Biting Off More Than I Can Chew
I want to do everything all the time every day. That's not an exaggeration. I want to be all things to all people. You know what happens when you try to be everything to everyone? You end up pissing someone off. I am grateful to my dear friend JC Hannigan for reminding me that I cannot do everything, and that sometimes it's better for a friendship when friends do not work together. You see, JC and I were working together on a project and she fired me. But, it was the best thing she's ever done. She reminded me that she loved me, but we probably shouldn't work together on this project. You know what? That's okay. Sometimes, you have to take a step back and reevaluate your time and your priorities. JC told me to make a list of what's important to me and to do those things. That is what I'm going to do. When I'm overwhelmed, I tend to freeze. It's a side effect of anxiety. I don't know what to do first, so I don't do anything. Sticking my head in the sand only makes that overwhelmed feeling ten times more intense. In fact, I got so [...]
An Unlocked Memory
I sat in the empty hotel room. It was unpleasantly cold. I shifted my body trying to get comfortable. The room had one window, but it was covered by a blue polyester curtain. The curtain was glued to the glass square. If only I could lift the curtain. I would be able to see outside. My flight was leaving in an hour and the kids weren't ready. Only none of this is real. The only thing that was real was the feeling that there was a problem that I couldn't solve. There was no way to see past the barrier that had been self-imposed. I closed my eyes and felt the cool synthetic air penetrate my pores. My feet tingled. The air was electric. Breathing in and out. This moment is not real, but it feels so real. I began to shake. It was unbearably cold. It's not real, it's not real, it's not real. My whole body shook with fear until... I opened my eyes. Green grass and a bright yellow light greeted me. I couldn't help but smile. There was a wooden box with a shiny golden lock attached to it. A key lay in the dirt next to the [...]
Guest Post: Depression Expressed as Aggression and Destruction By K. Williams
A friend of mine recently told me about a dream he had, in which I we stood at the top of a tall building in New York City. He said that I told him I no longer wanted to live. He took my hand and said, “Let’s do this.” So we jumped. He survived the fall and woke from the dream. Sadly, depression can often lead to suicide, but there are signs along the way that could help us take notice of someone’s struggle with this disease. Many of the characters I write reflect aspects of myself, so I have no doubt that, when they are analyzed, they will show signs of anxiety and depression, and perhaps a bit of neuroticism, and a rage streak in a lot of cases. Writing is a cathartic exercise in which we as writers can express our innermost thoughts. To read a person’s writing is to read into their heads. It’s not a smear of the author across the page in all cases. The art of writing is far more complicated than that. The author has to make choices that are true to the manuscript and characters they create. In those choices, we can [...]
Guest Post: Gaggles, Goons, and Jocks: Bullying and the Reality of the Snub Club
Gaggles, Goons, and Jocks: Bullying and the Reality of the Snub Club By Cait Reynolds Let’s take a moment and set some things straight, just so we get off to the right start. Bullying has always existed. It always will. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t keep trying to teach children not to torment other children, at least not physically or overtly. What I am proposing, however, is a radical shift in the deployment of our resources. I say, forget trying to turn bullies into lambies. Focus instead on those who are being bullied. Give them the support and strength to survive what must be survived and to take valuable life lessons and skills from these experiences. What right do I have to talk about this or propose the abandonment of the treatment of bullies? Because I am a licensed, card-carrying, gold star member of the Snub Club. Oh, I can fit in just fine now. I can navigate almost any social circumstance and not only be fine, but come out raging on top. But, from my earliest days of childhood, I remember being tormented – for any variety of reasons. Shall we list them? I look different. With a [...]
Turn it Up
I turn the music up so I can feel something anything but I can't feel a thing The bass is pumping through my skin I want so badly to feel something nothing I turn it up louder nothing The pasty taste in my mouth distracts me from the fact that I still can't feel anything There's nothing there to feel I'm probably thirsty Maybe that's it I take a drink of water I still can't feel anything except the tightness is my stomach I'm tense because I can't feel a damn thing I smile faintly at the thought that not feeling causes me to feel something I start the song over and turn the volume up Maybe this time it will work I can hear the click clack of the keys on the keyboard Is anyone home in my brain? I know my body's there but, I feel nothing. Turn it up Louder I want to feel something anything.
Collide – Harlow’s World is Unleashed
JC Hannigan is my girl. She is an amazing writer and chronic pain survivor. I am so proud to be her Book Manager on the Collide Series. Collide is a student/teacher romance that is unique. 17-Year-Old Harlow Jones has a troubled past. She meets Iain Bentley, her English teacher, and there is an instant chemistry. Iain is conflicted about the connection. The two can't seem to stay away from one another. There is more to the story than the romance, there is crime, deception, and an array of colorful characters that have a real depth to them. Now, you have a chance to win a signed copy of Collide! COLLIDE (Book 1 of the Collide Series) by J.C. Hannigan is re-releasing with a brand new look! Title: Collide (Book 1 of the Collide Series) Author: J.C. Hannigan Genre: New Adult Romance Re-release Date: May 18th, 2015 About Collide: Harlow Jones has a troubled past, and a questionable future. Surrounded by death, tragedy, and intrigue, she is forced to mature long before her time. Plagued by anxiety and depression, she hides her inner turmoil with spite and sarcasm. Her thick skin is impenetrable…or so she thought. Until she becomes involved with [...]
Guest Post: Coffee Addiction By Katy Nicole
Let’s start this post the right way… I’m addicted to coffee. Have been for almost 10 years. Let me tell you about it. I started drinking coffee when I was in middle school. I know, that probably seems a little early. But honestly, what I was drinking was more like a Starbucks Frappuccino – it had so much creamer and caramel syrup that I could barely taste the coffee. My mom would make them for my sister to take to school and one day I said that I wanted to try them. So I was given my own and that was the beginning of my committed relationship with coffee. (Think Lorelai from Gilmore Girls) I mean, it’s 2:30 in the afternoon as I’m writing this, and I have a Starbucks drink sitting next to my laptop on my desk. The setup looks very much like this picture: Getting coffee is especially important when I’m heading to school for the day. Even more so because my first class is ASL (American Sign Language) level 4, and we’re not allowed to use our voices. So I have to be awake enough to focus on what’s being signed so I know what we’re [...]
Everyone Loves My Jewelry From Touchstone Crystal
Happy Mother's Day, everyone! I'm feeling fancy today, and I'm celebrating by wearing my favorite necklace. If you've seen me lately, I can be found sporting the same sparkly necklace with multi-colored beads. This necklace made by Touchstone Crystal has become the centerpiece to my wardrobe. I often get stopped by strangers on the street, who remark "I love your necklace." I thank them and tell them that I never want to take it off. That's why when my four-year-old daughter asked to try it on, I had to redirect her toward another accessory to wear. I let her wear a bracelet from Touchstone, which is also beautiful and purple, which is her second favorite color. When she's a little bit older, maybe I'll let her try on my favorite necklace, if she promises to be careful. For now, she can play dress up with the sparkly bracelet. When Touchstone Crystal sent me this package of jewelry to review, my friend Courtney was staying with me at the time. We saw that there were two bracelets included in the package, like the one my daughter is modeling above. There was a purple one and a light [...]
Mother’s Day Giveaway – Three-Year-Olds Are Assholes!
Mother's Day is coming up. What better gift to give that special woman in your life than Three-Year-Olds Are Assholes! Win a copy of the adult humor book, based on the viral article from HuffPost Parents. a Rafflecopter giveaway
Highway Holy Shit Revisited – Guest Post By Matthew Perkins
“What’s for dinner?” Insert any random meal at this juncture. “Ugh, really? I don’t want {insert random food from above}” This interaction happens at several junctures in life. The first is of course the blessed two’s and three’s. Those blissful years of sleeplessness, smattered with the anxiety that you are completely fucking this human’s life to shreds. The second time is when you’ve made the determination on whether they’re fucked or not. This glorious 48 months are called the tween/teens. Now, I don’t remember much of the two’s & three’s. Between the sleep deprivation brought about by their existence and the new-found alcoholism I was embarking on, those years are a bit of a blur. So I’m walking Highway Holy Shit for the first time. Before I get too far into this and you cast me as the part of complete douche-bag-non-existent-totally-fucking-horrible-father, I’m an incredibly involved parent. I love my kids more than life itself. Their existence is the reason I continue to have mine. But, my God they’re little fuckers. How is it that two children in a comfortable middle class, Midwestern home with every amenity known to man, every toy and tool at their disposal can be so [...]
Three-Year-Olds Are A**holes, The Book – GIVEAWAY
"After dealing with two 3-year-olds in my house, I can tell you from experience that they are undeniably the hardest humans on the face of the planet to negotiate with. The reason? They don't give a f*ck!" I wrote those words in February of 2014 after I had one of the most challenging parenting days with my 3-Year-Old daughter. The article went viral on HuffPost Parents with over 400,000 shares on Facebook. Thankfully, my girl is now four. But man, three-year-olds are tough. In fact, they are a**holes. I expanded the concept of how hard it is to deal with these little dudes into a book entitled...you guessed it: Three-Year-Olds Are A**holes. Published by the amazing Booktrope. The book tells the story of 3-year-old Samantha who is determined to make a rainbow, even if that means destroying mommy's iPhone and the house in the process. So, you want to win a copy of this hilarious book? Yeah, you do. Enter below to win a paperback version of Three-Year-Olds Are A**holes. A great gift for a baby shower! a Rafflecopter giveaway
Changes
Traveling always gives me perspective. My trip to L.A. showed me who I am and who I am capable of being. It is only me who holds me back from becoming the me I want to be. I'm ready to break free. I'm ready to rip away the barriers that have been preventing me from achieving great things. My journey has only just begun. Remember this: I will change the world. Watch me.
It Could Have Been
It Could Have Been There was a magical mountain. At the top of the mountain there was a golden house. It could've been mine. I laced up my boots and I got ready. I was ready to climb the mountain. I was ready to make it mine. I started down the road slowly surely, I knew my destination. I started at the base of the mountain. I stepped one foot in front of the other. I walked with intention. In my mind I imagined the golden house. As I struggled to climb, sweat filled my brow and dripped down my body. I ripped off my shirt and threw it to the ground. Each step I took began to hurt my body. I felt my breath become heavy like my eyelids. I pushed onward. The only thing that kept me going was the vision of the golden house. Soon, I would reach the golden house. Night began to fall. Darkness filled the mountain. I looked down but I couldn't see my feet. Still I kept on. I reached the apex of the mountain and my hand clutched at the rocks. I could barely hold on. Hold on. I need to hold [...]
I Put My Wings Away
Today my friend Hasty Words gave me the best compliment. She said she admired me for being openly vulnerable. I thought about that for a moment. I looked inside myself. She was right. I pour my heart out without thinking. It's who I am and I know it's who I will always be. I am a passionate person. I am a risk taker. I am Sarah Fader. Sarah Fader is a beautiful person. I'm not afraid to say that anymore. For years I lived in silence with my pain. For years I struggled with self-loathing. Now I know that though I have flaws they are beautiful. Now I am aware that it is my flaws that make me human. Now I am cognizant of how my flaws can help other people grow. We are not perfect. Perfection is a myth. Perfection should be buried with Oedipus, Antigone, Romeo and Juliet. I am insecure, I am needy, I am hysterically funny, I am socially awkward, I am a good friend, I cry a lot, and I am Sarah Fader. For the first time in 35 years I have a body that I want to remain in. For so long I wanted [...]
#ThankfulThursdays – Promoting Generosity in Social Media
This morning I was posting things on Facebook, as I do each day. As I posted the third link for people to look at all the awesome stuff I'm doing today, I started to feel gross. "Am I a narcissist?" I thought to myself. Self-promotion is rampant online. People are consistently posting links to their books, blog posts and projects. It's great to be proud of what we're doing with our lives, but I also want to have some space from what I'm doing. I want to shine a bright light onto the work of others. I have decided to implement #ThankfulThursdays On Thursday of each week, I encourage you to share the work of your friends online. Is your good friend doing something awesome? Are they changing the world in some way, shape or form? Share it! Share it all over the damn place. Perhaps your buddy wrote a hilarious blog post that you want the world to read. #ThankfulThursdays is your opportunity to share those words with your community. This day is about promoting the work of others. We love our friends, we honor their work, so let's show them. Let's be thankful on a Thursday. It doesn't [...]