I hate showering. There, I said it. When I have depression, getting into the shower feels like torture. I can practice all the behavior activation techniques, and use CBT skills, but I can’t seem to clean myself. Living with a mood disorder is a pain in the ass. You want to do things, but you [...]
Curiosity When I'm first getting to know a new friend, my curiosity is piqued. I want to know everything about them. I'm interested to hear their stories about childhood, where they grew up, their pets, their siblings, the relationship they had with their parents and how it was for them to be a child. I [...]
Trigger warning - self harm When I was a teenager I used to have repetitive thoughts about cutting my wrists. They were intrusive and they scared me but I never engaged in self harm. I do have many friends who have self harmed and they've explained why they engaged in this behavior. Self harm is [...]
My children (who are nine and six) know that I have anxiety and depression. They don't know those words, but I explain them in a child-friendly way when I am experiencing symptoms of each of those mental health issues. When I am anxious, I tell the kids "Mommy is feeling nervous right now. She needs [...]
I'm drowning. I feel the water in my lungs and I want to cough but I can't find a way to get the liquid out of my body. It's disgusting and terrible, but nothing matters anymore so I'll just let go and relent into the pain of now know when or how it'll happen. Maybe [...]
I forgot my password for life. I am quite obviously lost and there's not "forgot password" option. Consequently, I have to keep going without knowing which direction to turn and who to ask for help. That's totally unfair and there is no manager to call. I'd write a letter to the life corporate headquarters, except [...]
This is my blog. I know, no shit, right? If you're reading this (which I don't imagine there are many of you actually reading it but maybe that's not true) then, you already know that this is a blog written by me (Sarah Fader). I write a lot of things on here. Sometimes they are [...]
A friend of mine recently told me about a dream he had, in which I we stood at the top of a tall building in New York City. He said that I told him I no longer wanted to live. He took my hand and said, “Let’s do this.” So we jumped. He survived the [...]
