I want to do everything all the time every day. That’s not an exaggeration. I want to be all things to all people. You know what happens when you try to be everything to everyone? You end up pissing someone off. I am grateful to my dear friend JC Hannigan for reminding me that I cannot do everything, and that sometimes it’s better for a friendship when friends do not work together. You see, JC and I were working together on a project and she fired me. But, it was the best thing she’s ever done. She reminded me that she loved me, but we probably shouldn’t work together on this project.
You know what? That’s okay. Sometimes, you have to take a step back and reevaluate your time and your priorities. JC told me to make a list of what’s important to me and to do those things. That is what I’m going to do.
When I’m overwhelmed, I tend to freeze. It’s a side effect of anxiety. I don’t know what to do first, so I don’t do anything. Sticking my head in the sand only makes that overwhelmed feeling ten times more intense. In fact, I got so overwhelmed by all the different projects I’m undertaking that I stopped writing. That is so unlike me. No matter what I have going on, I always find time to write. Writing makes me feel like a person. When I’m not writing, you can be assured that there is something wrong.
No matter what I’m feeling, words make me feel whole again. Seeing letters stuck together forming language on paper makes me feel like all is right in the world, even if it’s falling apart. It’s like exercising a muscle when I write.
My mind feels like scrambled eggs right now, but I’m still writing.
Thank you JC for reminding me that I don’t have to be everything to everyone. I have a responsibility to myself to do the best that I can. If I know that I’ve tried my hardest, then that’s what matters.