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My daughter Kellie is a really sweet kid. She is 17 and still a bit shy and insecure but really seems to be coming into her own. And she is really blossoming in terms of her appearance and the boys are starting to take notice. She is on the cheerleading squad and about a year ago a boy named Eric who is a star football player approached her after cheerleading practice. After chatting for a bit, he asked her out on a date. She was thrilled beyond belief! This would be her first date and she couldn't believe he even knew who she was. But then after a phone conversation or two, she didn't hear from him, and the days went by and he never followed up on the date that he had set. She was crushed, though not totally shocked, since her friends had warned her that he was a bit of a jerk. Then, to add insult to injury, she discovered he just started dating another girl named Natalie who is very pretty, popular and well, rather buxom too. Needless to say, fair or not, she was quite resentful toward Natalie and bitter over the whole situation. However, [...]

I am 10 years old. We are in a row boat, traveling across a man-made lake to the other side to do something that I'm terrified of:  jump off a cliff. The counselors seem to have little concern for what's to come. It's not a very high cliff, but to me it seems formidable. I'm scared. I can't do this. But everyone else is "doing this." I don't have a choice. It's what is happening. Together, the group of 10 year old girls along with our counselors climbed up the slippery wet path, carefully stepping on the jagged stones, making sure we didn't slip. It was a long way down after all. I anticipated what would happen once I reached the top. I knew what was coming. There was no other way off that cliff but to jump. I had no choice. Some of the girls who weren't great swimmers wore life jackets. I was in a higher swimming rank, so I didn't need to wear a vest. I stood waiting my turn in back of a girl with shiny long black hair. She bent her legs and jumped effortlessly into the air, her limbs flailed the entire way down [...]

Image courtesy of Tina Phillips / FreeDigitalPhotos.net When I first got Casey, my Westie, well-meaning friends would shake their head, cluck their tongue, and comment under their breath that I better watch out because, “Well...you know how Terriers can be.” No, I didn’t know and whatever they were referring to, they were obviously wrong because Casey was a dream dog. That is, until Bean came along, a half-Westie/half-Schnauzer who observed Casey’s behavior, and converted him overnight. When Huffington Post parenting blogger Sarah Fader wrote, "Three Year Olds Are A**Holes," it propagated my own awareness and I realized that dogs can be a**holes too. Those who have read my posts know that in addition to my two fur children, my husband and I also have three human children. I began to wonder about the root cause of the dogs’ behavioral problems. I read that a lack of discipline in dogs can lead to disrespectful behavior. At one point, Casey knew all of his commands, not only in English, but also in French (it was a phase I was going through) and sign language! In short, he was a furry honors student. But, just like the youngest of human children tends to [...]

My cats are geniuses. They've been holding their wisdom back from the rest of the world...until today. Carly and her step-child Home Slice are now giving relationship advice. Here are episodes 1-3.   If you have a question for Carly or Home Slice, you can write them through me: sarah@oldschoolnewschoolmom.com

My 3 1/2 year old daughter was really excited yesterday. We were going to the toy store to get her very own Legos. You see, she had become accustomed to being told that she couldn't play with her brother's Legos since they were for big kids. There was a great big Lego set that displayed a giant pink and purple house. Fine, I thought. This will be great. The age on the box said 4 and up, but surely with my help she would be able to build this beautiful Lego mansion. We got home and I opened the instruction booklet.   Upon seeing the several steps in the booklet and the variety of small confusing multi-colored shapes that were involved in the process, I began to get a little nervous. But I consoled myself that it was going to be okay. One step at a time, I told myself. I can do this. Step one didn't look so bad.   I got this. I'm going to keep going. Bring on the pink and purple Legos!   I was beginning to feel my IQ rise brick by purple brick.  I'm a genius! I could have gone to the Cornell University school [...]

I've been looking for a full time job lately, and it's not easy to find one. In some ways, being out of the job market for so long (taking time to raise my small children) makes me feel like a recent college graduate. I'm stepping into unknown territory. I have to rebuild connections with potential employers and re-learn how to network. I was lucky to connect with an old friend, David Perez, who introduced me to the "Everyday Connect" campaign by Fairfield Inn & Suites. The concept behind the Everyday Connect campaign is this: in an especially challenging job market, new grads are going to have develop strong personal connections in order to ignite and maintain momentum in their careers. Fairfield is launching a campaign that will go live on Tumblr. This will be the home for advice, statistics, and opportunities for graduates to hone their networking skills and stay connected to their mentors. I was particularly impressed with some of the advice from successful  entrepreneurs for 2014 college graduates entering the work force. These videos are less than one minute long and yet they contain useful advice for aspiring entrepreneurs. Check out what these savvy business men and women have to say. The [...]

I've spent the majority of my life thinking: I want to be normal. I want to wake up, have my coffee and breakfast, go to work, see friends, and do stuff that normal people do. Except, I don't do that. I spend a lot of time fighting with the thoughts in my head that tell me "you're doing that wrong," "you're a bad person," "you're not competent," "you're a flaky friend," "you're bad with money," "you can't keep a job" and a frequent thought is "you're not normal." These thoughts haunt me every single day, but the one that stands out is "you're not normal."  It almost immediately makes me cry. When that mean outside voice jumps into my brain and tells me "you're not normal," I want to put on some boxing gloves and clock it in the face, except that the voice has already sucker punched me by telling me those words. Today, I started to cry thinking about how "abnormal" I was. But I stopped myself. Wait, self! What is normal?  Those people, the ones that seem to do "have it all together," the ones that drink their coffee, perfectly manage their money, and keep jobs for 10 [...]

I love my kitten. I got her when she was four weeks old. Sometimes she falls asleep sitting up and it looks like she's meditating and it's adorable. She is adorable. Here is a picture of my kitten. Do you like kittens?

When I was a child, I would often go to the grocery store with my mom. I remember her feeding me snacks to keep me busy. Sure, it was semi-distracting to munch on some crackers or pretzels or whatever, but nothing could fully prepare me from what was coming. I sat in the giant metal grocery cart as we approached a stark white aisle. I closed my eyes, because I was afraid of what was going to happen next. All at once a gust of wind blew in my direction. I kept my eyes closed and I crossed my arms, holding my body to protect myself from sudden temperature drop. I wasn't prepared for this. I was only wearing a short sleeved tee-shirt. My teeth began to chatter and I was certain that if I opened my eyes, I would be surrounded by snow. The cold intensified and I had no choice but to put my arms inside of my shirt to preserve body heat. If I open my eyes, I'm sure there will be a penguin standing in front of me. I must be on an ice cap. I thought. With my eyes still closed I felt around for a box of [...]

I have lived with the memory of this childhood trauma for too long. It's time to speak about what I experienced. I know there are others out there who can testify to having a similar experience. I am not alone. We are never alone. It seems like it was only yesterday. I was sitting on the carpet of my room, as a seven-year-old with a friend of mine. We knew something terrible was about to happen but we felt powerless to stop it. The clock continued to tick loudly, one second at a time. All at once, it happened. We couldn't stop it. There was...an explosion. Shapes and colors everywhere in our faces. My heart jumped out of my chest. My friend and I both screamed in unison as a pentagon attacked my eyeball and a triangle hit her in the nostril. It was awful. Yet, we couldn't do a thing to stop the madness. There were half moons, circles and stars. As I watched the stars (in particular) fly through the air toward my mouth threatening to knock my teeth out (I was certain) I shook in terror. The game called itself "Perfection" but it was clearly not meant [...]

There are some things I can't write about in my life. So instead of talking about my life, I am going to put my energy, my feelings of being lost and my various emotions that I can't talk about here into a novel. I came to this decision in therapy today. I've been thinking and talking about mental health so much that I forgot first and foremost that I am a writer. What I want to do is tell stories. I am going to pour my guts and soul into this novel. That's the wonderful thing about writing fiction: freedom. I can say whatever I want because these are my characters and they are real to me. They are like actors in a play or better yet puppets that I can tell what to say. Writing is freeing. I want to be free. I have been trapped inside myself. Finally my voice will be heard. I am excited to start.

I'm at a crossroads. I have been primarily staying home with my children for six years. During that time, I have been a substitute teacher and have been freelance writing. I am now returning to the workplace full time, and it's terrifying. First of all, I don't have any "work clothes." The thing about working is that your clothes vary depending upon what kind of job you're doing. If I end up working in an office I have to buy fancier clothes than if I'm teaching Pre-K, for example. One thing that I love about job hunting is interviews. I know some people hate them, but to me they're so much fun. They feel like an acting audition. I get to convince the interviewer why I'm awesome. Another thing that occurred to me is that I have to remember how to talk to adults. I've been interacting with children for so long that I've actually forgotten how to speak to adults. One bad thing about adults is that you can't bribe adults to do something for you at work. One good thing about adults is that you don't have to remind them to keep their pants on. I'm having trouble remembering [...]

There were two knights: a red one and a blue one. They were engaged in a battle. The two enemies locked eyes. Their swords were up. Their metal armor was on from head to toe. Neither one of them was budging. They were each afraid to move. Neither one of the warriors wanted to put their swords down. So they stood there, knees slightly bent staring at one another. Neither one of them had eaten in hours. The red knight had some stale bread in his free hand. The hand that wasn't grasping the sword. The red knight was afraid to move. If he moved even an inch it might cost him his life. But something inside him told him to open his hand. So he listened to that voice. He opened his left hand (all the while keeping his sword firmly in his right hand) and revealed a hunk of old bread. The blue knight questioned this move. The two were starving. They stared at one another for a moment and then, without speaking, both men slowly put their swords down. Without a word, the red knight extended his left hand, which held the stale bread. The blue knight trembled [...]

I spent all afternoon learning this and I think it's paid off. Happy llama, sad llama Totally rad llama Super llama, drama llama Big fat mama llama Camel. Bad camel! Happy camel, sad camel Totally rad camel Super camel Drama camel Big fat mama camel. Moose Fish Turtle.

Today is Independence Day, or as I like to call it "in your face England" day! But I'd like to talk about what it means to feel independent. When I was 16 years old I was terrified of becoming an adult. To me, being an adult meant that you were completely "independent." You didn't rely on anyone for anything and you were responsible for yourself in every single way. When I thought about becoming a grownup in this black and white way, I started to panic. How can I do that? How will I take care of myself. I'll be all alone. I'm not strong enough to take care of me. At this thought my heart began to race and I was terrified to get any older than 18. Unfortunately, there isn't a way to freeze time, so I had no choice but to grow up, even though I dreaded it. Now that I'm 34 years old (and no longer a scared teenager) I have a different view of what being independent means. It doesn't mean you're all alone. In fact, to be truly independent, you accept the help of others, because you know who you are and what you are [...]