Today my friend Hasty Words gave me the best compliment. She said she admired me for being openly vulnerable. I thought about that for a moment. I looked inside myself. She was right. I pour my heart out without thinking. It’s who I am and I know it’s who I will always be.
I am a passionate person. I am a risk taker. I am Sarah Fader. Sarah Fader is a beautiful person. I’m not afraid to say that anymore. For years I lived in silence with my pain. For years I struggled with self-loathing. Now I know that though I have flaws they are beautiful. Now I am aware that it is my flaws that make me human. Now I am cognizant of how my flaws can help other people grow.
We are not perfect. Perfection is a myth. Perfection should be buried with Oedipus, Antigone, Romeo and Juliet.
I am insecure, I am needy, I am hysterically funny, I am socially awkward, I am a good friend, I cry a lot, and I am Sarah Fader. For the first time in 35 years I have a body that I want to remain in. For so long I wanted to fly away. Even thinking about flying away right now makes me want to cry.
My feet are on the ground and I put my wings away I don’t have them anymore. I’m walking in this life and I’m ready to take on the world because I am Sarah Fader. I know who I am and who I am is beautiful.
Who you are is beautiful.
I want you to know that flaws are beautiful like you.
Many people are afraid of me.
I used to not understand why.
Now I know.
it is because I am openly raw.
It is because I cannot be someone I am not.
Well you know what? Fuck them.
You can’t handle me then I’ll walk on.
Because I have many people who want to hold my hand and I don’t need somebody who’s afraid of me.
My hand is open like my heart.
I am waiting for the person who isn’t afraid to grab my hand and walk with me down the road.
I know he’s out there.
I know I’m out there.
I’m in this world to be loved.
I’m not afraid anymore.