Monthly Archives: April 2012

My English teacher, Karyn Kay, died this morning. My friend Roy told me the news. I didn’t know what to think or how I felt about it. I was in shock, to be sure. She was only 63, younger than both my parents.

One of the thoughts that went through my head was, I still have my creative writing notebook from Ms. Kaye’s 11th grade creative writing class.

If I close my eyes, I can feel what it felt like to sit in a chair desk, the kind that were both chair and desk combined. I can imagine the room full of 29 students, Ms. Kaye petite and slender, dark red lipstick on her pursed lips, sitting at the front of the classroom nodding as Maria read her poem aloud to the entire class.

Ms. Kaye’s eyes were small, but pensive. She was listening. My heart pounded, thinking I could volunteer to read my story, but I didn’t feel like I was good enough. The other 28 students in the class were far more talented.

But there was something about Ms. Kaye that made me feel safe. She made me feel like I could raise my hand. I could share something of myself. My heart began to race as my hand slowly crept up. Ms. Kaye and I locked eyes, and she nodded at me:

“Sarah?”

I read my story aloud to class, wondering what she would think. Occasionally I looked up trying to gauge her expression. I knew she was listening.

Thank you, Karyn Kaye for believing in me. Thank you for creating an environment where we could feel free enough to express ourselves as 16 year-olds going through one of the most difficult times in our lives.

Thank you for inspiring young writers to continue writing.

A great woman died today.

She will be missed.

A couple of months ago, Jennifer Berryman, PhD sent me a copy of her parenting book, A Parents’ Guide to Creating Wonderful People to review for my blog. Like most things in my house, it disappeared, maybe the cats were reading it. That’s all I can figure.

She was kind enough to send me another copy, thank you Dr. Berryman! And it was worth it. A Parents’ Guide to Creating Wonderful People is readable, and gives practical advice as to how to cope with various parenting situations.

I like that Dr. Berryman stresses the importance of modeling in the book. Here is an excerpt:

“Never underestimate the power of modeling. Children are constantly learning from their parents and watch their every move. You might think your child is just tagging along while you run errands, but he is watching you closely and learning to behave just like you do. “

Berryman, P. 108.

I find this to be true of Ari. When I’m at the grocery store, he thanks every single person who even remotely helped us, which I believe he modeled from me. I thank the employee that helped me find the flax seed, or the one who checked us out at the register, or the one that said good morning as we walked into the store. Ari sees me say thank you, and he is always running around saying thank you to all the people that help us.

Berryman’s book is based on concepts that we intrinsically know, but she highlights them, and makes us think about our behavior:

“Never tell your children their bad. Kids don’t need to hear comments like “you’re a bad boy.”

If you dislike their behavior, tell them that. Say “I don’t like it when you hit.”

Berryman, P. 81

This is something my dad used to say to me about adults, actually. He had a boss that would tell the employees “I don’t like what you did.” He wouldn’t attack the person’s character saying things like “You’re a bad worker,” or “You’re a jerk.” It’s one thing to say “I don’t like you,” and quite another to say “I don’t like what you’re doing.” I think Berryman is onto something here.

Now if only Dr. Berryman could teach me to have more patience. I could really use some right now, because I told Ari to clean up his toys 80 times as I’m writing this post and he’s just standing here.

Want to read more from Dr. Berryman? Here’s your chance to win” A Parents’ Guide to Creating Wonderful People.

Leave a comment here about what you hope to gain from this book! Make sure to leave your email address in the comment so I know how to contact you if you win!

Winner will be announced on May 2nd, 2012!

Good luck!