Monthly Archives: March 2010

What The CDC Wants to Know About Me!

Last night I received a call from the CDC on behalf of the Census. Or was it the other way around? I don’t know, I was pretty tired when Ari answered the phone. Yes, Ari was the one who got the phone. When I collected the phone from him, the representative from the CDC was very amused.

The CDC wanted to know all about me and my household. And (because I was bored and felt sorry for the representative on the other end whose job it is to call random people across the country) I agreed to participate in the survey while Ari got to watch a Blue’s Clue’s marathon.

Here are some random questions that the United States government wanted to know the answers to:
-How many people over the age of 18 live in your household?

Just the two of us living in sin. No wedding rings to speak of.

-How many people over the age of 12 months and under the age of three live in your household?

I really had to think about that one!


-Has the child over 12 months and under three years been vaccinated for varicella (chicken pox)?

YES! I had the chicken pox when I was three and (though I don’t remember it) I’m fairly sure Ari is not missing out.

-Do you use cell phones or a land line or both?

I’m pro land line and we have one, but I am mostly lazy and use my cell phone.

-Do you use cell phones more than your land line?

Unfortunately, yes. But I try to alternate ears so the radiation is equally distributed.

-How much money did you make last year?

Not enough!

-What is the phone number of the hospital that gave your child Hepatitis B vaccine.

Um….I have no idea! I do know that I still owe them money!

-Are you married, divorced or single? I said:

Honey, I’m waiting for my rock.
She laughed! And said:

So I guess you’re single then?

I ate a lot of cookies during this phone interview. I felt like I was a celebrity! They really were interested in what goes on in my life, or at least in my household.

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Sarcastica: An Interview

I love language and word play. When I discovered Sarcastica’s blog, I was immediately intrigued. What a creative moniker! Sarcastica is a young mom from Canada. She has just graced her 20′s (congratulations to her, I miss that decade so…) and is the proud mama to Nolan. Sarcastica agreed to answer some questions about her motherhood experience. Without further ado, here she is: Sarcastica:

1. What’s in a name? Tell us about the name Sarcastica!

The name Sarcastica was thought up by my cousin Karen during a brainstorming session for an online identity. Sarcastica is my “alter ego”, the snarky, sarcastic girl that doesn’t hold back. In real life, I tend to hush Sarcastica’s funny quips because my humor often is misunderstood. Sarcastica stands for that part of me. I used to joke that Sarcastica was my version of Superman, only instead of flying and super strength I’ve got my sarcastic wit.

2. How long have you been blogging? How did you get started?

I’ve been blogging since December 2005, 5 years ago…I was 15!!!! My early blog posts are so embarrassing to read, but I love that I still have them and I can see how much I’ve changed in five years. What I thought was important then and how

I reacted to situations then is so different from now, even my writing style has changed! My cousin Karen (http://karensugarpants.com) got me started on blogging. She knew I loved to write, and thought I would enjoy blogging. Obviously I did because I’ve been doing it for five years now!

3. How did you react when you found out you were going to be a mom?

I still remember that day like it was yesterday. Our pregnancy was definitely not planned.
I had just started school for Dental Reception and Administration (which I hated and ended up dropping out of) and our lives were so not ready to include a baby. Matt wasn’t working and lived in his mom’s basement. Both of us were immature and definitely didn’t have our heads screwed on right.

I found out I was pregnant September 11th, 2008…I took two home pregnancy tests and was in shock for the next two days. Matt was terrified, especially of my dad’s reaction. We knew immediately that abortion was out of the question, that we were going to keep the baby. We told our families within the next week, so everyone knew right off the bat. I was scared out of my ever living tree, there was so much that I didn’t know and I had no idea if I was going to be any good at parenting, but as I wrote my morals were strong and I was set on having and raising Nolan from the first time I saw that double line! Read more about this topic here.

4. How were you when you gave birth to Nolan? Tell us your labor story!


I was a high risk pregnancy, so my pregnancy was followed by the high risk program at Mount Sinai hospital in Toronto. On my 37th week appointment (the first day of my 37th week, I might add), just after I saw the doctor filling in for my regular doctor (yep, he was on vacation…go figure) I went into labor while I was sitting in the waiting room, waiting for my ultrasound to see if Nolan was still breech.

It wasn’t the kind of labor I saw in movies, with horrible pain that makes you scream and double over. I did have contractions that made it very difficult for me to stand and walk to the bathroom though. I had my ultrasound and it was discovered that my amniotic fluid was low and Nolan was still breech. T the doctors advised me to have a c-section to get him out since my fluid was so low (without my water breaking or anything). I agreed, worried about Nolan (and excited to see him too, I might add), and my c-section was scheduled for 8pm that night.

It was your standard c-section, and I was awake for it so I got to “see” and hear what was going on. Seeing Matt’s look on his face when Nolan first cried was priceless, and it made me cry. Matt later described it as “something from Alien vs. Predator”, ha! It was apparent that something was wrong with Nolan though, because he wasn’t breathing normally.

They took him to NICU and they discovered he had fluid on the lungs, so he spent an additional 2 weeks in the hospital clearing that up. It was hard for me because I didn’t really understand what was going on, and I was so worried about him and so disappointed that I couldn’t hold him and do skin to skin and try to breastfeed and all that, but I am so thankful that it wasn’t a major medical issue. Basically, my main emotions were; happy, thrilled, scared, worried, and anxious, like any new mom!

5. Did you nurse Nolan?

I did nurse Nolan! Since he was in NICU, I pumped ever 2-3 hours solidly for two weeks - my milk supply was INTENSE! When he first came home, he was bottle fed with the milk I pumped. We’d try breastfeeding every meal but he didn’t catch on until he was 4 weeks, then we ditched the bottles and I nursed him until he was about four months old. I had to go in for an operation in Toronto and unfortunately the pain killers (and the depression/anxiety of being separated from him) made my milk dry right up. When I got home I had a lot of recovering to do and couldn’t handle his weight on my hip so we didn’t try again, plus he was comfortable on the bottles and formula. I wish I could have nursed him longer but I’m glad that I was able to for the four months!

6. What is the hardest thing about being a mom?

The hardest thing about being a mom for me is the knowledge that Nolan has inherited my bone disorder (Multiple Hereditary Exostoses) and may be faced with several surgeries over the course of his youth (and adulthood). No mom likes to see her child in pain, and I feel guilty knowing that he will have pain in his future and surgeries. At the same time I am grateful that I know what to expect from this disorder and that it is not a life threatening one. Another hard thing about being a mom is the decisions! There are so many of them and I sometimes get over whelmed. Luckily I have a wonderful support group that I can turn to for the decisions that really boggle my mind!

7. What is the best thing about being a mom?

The best thing about being a mom is seeing Nolan learn new things every day and I experience all of his firsts with him! There are so many things that I love about being a mom, I don’t even think I could list them all! It is so awesome that I get to teach this child and help him grow up to be the best person he can be! And of course I love the goober kisses he plants on my cheek each morning!


7. What advice would you offer to young moms like yourself?

Be prepared for your entire life to change, it’s a great and wonderful thing! Try not to have your mind set against breastfeeding, so many young moms are afraid of it and therefore against it and it was the best thing I could have done! My bond with Nolan is so strong and I enjoyed nursing him so much, I miss it even now!

[Baby] clothes don’t have to be bought brand new at fancy stores, I find a lot of adorable new outfits at consignment store for half the price and Nolan still looks amazing! Be sure to be patient and mindful; babies cry because that’s how they communicate, don’t take it personally and don’t let it damper your mood or day. Having a baby doesn’t mean your social life stops, but it does change a lot. And…patience takes lots of practice! Oh, and don’t let someone else tell you what’s right for your baby. Listen to advice, process it, and make your own decisions! Sometimes people can be helpful and teach you things you didn’t know, so don’t be completely against help!

8. Do you love Canada?

I definitely LOVE Canada! I can’t imagine living anywhere else. I am grateful for our health care system and for bacon.

To read more from Sarcastica, visit her blog by clicking on her picture below!


Note, Sarcastica now blogs as Jessi @ Notes of Life and Love. Click below for her new blog:




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Wishing on a Magical Wednesday

Wednesday gets a bad rep. Some people refer to Wednesday as “hump day” as it is smack in the middle of the week.

This Wednesday is magical. As I walked to school this morning, I saw Wednesday’s magic in the bark of the tree-lined Brooklyn streets. We are invited to make a wish for something that you want in your life, something that is missing. We will wish on this Wednesday.

This Wednesday, I wish that I will become a successful writer. I will reach people with my writing. On this magical Wednesday I hope that I can, one day, I can support myself exclusively by writing.

Thank you Wednesday. I know you’re listening.

What would you like to wish for this Wednesday?

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Playground Speed Dating

Long before pseudo-married life, I dated people. Yes, I was young once. I usually ended up scaring the guy off because I was “too intense” or he “couldn’t give me what I needed.” That was code for “I’m not that attracted to you and you’re too needy! Get a dog or go call your mother!”

During my dating days, I never had the chance to try speed dating. What I know of speed dating, and my knowledge is solely based on television sitcoms, is that you sit at a table with a person, talk to them for 60 seconds exactly, then a bell rings and you move on to the person at the next table. This process repeats at least 10 times. At the end of this rigmarole, you choose the person(s) that you like from the bunch.

It turns out that I’ve been involved in a similar activity to speed dating and I didn’t even realize it: playground speed dating!

Here’s how it works:

I’m on the playground. I meet a mom and we start talking:

ME: Your son is so cute! How old is he?
SHE: 20 months.
ME: Aw!
SHE: How old is your son?
ME: He’ll be two in May. Where are you from?
HE: Long Island?
ME: Where in— (I realize that Ari is no where in sight)

Speed date # 1 is finished. I’m running across the playground chasing after Ari. He stops to climb up the jungle gym.

Speed date #2: I meet another mom, this time attached to a little girl.

ME: She’s so cute. Wow! She just said “Excuse me!”
SHE: Yeah, she’s always been a talker.
ME: I just got my son to say “please.”
SHE: Oh yeah. Which one is your little guy?
[I look but can't find Ari anywhere. Then I spot him!]

This process repeats itself indefinitely until we eventually leave the playground to go home. It occurs to me that this is why I have very few mom friends! I only get to talk with moms for 30 seconds intervals or less!
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Meet My New Secretary

I’ve been swamped with work lately, so I decided to get some help. I’ve hired a secretary. Wait? Is that politically correct? Is it called an “administrative assistant” these days? Who am I kidding? I’m not politically correct! He’s a secretary!

Anyway, he’s here to answer phone calls in particular. I just can’t deal with anymore wrong numbers or telemarketers.

He’s diligent and has a strong work ethic. And he’s graciously agreed to be featured on the blog. Here he is in action! Meet my new secretary:

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Ari Parts With Such Sweet Sorrow

My family has a penchant for the dramatic. Obviously Ari has inherited our flamboyant genes. Watch below as he says goodbye (dramatically) to two of his biggest fans: Liz and Jeff Fader, otherwise known as grandma and grandpa.

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Monday Gymnastics

I just want to say, for the record, that I’m awesome.

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How Badly Do You Want to Watch Blue’s Clues?

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Listerine is Trying to Tell Me It’s Monday

This morning I refused to get out of bed, flat out refused. I finally made it to the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet to retrieve my toothbrush and was jolted awake when my enormous bottle of cool mint Listerine jumped into my arms! It was trying to tell me “Wake up! It’s Monday!”

Next time I go to Costco, I’m buying the original scary yellow variety. The cool mint is too self-satisfied for my taste.

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Were You Raised in a Barn?

I started to teach Ari “please.” I wasn’t sure he was going to get it. I mean, he’s not even two yet. I guess the reason for the new vocabulary word is that I am so fed up with the tantrums, I wanted to start some positive habits, like manners for instance.

Well, to my surprise he’s getting it! In the first video he says please reluctantly because he just finished a tantrum. But in the second one, he’s saying it in a less begrudging manner.

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