Monthly Archives: August 2012

A Taste of Wool Part 10

Terrence was always early for school, and today was no exception. His mother dropped him off 10 minutes early every day so that she wouldn’t be late for her job. Olivia, Terrence’s mother, had just obtained the position of legal secretary at a law firm in town.

Little did Terrence know that his early arrival would result in him coming face to face with his fourth grade teacher, bawling his eyes out at a wooden desk that was ridiculously too small for his adult body.
Terrence tried with all his might to make no sound while he tip toed to the coat closet to hang up his jacket. Unfortunately, he banged his tow on the door, and that was that. Urie was startled by the loud thump; he suddenly lifted his head up from sobbing and stared at Terrence, who was stunned by his teacher’s tear stained face. Now it was Terrence’s turn to look like a radish, it was certainly a fine day for radish impersonations.
“Well, hello Terrence. I didn’t see you there.” Urie said as he hastily wiped the tears from his face. “And how are you this morning?” He asked trying his hardest to put a lighthearted tone into his voice.
“I’m fine, um…I…” Terrence began, and then he realized that he had nothing to say. Well, that wasn’t exactly the case. He could have said I’ve never seen a man cry before, which was true. The fact was, Terrence hadn’t been around many adult men in his short life. Terrence’s mother was a single mom. The only males Terrence had regular contact with were the mailman, and his long haired cat, Garfunkel. The mailman didn’t get too emotional about the mail one way or the other, and Garfunkel hardly ever blinked, so it seemed highly unlikely that tears would flow from his furry face.
“I um…forgot something outside. I’ll be right back.” Terrence said slowly, and with that he crept out of the classroom door and exited as if he were trying not to wake a sleeping child.
As he closed the door behind him, he stepped out into the hallway and came face to face with Harry. Harry’s wide eyes stared at Terrence with fear. There was something about this boy that made Harry a little uneasy, and it was an exceedingly difficult task to make Harry uneasy. It was Terrence’s calm that made Harry’s stomach twirl. Unlike most children who interacted with Harry, Terrence was not afraid. He peered into Harry’s black eyes with curiosity, not fear. All at once Harry knew that Terrence knew that Harry wasn’t crazy.
“Thank you!” Harry said to Terrence after he had this realization.
Terrence raised his eyebrows in confusion and said:
“Um…you’re welcome?” And then let out a little giggle. Harry let out a chuckle. They both sighed a sigh of relief. And Harry said:
“Come here, I’d like to show you something.”
***
This is part 10 of my story, A Taste of Wool. I will be posting a new part each Wednesday, as a part of Wool Wednesdays. To read part 9, click here.

The Winner of The Crocodile Creek Back to School Giveaway is…

Congratulations!
Now, would you care for a sports car lunch box…

Or…a lady bug lunch box?


Congratulations Jess!
*Winner was selected by Random.org. Special thanks to Crocodile Creek for this great giveaway!

Private Picassos and Ari

For Ari’s fourth birthday, Aunt Mimi and Uncle Mike got him a series of in home art lessons with a New York City based company called Private Picassos.
The great thing about Private Picassos, is that the lesson literally comes to you. Your art teacher brings all the materials and comes to your home!
Ari loved his personalized art lessons, here’s a video of what he and Valeen, the founder of Private Picassos, did in Ari’s individualized lessons:

Samara Needs Friends

I have two children, one of them is four and the other one is 18 months. Ari, the four year old, is my first born. I wrote down every milestone, I waited with baited breath for him to talk and walk and eat solid food. Then came his sister, Samara. One day I noticed Samara was sitting up How could that be? She was just born. And just like that, she was crawling, and saying mama, and I hadn’t written any of it down, and she didn’t even have a baby book. Oy! You get the point.

Well, here’s the best part of the whole thing. I made huge efforts for Ari to have friends. Since he was nine months old, I went to the library, I hung out at the playground, and I mom dated. I sifted through the sea of Park Slope moms, and found some people that I actually liked, and who liked me. Ari found some kids who he didn’t hit very often, and liked to play with on the playground and at their houses.
Samara, on the other hand, doesn’t have any friends. Wait, wait, hold on, that’s not entirely true. She does occasionally hang out with Ollie’s sister, Ivy, who is 14 months. And my friend Jen’s son, Jonathan who will be two imminently. But she doesn’t have friends that she hangs out with on a consistent basis. She doesn’t have a playgroup, like Ari had.
Part of the issue is me. I’m overwhelmed. I try to befriend other moms on the playground that have 18 month olds, but my attention is divided. Ari wants me to play with him, or Samara is sticking her hand in the garbage.

The other issue is (and maybe I’m just being paranoid) but it seems like the only parents who are interested in being friends with me are the ones that have two kids! The moms that have one kid don’t seem to care about getting to know me at all. It’s like we’re speed dating and they’ve clicked bell as soon as they see me. Yikes!
I promise, I’m fun to hang out with parents of one child!
The point is Samara needs friends, and damn it, I’m gonna get her some!
Is it just me? Does anyone else with multiple children have this issue?

A Taste of Wool Part 9

It was 8:15 am, and Urie was standing in the hallway in front of his classroom. Unconsciously, he reached his index finger into his enormous nose. There was a certain comfort in the nasal cavity for Urie that could not be replicated in any other area on his life. It was as if all his problems melted away as he slipped his wrinkled finger into the abyss of his nostril. His finger was fully emerged in nostril heaven at the very moment that Harry turned a corner with his mop. Harry stood next to Urie and stared at him until Urie turned as red as a radish, removed his finger from his nose and said:

“Haii, har, haiiree.” Or something of the sort; this was reaction number three. Harry patted Urie on the back and said softly:
“Cottage cheese.”
The two began to whistle “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.” By The Platters. Then something miraculous happened, Harry spoke to Urie.
“How did you know I was going to whistle that song?” Harry asked.
“What?” Urie was startled, not by Harry’s question itself, but by the fact that Harry was able to utter a full sentence.
“You knew, didn’t you?” Harry asked looking deep into Urie’s eyes with stare of a child, or perhaps it was more like the stare of Susie’s beady rat eyes.
“Knew what?” Urie asked still in shock.
“That I was going to whistle that song.” Harry repeated slowly. Urie furrowed his brow.
“Well Harry,” he said clearing his throat, “I honestly hadn’t given it much thought. I guess it just kind of happened.”
Harry scoffed at Urie.
“Nothing just happens! Okay?! Do you think it’s a coincidence that we only have three possible interactions with one another?” Harry was getting riled up. He was losing control, of what he wanted to reveal to Urie.
“Harry, I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Why was he lying? Thought Harry. Urie knew very well what Harry was referring to. I mean, after all, these interactions were so commonplace between Harry and Urie, they might have been saying to one another “Hey, how ya’ doing? How are the wife and kids?”
But Urie was terrified. He didn’t like where this conversation was leading. A part of him was beginning to think that Harry was, in fact, crazy.
“Come on Urie! Don’t do this! You have an opportunity…” Harry began, but Urie quickly cut him off.
“I think I’d better straighten up before the kids get here.” Urie blurted out and with that, he disappeared into his classroom and slammed the door in Harry’s face. Urie’s heart was running a marathon in his chest. Damn it James Urie! Why can’t you keep you finger out of your nose?

He banged his fist against the coat closet, and slumped into his a desk that was way too small for his adult body. And without warning, tears began to flow from his eyes. He was so engrossed in his sadness, that he didn’t even hear the door creak open.
***
This is part 9 of my short story, A Taste of Wool. A new part will be posted every Wednesday, as a part of Wool Wednesdays. This is a bonus part for all you pandas reading out there, posted on a Saturday. To read part 8 click here.

A Taste of Wool Part 8

“BLOORRG!” Harry exclaimed. Dr. Drillateral sighed a long sigh and closed his eyes. He saw purple and green spots. The spots he saw resembled the ink blots that he was gripping tightly in his left fist (for Dr. Drillateral was left-handed) and had just asked Harry to identify.

“Can you describe bloorrg?” Dr. Drillateral said calmly .
Let it be known that Harry was perfectly capable of using adjectives to coherently describe “bloorrg.” Bloorrg was more of a feeling than a tangible object. Bloorrg was the utter frustration that Harry felt at that moment when Dr. Drillateral was so desperately trying to evoke an answer that resembled “table” or “beach ball” or “ice cream cone.” But that wasn’t the answer that Harry would have given if he were to answer under the coherent terms of Dr. Drillateral. He would have begun a monologue about the complexity of the current situation, and how he wished that Dr. Drillateral could understand what he understood. Unfortunately for Drillateral, what Harry did say was nowhere near “ice cream cone,” or even “Bloorrg” for that matter. He opened his mouth and began to tell a story:
“When I was eight, I had a pet rat. She was black and white. Her name was Susie. She was a domesticated rat, so she was wasn’t dangerous, she didn’t bite.” I used to sit in my living room on a couch cushion on the floor in front of the TV with Susie in my lap. Sometimes I would spread my body out on the carpet length-wise and let Susie climb from my stomach to my face. Now you’re probably thinking, ‘weren’t you afraid that Susie would poop on your face? But Susie was a good girl, and I knew she wouldn’t do that to me. When Susie reached the point just below my collar bone, I would stare into her eyes. I knew that she saw something I didn’t see. She had a spark of knowledge in those black beady eyes that I lacked. But now, I see what she saw.”
Dr. Drillateral had never owned a pet. Actually, that’s not entirely true. He once briefly owned a Golden Retriever puppy, but quickly had to get rid of it, because he broke out in hives after wrestling with it. Ever since his WWF match with that particular canine, Dr. Drillateral had rid himself of animal interaction all together. However, Drillateral knew what Harry was getting at.
“What does the mop know, and what has it told you?” Drillateral asked leaning in close to hear the answer.
Harry began snickering quietly. The snickering transformed slowly into a slight chuckle and eventually evolved into an uproarious cackle.
“BLOORRG!” Harry exclaimed joyfully. Drillateral groaned.
***
This is part of my short story, A Taste of Wool. I will be revealing a new segment each Wednesday, here OS/NS Mom as a part of Wool Wednesdays. To read part 7, click here.

Chaos

How do you hold it together when everything is falling apart?

The fabric is itchy and uncomfortable.
My insides hurt, they’re swollen and red. I feel circular.
Everything is spinning, and I want to stop it but I can’t. I can’t turn it around.
I want to find my covers and crawl under them. I want to fall into a deep sleep and dream.

Back To School Giveaway With a Crocodile Creek Lunch Box!

Ari is starting Pre-K in September. I can hardly believe it. I was thinking about the supplies he might need, and one that crossed my mind was a lunch box. I happen to love the Crocodile Creek lunch boxes. They’re well made, and they have awesome designs that kids love!
I wrote to Bill over at Crocodile Creek and asked if we could do a back to school giveaway here on OS/NS mom, he graciously accepted!
Ari loves his new Crocodile Creek lunch box!

I mean, what’s not to love, right? it’s got a race car on it.
Want to see what’s inside? I thought you did.


If you’re curious to know what Ari’s having for lunch, here’s the breakdown: a peanut butter and honey sandwich on organic whole wheat bread. The peanut butter has no sodium and is organic and so is the honey, grape tomatoes, water and an organic string cheese.
If you’re child prefers lady bugs to race cars, you could opt to win this one instead!

What are you waiting for! Enter to win!

Please post a comment telling which of these you did; each of them counts as an entry:
3. Follow my blog on GFC
6. Tweet this giveaway and link to it in a comment here on my blog.
7. Post on Facebook about the giveaway and mention Crocodile Creek and OS/NS Mom.
The winner will be announced on Tuesday August 28th 2012! Good luck everyone!

A Taste of Wool Part 7

Terrence Warily hung his coat up on the hook with his name written over it. Urie had written all the children’s names on pieces of masking tape in blue permanent marker and taped these individual pieces over each of their hooks in the coat closet. Since Terrence was new to Urie’s class, his name was written in red permanent marker as opposed to blue. The reason for this was that Urie had misplaced the blue marker, however Terrence felt that it made him stand out more from the rest of the closet hooks, and the other children in the classroom. It was as if Terrence was the star in a major motion picture entitled “Fourth Grade: Adventures in the Coat Closet.”

As Terrence approached the closet to hang up his green fleece jacket, he bumped into a boy who held residency at the masking tape zone next to his.
“Damn boy! Watch where you’re goin’!” Shouted Rasheed Brown as he pushed passed Terrence to hang up his red winter jacket in it’s rightful spot. Rasheed was the loud mouth of Urie’s class. Being a Sagittarius with a moon in Leo, he didn’t hesitate to tell anyone at any time what was on his mind. It didn’t matter if Rasheed was talking to Terrence or Mz. Sweeny, adult or child, he would let them know what he thought at any given moment.
Urie was quite fond of Rasheed. Most teachers at Rutherford Bacon despised Rasheed’s forthright manner, which usually resulted in a fight or two and numerous trips to Mz. Sweeny’s office. The trips to Mz. Sweeny’s office were pointless, because all Rasheed would do was stare at her breasts the entire time.
“Rasheed?” Mz. Sweeny would ask quietly.
“Huh?” Rasheed did not move his eyes from the sagging squash beneath Mz. Sweeny’s blouse.
“Do you want to talk about why you felt the need to hit Nicholas?”
“Not really,” Rasheed replied “But I guess you want to.” Rasheed looked up directly into Mz. Sweeny’s eyes. Mz. Sweeny said nothing, so Rasheed returned to staring at her breasts. After a half hour of this, Mz. Sweeny gave up and returned Rasheed to Urie’s classroom, or recess, or music, or whatever activity Rasheed happened to be missing out on in order to get a better look at Mz. Sweeny.
***
“S-S-sorry,” Terrence muttered “I didn’t mean to…”
“That’s all right,” Rasheed said slapping Terrence on the back “You’re the new kid, I’ll cut you some slack. But don’t let me see your ass in my space again, got it?” Rasheed said with a wink.
“Okay…” Terrence began, but Rasheed had already walked away to sit at his desk.
***
This is part of my short story a Taste of Wool. I will be posting a new portion each wednesday as a part of Wool Wednesday. Today was a bonus for you chickens, since Jenni Chiu requested it, and I love her.

Vardit Gives Me The Best Haircut of My Life Thanks To Kyle

I was on Facebook this morning, and I posted what was on my mind, I needed a haircut, and one that didn’t cost 1.5 million dollars, one that didn’t leave me looking like this:

Enter my dear friend, Kyle. Here’s what happened:

Uponing reading this post, I had a giant smile on my face, and I called Vardit immediately. She said that Kyle just happened to be coming in for a hair appointment today! She suggested that we surprise her and I come in for my cut right after Kyle’s appointment.
“She will be so surprised, it’ll be great.” Vardit said.

“Would it be all right if I brought my kids?” I asked Vardit over the phone.
“Sure!” She said warmly. “Just bring something to entertain them.” I thought for a moment and then I knew just who to bring:


Grandma!
My mom and I drove uptown to 102nd street, and we headed to Riverside Park to kill some time before the appointment. After we ran around in the park, we headed to Vardit’s studio.
As soon as we entered, I immediately felt at home. Vardit was so welcoming, and warm. I felt like she was a second Jewish mother.
She felt the texture of my hair, and talked to me about what I wanted to do with it. I told her about my terrible haircut, and she concurred that my hair needed some serious shaping. She asked me if I’d be all right with some long layers to which I replied:
“Yes! That would be great!”
The next thing that occurred was truly magical.


And the final result was this:


Vardit, you are an artist. I’m never going to a cheap salon ever again!

Thank you, Kyle! This is truly the best haircut I’ve ever had in my entire curly girl life.