My children are terrible sleepers. I don’t what it is, but they just don’t enjoy shutting their eyes and moving to dreamland. Maybe they feel as if they’re missing out on something terribly exciting. They’re not. I can assure them of that. Actually, I can’t assure either of them of that, because if I could, they would listen and go to sleep.
I have to say, one of the worst things that I’ve encountered as a parent, that goes into the category of unsolicited advice and comments, is the parents who tell me all about how wonderfully their children sleep.
This one goes out to you people, the ones with sleeping children. Here goes:
If I tell you that my four year-old can’t wind down and fall asleep at night, I do not want to hear about how your child slept through the night at three days old. What I want is for you to emphathize with my situation, tell me how hard it must be, and then maybe if I ask for it, or seem open to it, offer some practical advice about how I might get him to actually sleep.
Should I mention to you my 18 month old, who is teething and doesn’t want to be put down at night, my baby, who screams if I’m not holding her every second of every day, I don’t want to hear about how independent you kid is, and how he can entertain himself all day long while you run errands at Target. I want you to give me a hug, and tell me it’s a phase. Tell me she’s going to sleep some day in the future.
I don’t want you to tell me how awesome of a sleeper your child is. I don’t want you to tell me what I’m doing wrong. I don’t want you to be a judgmental asshole.
Get a hold of yourself. You’re probably A) Lying about your baby’s sleep habits or B) A narcissist who has no empathy or C) An alien.
Thank you. Now give me a hug and watch my kids so I can take a nap.
I apologize for any typos in this post, I’m sleep deprived and I’m not fixing them. SO THERE!