you want to know something? It was me looking longingly at the Boppy pillow given to us by his Aunt Kimberly.

I missed the bonding associated with nursing my son. He still puts his hand on my breast when I carry him around, taking some sort of ownership of it. But all in all he has been able to function fine without nursing.

I remember how difficult it was to start nursing. I was in the hospital trying desperately to get him to latch on after my 20 hour labor. I was so exhausted that the first two days of his life I ended up reluctantly supplementing with formula. Finally, I went to a breast feeding class, which I thought was ridiculous sounding at the time- I mean how hard could it be? But it saved me a lot of frustration.

The lactation consultant was slightly insane. She was a typical Upper East side looking woman in her mid fifties. Her hair was brown with blond highlights and blow dried in a 1950′s bob-like style. It looked as if it couldn’t be moved no matter how hard you tried. She was wearing dark blue scrubs and pearls. I wanted to laugh out loud when I saw her. But you know what? She was amazing!

I sat in an intimate room in the hospital surrounded by new mothers in stark white hospital gowns. We were all still drowsy and/or drugged up from our labors. The lactation consultant went around the room addressing each mother.

“You! You breasts are pointy! Try this!….You! You breasts are round, do this!…It doesn’t matter if you’re flat chested!! Everyone can breast feed. And don’t let anyone tell you differently!”

I loved this woman.

She came to me and saw that I was having trouble with my son. So she leaned over and said

“Ah! I think I need to use my magic potion on you!” I have to say, I was slightly afraid of what she was referring to, but I was so desperate she could have handed me a crack pipe and said “smoke this!” and I would have been like “Okay! As long as it makes my baby latch on!”

Anyway, she squirted a bottle of formula on my boob, and my son latched on immediately. Normally, being the perfectionist that I am, I would have been like “But…that’s cheating!” But at this point all that mattered was that my son was nursing. I was thrilled.

And you know what? From that day on, I never needed formula again. I will always remember that nutty lactation consultant. She enabled me to have a year old love affair with nursing.

The Unorthodox Mom

My great friend Cordy has just started her very own mom blog; The Unorthodox Mom. She is hysterically funny and outrageous.

She is a self-described “ex-wild child” who has two children: a wacky 16 month old Aquarius and a sweet five month old Capricorn.

So check out The Unorthodox Mom blog. I promise you will laugh your ass off.

My Thoughts on The Jon & Kate Plus Eight “Scandal”

I have been a fan of Jon & Kate Plus Eight since I gave birth to my son. I discovered the show when I was barely sleeping, caring for a newborn and needing emotional support which I received in the form of a television show.

Each day, I would watch Jon and primarily Kate care for their eight children. It gave me hope that I could continue caring for my one child successfully. I liked that Kate fed her kids organic food and that she was a real human being. She is a honest person who doesn’t sugar coat her feelings. She tells it like it is. And I admire that quality.

I also identify with the Gosselins on a cultural level, Jon is half korean, half white and my
boyfriend is half Filipino half white.

The public gives Kate Gosselin a lot of flack for being mean to Jon or for being blunt in general. Personally, I like her. I identify with her outlook on life, her organizational skills are extremely impressive. Plus, wouldn’t you get a little cranky caring for eight children and trying to satifisy all of their needs?

Kate cares for her eight children seemingly with ease. This includes: food preparation, bathing, clothing them and loving them. I think that she is a phenomenal human being. And keep in mind, when the show started The Gosselins had minimal help. Kate had a few trusted people that she met in various situations that she allowed to help her care for her children. Now, she admitedly uses the help of nannies, but can you blame her? Would you be able to care of eight children by yourself?

Recently the Gosselins have been in the news due to allegations that Jon was unfaithful to Kate. When I saw these headlines in the tabloids I was saddened. Why has the media chosen to focus on whether or not Jon Gosselin is cheating on his wife?

What about all the good the Gosselins are doing for and have done for their family? They were given an extraordinary situation: Kate was pregnant with six children at the same time, and they made it work. Granted they put themselves in this situation. They chose to do fertility treatments, but they didn’t ask for sextuplets.

I couldn’t imagine being able to care for six infants at the same time. I would mostly likely have a nervous breakdown. Despite her occasional bouts of crankiness, Kate Gosselin is able to be a great mommy for her eight kids. She is emotionally present and there for her children.

My point is, stop focusing on the negative events surrounding the Gosselins. Let’s acknowledge the fact that they are doing an extraordinary job as parents.

Baby Drama

As parents we would like to think that our children are perfect. But they all have their days. Some days my son gets so cranky and I don’t know what to do with him. I pick him up to comfort him and he arches his back, leans his head back and wails. He has a legitimate concern. Maybe he’s tired, or hungry, or perhaps he’s teething. Sometimes I joke to my boyfriend that he is being…dramatic!

And you know what? He is being dramatic. Or at least it appears that way, because he currently only has one real mode of communication: crying. Sometimes I wish I could burst out crying when things don’t go my way…wait, I do do that. But not to the extent that my son does it.

When he doesn’t get his needs met, my little man lets me know, and in quite a theatrical way. I think the reason I joke about him being so dramatic, is to relieve my own maternal anxiety. Let’s face it, being a mother is a hard job. The hardest job I’ve ever had.

And when my son is wailing his head off, I laugh at his dramatic display to ease the tension within myself. Because I don’t know what he wants. I use trial and error to figure out what could placate him until I get it right. And if I don’t get it right, I ask my mom for what to do.

The truth is babies are inherently dramatic, because they have to let us know when they need something. And that communication cannot be subtle.

Save The Library!

Yesterday, my mom friend and I took our kids to Story Time at the Brooklyn Public Library at Grand Army Plaza.

My favorite librarian was there facilitating the program. She let the kids play for 30 minutes and then she read us three stories. Our kids listened eagerly and attentively. After the program was over the librarian’s friendly smile turned into a solemn look.

“Thank you all for coming today,” she began “I want you to know that the library is facing large budget cuts and currently over 300 jobs are going to be lost including mine. The library hours will be cut drastically. This library will only be open between 1pm - 6pm. Also, programs like these will no longer be available. If you want to stop this from happening, sign our petition at the front desk.”

As soon as I left the Story Time room, I bolted (stroller in tow) to the desk to sign the petition against the library budget cuts. I felt good about signing the petition, but I want to do more.

The library is an incredible free resource for parents and their children. Its a place to take your child to enrich their life. You can take your son or daughter to one of the library’s free Early Childhood programs or just come to the library and hang out. To loose this capability would be devastating.

What can we do? Call 311 and tell the operator that you want the library to stay as it is: a resource for parents and their children. A place where children and adults a like can read or experience wonderful programs that will enrich their lives. Tell the operator that Mayor Bloomberg is making a huge mistake by making these budget cuts.

Save the library!

The Google Phone Camera Was Not Designed For People With Babies

I recently switched cell phone carriers and had the opportunity to pick a new phone. I chose the G1 Google Phone because I use the internet a lot and I had heard great things about the phone. For the most part, the G1 is amazing. It is user-friendly and the internet capabilities are awesome.

The only issue with the phone I have is that frankly, the camera stinks.

As a new mom I take a lot of pictures of my son. But the shutter on the G1 has a massive delay.

Essentially, you click the button to take a picture and then it seems like a million
years later, it captures the image. Now you can imagine how this would be
problematic if you were taking a picture of a baby because babies do not stay still for long periods of time.

Here is an example. I attempted to take a photo of my son typing on a
keyboard with the G1 camera. Take a look at the results:

You get the point. Because the delay is so long, it is virtually impossible to capture a baby doing something funny or cute. Because, as any parent knows, babies move quickly.

So please be advised, if you are thinking about purchasing the G1 and you have a small child, you will not be getting the best photos of your little one on this device.