Stop Bragging About Your Sleeping Child
My children are terrible sleepers. I don't what it is, but they just don't enjoy shutting their eyes and moving to dreamland. Maybe they feel as if they're missing out on something terribly exciting. They're not. I can assure them of that. Actually, I can't assure either of them of that, because if I could, they would listen and go to sleep.I have to say, one of the worst things that I've encountered as a parent, that goes into the category of unsolicited advice and comments, is the parents who tell me all about how wonderfully their children sleep.This one goes out to you people, the ones with sleeping children. Here goes:If I tell you that my four year-old can't wind down and fall asleep at night, I do not want to hear about how your child slept through the night at three days old. What I want is for you to emphathize with my situation, tell me how hard it must be, and then maybe if I ask for it, or seem open to it, offer some practical advice about how I might get him to actually sleep. Should I mention to you my 18 month old, who is [...]
A Lesson in Hydration By Ari
It's the summer, and it's very important to drink water. I find myself getting irritable because of the heat, and I frequently forget that drinking lots of water makes me feel a lot better.In fact, my acupuncturist specifically told me that my body has a heat excess, so the summer months are especially tough for me. All the more reason to stay hydrated!Ari and I were discussing the benefits of staying hydrated, and what happens when you don't drink enough water. This is what he had to say on the matter:
My Secret Crush
I've been obsessed with him for a long time. I just haven't had the guts to admit it to myself. I think about him a lot. He's perfect in every way.I even like the way he tastes.I can't take it anymore.I can't hold these feelings inside.They're eating me alive.Here he is: I love him so much.He's creamy, he's USDA organic, he only has 1 gram of sugar, and absolutely no sodium.He's also incredibly hard to find. I think he's playing hard to get because he's so amazing. The only place I can manage to get him is Fresh Direct.He's beautiful on the inside too. I feel so much better now.
I Used to Be Spontaneous and Then I Had Kids!
I used to be spontaneous... and then I had kids! Before I had kids, I owned a 2003 Ford Focus in midnight blue. I'd wake up one morning, and feel like going to the beach. I wouldn't think twice about it, off I'd drive to Long Beach! Now, I wake up in the morning and I feel like going to the beach. I ask Ari if he wants to go to the beach. "Yes!" He says enthusiastically. But then he refuses to put his pants on. As much as I love to be spontaneous, these days I tend to do it with pants on. With kids, things require planning. Here's what I think of planning: Actually, to be fair, this face is much more fun than planning is. What I really think of planning, is that it's boring and the opposite of me. I miss living my "fly by the seat of my pants" lifestyle. I hate having to think about all the shit I have to bring with me just to leave the damn house.I just want to grab my bag and go. I don't want to think about diapers, wipes, water, food, toys. Okay my brain hurts.But I [...]
MamaDrama Interviewed Me!
Once upon a time there was a woman named Sarah Fader who hated Twitter. She thought it was silly and an overly simplified version of Facebook. One day, she started to meet amazing people on the bird website known as Twitter. One of those fantastic people she met was named Holly Rosen Fink. Holly and her partner Erin Leigh Peck, it turned out, ran an awesome company called MamaDrama Consulting where they promoted artistic ventures to parents, and (more specifically) moms. Sarah Fader was a mom, and she was dramatic.It was a match made in drama heaven. Sarah Fader was invited to see some of these these fabulous artistic experiences, and she wrote about them on her blog.One day, Holly Rosen Fink sent Sarah Fader an email asking if she could interview her. Sarah Fader was flattered. She blushed. And then she answered emphatically:"I would be honored."Here's what Sarah Fader had to say**: We continue our new “5 Minutes” series profiling our network’s members with Sarah Fader. Sarah blogs over at Old School New School Mom about her life as a mother. She writes honestly about every aspect and will bring you to tears (often from laughter) through her words. Here’s what we [...]
The Adventures of Samara
Samara is very busy these days. Here's what she's been up to:
Sex in Mommyville
Recently I had the opportunity to attend a reading of a unique and hilarious play reading, Sex in Mommyville.* I chose to take my amazing friend Donna with me to the reading, I love you girl! The reading of Sex and Mommyville was at The Snapple Theater. When we first arrived at the theater, we headed straight for the ladies room. I must say, this theater had the cutest bathroom I've ever seen. The sinks were wearing skirts! They made me feel a little underdressed for the show! Our next stop was a wine and cheese display, which we naturally indulged in. The show commenced, and we sat back and enjoyed our girl's night out! Sex in Mommyville is about what it feels like to be a mother and cope with one's desire to remain sexual. The protagonist, Artemis, played by Anna Fishbeyn (who is also the writer of the show) struggles between the role of mother, and sexual being. Not only is Artemis a mother and a wife, but she is also a writer. Her inner writer's voice is characterized by Greek muses who speak for Artemis' desires. Other characters who play a part in the story are Artemis' [...]
Ari Discovers The Road Atlas
One day, we were in a taxi and Ari spotted a road atlas in the driver's side seat pocket. "What is this, mommy?" He asked. "These are maps," I explained. "They show the driver different routes he can take to get where he needs to go." "Ohhhh!" He said with a fascinated expression. He spent the rest of the short taxi ride carefully examining the maps in the atlas, and tracing his finger along the thin blue and pink lines and over the Interstates. When we were getting ready to exit the taxi, he picked up the atlas and attempted to stow away with it. I caught him thankfully, and explained that the atlas had to stay in the taxi, because it belonged to the driver. "But I want a map!" He said nearly in tears. "Well, maybe we can go to the bookstore some time and find our own atlas." "No! I want this map!" I had to forcibly eject him from the taxi while he was still pining for the map. When we got home we even searched grandma and grandpa's library to see if they had any old atlases. Sadly, they didn't. I remember loving maps as [...]
Purse Lover
Samara loves my bag! Actually, even more than my bag, she loves what's inside of my bag, my wallet! And my change purse! In fact, I've busted her (multiple times) taking every single card out of my wallet (debit cards, driver's license, AAA card as well as various other membership affiliation cards) and attempting to unzip the change purse and eat the coins inside. Her purse and wallet obsession knows no bounds. She will scale any surface to get to her booty. I bought her own purse complete with fake debit card and wallet, but she wants nothing to do with it. She just wants mine. Is your kid obsessed with your bag too?
Ahoy Matey! Help Wanted: Pirates!
Ari loves to go to Playtime! where he gets to create art while I see great theater. I recently got an email from Kristina over at Sitter Studio letting me know about a new musical starring the Artist Sitters rom Sitter Studio! These are the same Artist Sitters that create art with Ari at Playtime! The show was called Help Wanted: Pirates! When I heard the title, I knew my kids would go bananas over it. Even Samara likes to dress up like a pirate at home! Help Wanted: Pirates! is an interactive kid's show that enlists the help of the audience members to become pirates! Ari and Samara were happy to get in on the action! Check it out: Help Wanted: Pirates! was written with children in mind. The show takes into account how active kids are, and how they need to move around often. The show fully engages the audience, kids and adults, and invites both into the exciting world of piracy and treasure seeking! Ari and Samara both had an awesome time at the show! If your little one loves to be a pirate, this is a ship he or she will love to join. So what [...]
Ari Got Into Pre-K, But My House is Still Dirty
Let me start out by saying that The Universal Pre-K process in New York City is totally insane. You apply online through the lovely Department of Education. You're allowed to select 12 choices for Pre-K and you aren't guaranteed a spot. Consequently I spent the months of April, May and part of June terrified that Ari wouldn't be going to school at all next year. Thankfully, I got an email a week ago from the D.O.E. notifying me that my 4-year-old did indeed have a free place to go play legos next year. But then it occurred to me that he still doesn't wipe his our butt when he goes to the bathroom, and I began to get nervous. I started thinking about next year even more, which is a really bad idea for me to do (the thinking part I mean) and I realized that my house is a disaster. I'm going to have to have play dates here next year. I have to find a way to clean it up. As of now, there is no set schedule around here with regard to daily activities and I'm kind of freaking out. But then I thought about it... And [...]
No! Ages 2,3, and Now
From the time Ari was able to shake his head back and forth he's been saying "no." But upon reflection, I've realized that "No" has meant something different at each age, starting at around two, and now verbally running rampant at four. Each year, "no" has increased with sophistication. Here's how "no" has evolved: Age 2: No! Meaning: I just figured out that I can disagree with you! Now I'm going to do it for fun, all the time! Age 3: No! Meaning: Don't tell me what to do, even though what you're saying makes perfect sense! I obviously have a better idea! Age 4: No! Meaning: Not only do I disagree with you, but I'm going to spend as much time as it takes to get you over to my side. You are clearly mistaken. Age 32 (Me) No! Meaning: I'm right, you're wrong! The end!
Rapture, Blister, Burn- Boyfriend Stealing, and Playtime!
On Sunday, my mom and I had the opportunity to see Rapture, Blister, Burn at Playwrights Horizons, while Ari got to go back to one of his favorite places, Playtime!* Ari was so excited to go to Playtime, he couldn't wait to get off the elevator at the theater. Once we got out of the elevator, he bolted for the Playtime desk to check in! After Ari got his VIP badge to enter Playtime, my mom and I headed to see Rapture, Blister, Burn. We entered the theater and we were very excited because we had orchestra seats! That was pretty awesome! This was our view of the stage, I felt like I could smell the actors! As soon as we sat down, I noticed a woman and her husband sitting together. We got to talking, and it turned out that this woman was none other than Digital Latina! She told me her daughter was also hanging out in Playtime with Ari. Ms. Digital Latina has a good eye, too. She spotted Broadway legend, Tyne Daly in the audience with us! Now about the show. Watching Rapture, Blister Burn was one of those theatrical experiences I've had where I literally [...]
My Achilles Heel
I often look at people on the subway or walking down the street and I think, they must have it easier than me. They can stop thinking. They don't have obsessive thoughts. They don't have anxiety, they don't deal with their heart racing most of the time. However, upon reflection, I realize that every person has their own achilles heel. Achilles, according to Greek Mythology, was dipped into the river Styx by his mother in an attempt to make him immortal. But when she dipped him into the water, she held him by his heel thereby making that part of his body vulnerable. Every person has their own vulnerability. My achilles heel is anxiety, panic, worry. I cannot stop thinking and worrying. Often, my brain makes me feel powerless. I cannot control my thoughts. Though everyone has their own weakness, their own achilles heel, people are trained by society to hide their vulnerabilities. If we were more open about what we struggle with as individuals, we would feel a little less alone. Our achilles heels make us who we are. By sharing our weaknesses we can learn from one another. I say we break this societal pattern of hiding vulnerabilities. [...]
My Children! My Africa! And Playtime!
Yesterday, my mom and I had the opportunity to see a play she's been dying to see for a while, My Children! My Africa* My Children! My Africa! was written By Athol Fugard in 1989, shortly before the end of apartheid in South Africa. While we were seeing the show, Ari got to go back to one of his favorite places, Playtime!. Playtime! offers childcare to kids ages 4-12 years of age while their parents go see a show! Click here if you want to learn more.As soon as the elevator doors opened at the third floor of the Playwrights Horizons theater, Ari ran out and greeted the lovely ladies from Sitter Studio with a giant wave. He then watched a bunch of kids board the elevator he was just on. Without even pausing for a second he completely abandoned me and my mom, and bolted for the elevator with the kids who were headed to Playtime! It was pretty hilarious."Wait!" said one of the ladies from Sitter Studio "Ari! You need a name tag!" We all laughed as Ari ran back from the elevator to get his name tag. After Ari went on his way to have fun, my [...]