Stigma Fighters- Liz B.

My name is Liz. I had my first psychotic break in 1995 when I was 15 years old at a camp for highly intelligent kids who thought they might go to law school someday. I was having visual and auditory hallucinations. Apparently that isn’t normal. I had a few misdiagnoses but was eventually diagnosed as Bipolar I and have been treated for it now for several years.

In 1998, while a first year student in college I was sexual assaulted. I was dealing with that and Bipolar, had another psychotic break and yet still successfully graduated. I went on to graduate school. While in grad school, I had my third psychotic break. I also realized I had been raped and began to face that reality.

When I went to get my first full time job out of college, I was in a full blown depression. And since people usually don’t like sad people, I had a hard time getting hired. So I worked three part-time jobs to make ends meet. Somedays I didn’t eat to save money.

Then I got my first full time job and for the first time in my life I had health insurance. During that time, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I actually started to talk about my sexual assault. Not really with many friends or family, but at least with my therapist.

Holding a professional full time job in a very stressful career wasn’t easy. I often bawled my eyes out in the bathroom in between important meetings. But I survived it for a few years. During that time, I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The main reason I was diagnosed was because of the obsessive thoughts. One thought about one insignificant thing would keep me awake all night and would seriously interrupt my life.

I had to leave my professional job for many reasons including that it regularly caused me to have flashbacks from my sexual assault. That’s a long story, but my mental health was my priority for leaving. I was also starting to have physical health problems.

A year after leaving that job and being unemployed/underemployed I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. The most annoying part about cancer was all of the sympathy I received. I never received an ounce of sympathy about mental health - when all of it, in my experience, was much much worse than cancer.

Now I share my story online in hopes that I help to reduce the stigma that people have about mental illness. My mental illnesses are diseases, just like my cancer, and need to be treated in a similar way. If I, myself, can’t share my story then it indicates that I also have stigma so I discuss my mental health issues just like I do anything else. I have found that when I share my story, I have an impact. Sometimes I don’t know it immediately, but I have been applauded for my courage many times when later someone has a diagnosis in their family.

I know for sure through my blogs, WomanlyWoman.com and RadioactiveLiz.com, that I have helped many people. I’ve received several messages and support from my readers in all kinds of ways I never imagined. Some people have criticized my move to be transparent, but the pay off is totally worth it. In writing this post, I hope to encourage others to share their stories.

Elizabeth Barnett is a stigma fighter residing in Cincinnati, OH. She grew up in the Appalachian region of Southern Ohio where, to this day, mental health care access is limited. She went on to receive a B.A. in Sociology with a minor in Psychology from Wittenberg University and an M.Ed. in Higher Education Administration from Ohio University - Athens. She also began her M.B.A. studies just before receiving treatment for cancer. She is currently self employed and has multiple websites/blogs including WomanlyWoman.com and RadioactiveLiz.com. You can follow her on Twitter at http://www.Twitter.com/WomanlyWoman.

  • http://www.LizBarnett.me/ Liz Barnett

    Sarah, Thank you so much for giving me a new platform to share my story. I hope that it is helpful to your readers!

    • http://oldschoolnewschoolmom.com/ Old School/New School Mom

      Thank you for having the courage to talk about these issues openly. I know that someone out there is going through the same issues and is comforted to know that you survived.

  • http://thefeveredpen.wordpress.com/ jess.⚓

    Liz, you are remarkable. It makes me so sad that mental illness doesn’t receive the same amount of empathy that cancer or other illnesses do. It’s amazing people like yourself that will change that. Thank you!

    • http://oldschoolnewschoolmom.com/ Old School/New School Mom

      She truly is remarkable. I’m so honored that she had the courage to share her story here.

    • http://www.LizBarnett.me/ Liz Barnett

      Thank you so much, Jess! It means a lot that people such as yourself can encourage me. I don’t get a lot of encouragement from those who interact with me on a daily basis - too close to home. But hearing it from people on the internet really helps.

  • Derek S

    Thank you for sharing Liz. A lot of this hits home for me as well. I went full transparency after finally speaking about my depression, and not looking back. It’s quite a thing to get that random message from someone telling you that you helped them without even knowing it. There’s more good than harm can come of it, so thank you for being one of the ones to speak up. Stay Strong.

    • TLanceB

      great comment

    • http://www.LizBarnett.me/ Liz Barnett

      Thanks so much for the encouragement!

  • TLanceB

    I’m so proud that you help others. Staying in the shadows only hurts yourself. Great post. Thank you

    • http://www.LizBarnett.me/ Liz Barnett

      It is so very true. Hiding things really just hurts more and more. You start to disassociate with your disorder and it causes more problems. When I began to embrace that this was part of me and it was not going away, things began to change and I became healthier. I would rather be healthy than “stay in the shadows” any day. For me the shadows lead to suicidal thoughts and social isolation. If being open means I risk losing some social connections but gaining a life where I am able to be open and honest, I’m OK with that. One thing I didn’t mention is that being open like this caused me to lose several friends along the away. Some people were “OK with me” the way I was so long as I didn’t mention it out loud. They would “shhh” me in public and tell me that it was inappropriate to discuss my disease openly. I also don’t appreciate when people turn it into a joke. If I am joking about it, that’s a different story because I’m bringing humor to a difficult situation. But it really irritates me when people turn “my crazy” into a comedy act out of their own insecurities.

      • TLanceB

        thanks liz
        My family and friends don’t care for me to be SO OPEN with my stuff but it’s helped me and I know it’s helped a handful of fellow mentally ill folks who’ve read me or talked to me
        Lance Burson aka @lanceburson

        • http://www.LizBarnett.me/ Liz Barnett

          Yeah I’ve met plenty of people that don’t like that I “air my dirty laundry” but honestly they don’t give me a hard time about talking about cancer so I go on in the same way about it as I would with that. If people don’t like it, I allow them to drop out of my life. I’ve had that happen a few times now and I’m fine with it. It’s their problem — and they miss out on hanging out with someone as AWESOME as me. LOL Do I sound manic? haha

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