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So there we were, drawing on the floor, and enjoying the air conditioning on this unseasonably scorching day in April, when I noticed a strange lump in the drawing pad.I turned the page, and there it was, staring me in the face: an enormous mass of cat vomit."Aaa!" I screamed "That's disgusting!"Needless to say, this was not what I was expecting to find. I thought maybe there were some homeless crayons keeping warm in there. So, as you can imagine, I was in a state of pure shock.I am still recovering from this experience. Despite the fact that I threw away the evidence, drawing will not be the same again for a while.

If I could possess any superpower in the world, it would be to snap my fingers and have my house be clean immediately afterward. I believe this is because I hate working. I wouldn't call myself "lazy" per say, but I don't like doing something because I "have to" do it.I don't want everything done for me, just my house to be clean.

This weekend we went camping to celebrate Wil's 26th birthday.On the campgrounds, I met a man and his nine year old son. They were hiking the entire Appalachian trail. They started in Maine and made it down to the New Jersey/Pennsylvania border-- where we were staying. We got to talking and it turned out that he was homeschooling his son. Hiking the trail was part of his son's learning process.Ari quickly became obsessed with this little boy and followed him wherever he went.I understood why Ari was fascinated with this kid. He was down to earth, funny and so full of energy that he could not sit still. He was bouncing from tree to tree and cutting through sections of woods that intimidated me. He also gave us some Peanut M&Ms.The boy's dad said something that stuck in my mind."Do you have a television?" He asked"Yes.""Throw it out immediately.""Really?" I replied."When we travel and stay in hotels, my kids watch tons of TV, and at their friends houses too. But at home, we don't have one.""Why not?" I asked."It's so easy for the TV to become the parent." He replied.I thought about this and I understood what he was getting [...]

I'm sitting here on the couch, not quite sure what to do with myself because Ari is actually asleep in his own bed. Aunt Mint and Uncle Mike were desperate to get rid of Aunt Mint's childhood bunk beds. They're really nice beds, actually, made by This End Up furniture company. I would post a picture, but I'm not going to risk waking Ari up.Mike and I loaded the disassembled bunk beds into the Fadermobile and I transported them from Manhattan to Brooklyn. I might add that during this journey the trunk of the Fadermobile was half open and secured with bungee cord and an unofficial boy scout knot that Mike concocted.When I arrived in Brooklyn, Wil unloaded the Bunk Bed materials and went off to work. Then Mike arrived and began setting up the beds. Mint walked in the door just in time to be his assistant. All this happened right before Passover.By the time that the Passover festivities ended, Ari had consumed massive amounts of grape juice. He was ready to try out his new bed, but the last thing he wanted to do was sleep in it.That was Monday evening. Since that time, he's gotten used to [...]

There is no doubt that holding a full time job is hard work. However, it is just as hard (if not harder) to stay home with your child. Here are my top ten reasons why staying home is hard.10. Your "boss" refuses to let you take a sick day, ever.9. You are not allowed to take a bathroom break lasting more than 60 seconds and sometimes you are even accompanied by a "chaperone" when you use the facilities.8. Despite your efforts to please your "boss," sometimes your hard work is literally thrown on the floor.7. You are asked to do things beyond your job description, including drawing upside-down.6. Often the "boss" screams at you for no apparent reason.5. You are frequently interrupted mid-task to do something else.4. Sometimes your "boss" engages in bizarre behavior including standing on the coffee table andaccepts nothing less than a hostage negotiation tactic to be talked down from said coffee table.3. You are often not allowed to shower before work.2. Your "boss" does not like to negotiate or compromise.And the number one reason that staying home is hard:1. Coffee "break?" I don't think so!

In the past week or so, Ari has discovered how to unzip his pajamas. He can't do it all the way, but the fact that he has this skill at all thrills him.Today he unzipped my hoody a thousand times. Then I had an idea. I remembered this cloth book I bought for him a while back. Usually, I don't buy books in the store, I get them at stoop sales or as hand-me-downs, but this book was too cool to pass up.It's called: Button Nose.Each page provides a different clothing assembly skill to practice including: buttons, snaps, zippers and laces.I pointed Ari in the direction of the zipper page.To make this task even more fun, I put my keys inside of the zippered pocket. Then he was determined to get them out.And then he succeeded.For more information on Button Nose, click the button picture below:

I worked every single day this week and I am utterly exhausted. I'm lying on the couch and Ari is watching Blue's Clues while playing with my toe nail. Now he's trying to stand on his head.I don't understand how moms who work full-time do it. The couch is my only friend at this moment in time. I won't be leaving it for some time.The problem is this, Ari doesn't care that I'm exhausted. He wants to draw, run around like a maniac, chase the cats and be a toddler. I drew with him earlier, but once I sat on the couch, it was over.I'm really having trouble forming a coherent thought and the idea of speaking in real sentences scares me. I blame these symptoms on standing on my feet for 8 hours straight for four days.Ari just gave me a hug. Then he said:"Mama?""Yes?" I replied"Where's daddy?"My head just fell off.What do I do when my kid wants to run around and act insane, but I have no energy to run after him?

As I was perusing the aisles of Costco , I took a look around me to see what others were buying. It turns out that there are people who purchase the same household items that I do.It occurred to me that (based upon our similar taste in Glad trash bags and Scotch Brite sponges) we could be potentially compatible friends.I've said many times how hard it is to make mom friends, so I propose this:a mom friend matching service based upon the contents of your Costco shopping cart.Think of it:--You have your virtual shopping filled with Eco-Friendly dish soap, paper towels and cat litter.--You get an email stating that a "potential match has been found!" the mom in question has those items and 120 capsules of fish oil as well as the Kirkland brand diapers.Well, you may have found yourself a new friend! You already have so much in common. I mean, who doesn't love cat litter?So, what do you have in your Costco cart? Are we a match?

Yesterday began with an argument about the night shift. I asked Wil if there was any way he could change his shift. We got into an enormous fight. I yelled "I hate you! You have no heart!" while holding Ari in my arms and slammed the bedroom door on him while he was going back to sleep.The night shift continues to cause an enormous level of stress on everyone in the house. I feel like I'm a single mom most of the time. Whenever Wil is here, he's either sleeping or getting ready for work.Am I proud of the fact that I screamed at him? No. But I reached my frustration threshold. I wanted him to change his shift, he said there was nothing he could do and to "stop asking him." This made me angry so I snapped.As much as I would like to think that I always do the right thing, I know that's not the case. I'm human and sometimes I loose it.It was touch and go there for a while. It all ended with apologies and hugs.

I want to talk about oatmeal. Ari loves oatmeal. He is the pickiest eater in the entire universe, but there is one thing that he will always eat: oatmeal.I don't know what it is about oatmeal, but I also love it. Maybe it's the B vitamins in it that make me happy, or the butter and milk I add to it to make it pleasantly salty, but it hits the spot in the morning.It doesn't have to be a particular brand, in fact, our oatmeal comes from an anonymous Ziploc bag.And look what happens when you take the anonymous Ziploc bag away:Oatmeal, in this house we appreciate you. Keep being you.

I'm attempting to set boundaries for Ari but it is so hard! He sees me eating a cookie, and he wants a cookie! He's got his debate down to a science. He says:"Cookie?"And then I say:"Okay, one cookie.""Y cookie." He confirms. "Y" meaning "one." In case you don't speak "Ari-ese."After scarfing down "y" cookie, he says:"Cookie?"And then I say:"You just had one cookie. That's it!"His response:"One cookie?" He looks at me with pleading eyes.This kid is good.