Monthly Archives: February 2011

I was washing dishes this morning, and the only way I can seem to do household chores is if I’m blasting music at an unreasonably high decibel level. So there I was, deafening my entire family and the neighbors while cleaning the kitchen, when it occurred to me that I’m old.

I haven’t been to a show/concert in forever. Also, the kind of music I really like is pop punk which, if I even could make it out of the house and to a show, is a favorite of people ten or more years younger than me. It would be kind of awkward to be rocking out with kids that I could have potentially substitute taught.

How did I get so old? I mean, I’m not that old, I’m only 31, but I find myself using expressions like:

“I’m really disappointed in you.”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full!” and
“For crying out loud.”

I’ve also developed the inability to operate cutting edge electronic equipment such as the Xbox, Play Station 3, and Blu-ray. Every time Wil plays a movie for Ari on these systems, I have to ask him to turn it on and off because I can’t figure out how to do it myself. This reminds me of the teachers I used to make fun of who were unable to operate a simple VCR in the classroom.

Before I know it, I’ll be going through menopause! It’s insane. I feel like only yesterday I was just entering high school. What happened? I guess I grew up! As a child, I was so terrified of growing up and becoming an adult and all of sudden, it happened! BAM! I have a fiance and two kids. Whoa. I need to take a breath here.

Is anyone else out there mourning their youth?

I’ve been spoiled this past five weeks. Wil has been on paternity leave and I’ve had a lot of help with Samara. During this time, he’s made it possible for me to have time alone with Ari and allowed me to have a full night’s sleep while he stayed up with the baby. In case you’re wondering, I had to pump milk each time in order for these events to be at all possible. Yay nursing!

Needless to say I am terrified.

My friend Cordy (mother of two girls, two and three years old respectively) told me when you have two kids, you’re always inevitably neglecting one of them. When I’ve been alone with my brood, I’ve found this to be absolutely the case. For example, Ari is repeatedly asking for chocolate milk, meanwhile Samara is screaming, demanding to be nursed.

In a couple of days, it’s going to be all me. To all the moms out there with two (or more) kids: how did you survive when your husband/boyfriend/partner went back to work?

Pure unadulterated laziness…

When my friend Katie Grinch came over to meet Samara, she brought us some presents of the literary variety. Ms. Grinch works in publishing, so she has access to some of the newest groundbreaking material. She gave me this:

“Have you heard of it?” She asked eye widened.
“No.” I replied, already intrigued. She went on to say that the book was controversial, because Amy Chua, the author, has some questionable parenting techniques.

Chua has two daughters, Sophia, the eldest and Lulu (Louisa) the youngest. “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” is a memoir about raising her girls “The Chinese way.” Chua is the daughter of two Chinese immigrants and was raised in an extremely strict household. She wanted to raise her girls “the Chinese way” with the same values that she grew up with.

The reason that the book is provocative, is that her parenting, in the eyes of Western society, can be viewed as extreme and borderline verbally abusive.

For example, many times in the book, she uses scare tactics to get her daughters to obey her. Some of these include:

• Threatening not to give her daughter dinner
• Threatening to burn her child’s stuffed animals

There are multiple instances where she insults her daughters by:

• Calling Sophia “garbage” and Lulu a “disgrace”
• Telling Lulu that she is a “terrible daughter” in front of a restaurant full of people
• Rejecting her daughters homemade birthday cards when they were ages seven and four because they didn’t put enough thought into them

She doesn’t allow the girls to have sleepovers, makes them practice their instruments (piano and violin) for five, six hours a day and even pulls her one daughter, Lulu, out of school during recess and gym to have more practice time.

An interesting aspect of the story is that Chua is married to a white Jewish lawyer named Jed Rubenfeld. Jed was raised in a liberal household on the other end of the spectrum from the “Chinese way” of parenting. Jed allows Chua to implement her parenting style with his girls and essentially goes along for the ride.

The “Chinese way” of parenting works well with Chua’s eldest, Sophia, but Lulu (her youngest daughter) rebels against it fiercely. When her mother refuses to allow her a haircut, she locks herself in her room and chops off her hair. She talks back to her mother and ultimately refuses to obey her rules.

Though Chua portrays herself as oppressive, overbearing and relentless with her girls, somehow I got the sense that she truly loves her kids and feels that she is doing what is best for them. Her daughter even wrote a piece for the NY Post praising her mother’s parenting. She appears to be emotionally stable and is on her way to an Ivy league school.

Chua criticizes Western parenting saying that Western parents are too permissive and they worry too much about hurting their kid’s feelings. As a result, Western parents don’t push their children to achieve their best. I actually think she may be onto something there. I believe it’s okay to push your kids hard to achieve their best. It’s alright to demand more of your child and expect them to work to their fullest potential. What I don’t agree with is her methodology.

I disagree that insulting your child is an appropriate way to get him/her to behave or work harder. I believe in discipline but not to the extent that she implements it.

Ultimately I found Chua’s memoir to be brutally honest, painful to read at times, but all in all fascinating and well worth the read. Despite her extreme parenting, it is clear that she loves her daughters and I came away from the book feeling that.

I’m a really boring cook. I tend to make the same things over and over again. When I was about to have Samara, I begged my friend Cordula (Cordy) to make me some interesting food and freeze it so that when the baby was born, I could have a break from cooking. I read this was a good thing to do, before I had Ari, but I never ended up doing it. Cordy is an amazing cook, and a vegetarian, so I knew she’d come up with some yummy inventive dishes for us to try.

One of the meals she made was zucchini lentil soup. I quickly became obsessed with it and begged her for the recipe. She kindly handed it over. The recipe originated from a woman named Rivkah Tuttle, a friend of Cordy’s whom I’ve never met, for the record. Ms. Tuttle, though we’ve never met, I adore your soup!

Addendum: Ms. Tuttle’s sister, Elisheva, informed me that this recipe is from Susie Fishbein’s “Kosher By Design Lightens Up.”

Without further ado, here is the recipe for zucchini lentil soup, with pictures:

Zucchini Lentil Soup

Makes 6 servings
Don’t overcook or the lentils will start come apart.

Ingredients
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 large sweet onion, such as Vidalia, cut into ¼ inch pieces
4 cloves fresh garlic, coarsely chopped
½ teaspoon dried sage
¼ teaspoon dried thyme
2 large or 3 medium zucchini, with skin, cut into ½ inch pieces
¼ cup fresh dill, stems trimmed, loosely packed
6 cups chicken or vegetable stock (I use vegetable stock)
1 cup dried red lentils

Soup Directions
Heat the olive oil in a large soup pot over medium-low heat. Add the onion, garlic, sage and thyme. Cook until the onion is translucent; do not allow it to brown.

Add the zucchini and dill. Saute for 4-5 minutes, until zucchini is a little shiny.

Add the stock. Simmer for 15-20 minutes, or until the zucchini is soft.

Using an immersion blender, right in the pot, puree the soup until creamy. This can also be done in batches in a blender. I use a regular old blender and my soup turns out fine.

Add the lentils. Simmer, stirring occasionally, for 8 minutes.

Wil is a notorious carnivore, and does not consider a meal a real meal unless there is meat involved. Even he liked this soup!

Enjoy!