Thank You Ninjas
Canadian Sarah Carmichael is a ninja. But not the kind that secretly fights crime. She is a Thank You Ninja. Her mission: to secretly thank the world one postcard at a time. More than a decade ago, Sarah sent a postcard thanking someone anonymously for a good deed they'd done. After she sent that note, something curious happened. Here's more on that from Sarah: "I just wanted to quietly make someone's day. In the beginning, all the recipients were completely random strangers whose names and addresses I found on the online phone directory. A few months ago, I decided to share my mission with the world - that's when it was named Thank You Ninjas. Sarah has formed a movement. People are anonymously thanking one another for good deeds across Canada and the United States. She's assigned different folks to become Thank You Ninjas in Toronto, New York City, Vancouver and Wichita and that's just to name a few! Anyone can become a Thank You Ninja. All you have to do is start secretly thanking people. There is even secret ninja gear. Sarah never imagined that when she sent that postcard 10 years old, her life would never be the same. [...]
Stigma Fighters: Laura E.
My first suicidal plan occurred in college when I was a freshman. I’d had a break up, self-medicated with alcohol for 1 ½ semesters, done poorly in my classes, and felt like a complete failure. I wanted to jump out the window of my dorm room. At least by ending my life, my roommate would get an automatic 4.0 for the semester, and that was the least I could do for her. She was my best friend. But something in me steered my actions to do otherwise. I called a random minister I picked in the phone book from the dorm lobby payphone. I told him what I was contemplating, and he prayed for me. This was before caller ID, so he had no personal information about me. I hung up when he asked me for my name. I succeeded academically and emotionally for the remainder of college. Sometimes, I couldn’t get out of bed. I blamed those times on exhaustion. I met my boyfriend (now husband). We were engaged during our junior year, graduated together, and got married. I got a job in a school district 12 hours from our hometown. So we moved. We had a baby. Then [...]
Stigma Fighters: Living With Anxiety
The first memory I have of that knot of anxiety in my stomach was in bed on a school night at about nine years old. I lay awake wondering why I felt so scared but I couldn't be sure, was it because we had sports tomorrow? Was it because I had homework due in? But that feeling would be there the next day and the next. Life would change around that feeling; but it would always be hanging over me to make every day life that little bit harder. As you grow up life gets more complicated and trying to mask and integrate that anxiety into an ever changing mould is hard hard work. It never really fits neatly in. And nobody seems to quite understand it, in fact it tends aggravate people after a while. It makes you realise that the people who accept you are incredibly precious. I have a few friends who have walked this journey with me without judgement and with acceptance but I lost many people along the way who just could not handle the intensity of my emotions. I cannot simply brush something off, my mind clings to any perceived negative and analyses and [...]
Chirlane McCray is a Real Mother
The New York Post calls Chirlane McCray a bad mother. The article goes into detail about how McCray felt overwhelmed by parenthood and looked for reasons to get out of the house and do other things besides be a mother. Am I missing something here? To me this sounds like a parent trying to adjust to the new role of motherhood. Having an infant is hard. No one can be on call 24 hours a day seven days a week. As parents we need to take breaks. What McCray is articulating is universal. We all love our babies, but without taking a break you will lose your mind. What McCray is saying is: I had a difficult time adjusting to motherhood . That's what I take from the New York Magazine article. To that I say, you are brave for admitting that. Not every parent will say those words aloud so kudos to you for your candidness Chirlane McCray. Making a judgment about the kind of parent McCray is (to me) is offensive as the Mayor de Blasio says. I agree with him. We cannot judge another person's parenting without knowing them. McCray is not a bad mother, she is a real mother. I was [...]
Stigma Fighters: Jason S.
I am going to start my story with a confession. I really, really don't like the word 'stigma', I don't even like to use it as 'ignorance' fits much better. I'll never attack anyone for using the s-word because we all tend to be ignorant to things until we experience them ourselves. I was ignorant of mental health issues for years, especially when I was suffering badly from it. The only time my ignorance lifted was when I started to get help. Back in January 2013 I was medically diagnosed as having depression. Confirming something I had believed for years but had never been brave enough to actually seek help for it. Consequentially from receiving professional help I uncovered that I suffer from episodes anxiety and paranoia. All these things are connected for me. Where did they come from? I've given up trying to work that one out as I doubt it will benefit me or anyone else. My depression was definitely the biggest of my mental health issues as it has been with me for around 25 years. Frankly by now, I'd have thought it would have had enough of me and left me but it seems that is [...]
Stigma Fighters: Jeff E.
I looked out my room’s window, taking in the winter scene that filled my soul, since I love the snowy season. I saw the all-too familiar streets I had grown up in, the tattoo shop where I got my first permanent ink, and the skyscrapers that made my heart feel warm. I was in the psych ward, and the reality sank in that I didn’t know when I’d be free again. I was locked in, having committed myself with my wife’s agreement to avoid a second suicide attempt in early 2013. I was researching ways to end it, and laying on the railroad tracks was quickly becoming the method of choice, though I hadn’t yet worked up the courage to have a train run over me, and the horror of what it would do to my family kept me from actually doing it as well, I admit. My brother Ryan killed himself nearly 5 years earlier. This would kill my Dad, my hero. Just as importantly, it would devastate my wife, the angel who had stood by me through so much shit over the last few years. No – she deserved better. I still wanted to die, though. Thinking of the train [...]
Stigma Fighters: Bradley S.
Growing up I was a miserable kid. I didn’t think anyone liked me and it made me feel like I lived in a bubble, not able to fit in. I felt isolated. Alone. That bubble is still with me today. Fortunately I don’t live in it anymore, but it still engulfs me now and then. Having bipolar disorder, I believe it will always be there, hanging out in my back pocket, waiting to make me feel alone and sad. When I reached high school my brain wouldn’t stop telling me I was no good. I sought solace in alcohol. A lot of alcohol. I went to a lot of parties, yet I felt snubbed. I was certain that friends were having parties and weren’t telling me. I knew no one liked me. When I ran for senior class president, I ran against two of the popular kids, and I won, yet I was still certain nobody liked me. Most of the time I felt depressed, but had moments of erratic behavior as well. A few times I walked around the neighborhood naked in the middle of the night. Other times I’d open my bedroom window that had a bee hive [...]
Stigma Fighters: Kayla D.
My entire life I have been living with mental illness. For most of my life I wasn't aware. I just thought what I was feeling was "normal" day to day life for everyone. I had a great home life. My parents divorced when I was quite young, however, both met new partners. I had two families and I should have been on top of the world. My entire childhood and adolescence, I remember being sad. I always had a hard time getting through the day without constantly focusing on negative thoughts, feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere, and feeling like no one liked me. I don't recall how old I was when I figured out I was "different" from my peers, but eventually I did. Eventually I figured out that most of them didn't feel like they were inadequate, or at least not to the degree I felt it. They didn't feel like they were the fattest and ugliest. They didn’t suffer from extreme self-loathing, no matter what accomplishments they made. Not to say that people who don't suffer from mental illness don’t occasionally have moments where they feel this way. I know a lot of people sometimes feel like [...]
Stigma Fighters: Linda R.
I’m the “artsy” one in my family; the black sheep. Translated, that means I’m the moody one. Or at least I always thought that was the reason for my dark moods growing up. To some extent that’s true. That sensitivity, thing - whatever it is, that makes us turn inside ourselves and feel things more deeply than most people, to experience emotions from a more raw perspective. That’s the very thing that motivates so many creative people to write, perform, seek out love and approval, or make music. The thing is, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel that way. Of course there were moments of sheer joy and happiness, but when the darkness set in, it took up residency - valuable real estate in my head - and it didn’t pay rent. Over and over again, I was the one who paid the price. It manifested itself in the form of anger, impatience, and deep sadness. The pattern repeated itself so many times costing me relationships and causing a whole lot of drama. I sought treatment, but psychiatrists just shrugged and told me what I was going through was nothing the average person doesn’t experience. But I [...]
Stigma Fighters: Kimberly M.
I am not ashamed of my illness. I have bipolar disorder and you have a bad case of acne. Who cares right? Unfortunately, for some people, someone who has a mental illness is more than just that. To them, we are the myriad of distorted perceptions that are wrongly associated with our illnesses; crazy, psycho, deranged. These derogatory labels allows for society to strip us of our individuality. We are no longer Jane’s and John’s. We are bipolars and schizophrenics. Lunatics. Nuts. Insane. It is because of this that I have an overwhelming fear of what will happen if my new friends find out that I have bipolar disorder; the moms of my son’s classmates. Like I said, I am not ashamed of my illness but I worry that my diagnosis would impact the new relationships that my son has made in a very negative way. I knew that I loved her when she said “What the f*ck?” under her breath as she saw her daughter launch her backpack into a mud puddle. She heard me giggle and she quickly turned around to apologize. “No worries,” I said and then introduced myself. Every day we met each other at the [...]
Stigma Fighters: Kristina S.
There is still a lot of mystery about my own life that it seems a bit odd to be writing about it, which is sad, I should know everything about my own life. It is mine after all. What I do know is that when I was very young, my biological dad left. The only explanation that I was ever given was that it was not safe for me to be a part of his family. So, I wasn't. My family history is a massive web and is too much to go into in this post, so I won't. To keep it short and simple; my family is fucked up. My Mom remarried when I was 3 years old. She had 2 more kids with him and is still married to him, 25 years later, despite the negative impact he has had on my life. I can't say exactly how old I was the first time. All I can remember is that it was at a time when one of my uncles moved into the spare room at our house. I would say I was, maybe, 9-10 years old. I had slept on the couch that night and was woken [...]
Ari and I Featured on WPIX Talking About Bronies
I had the opportunity to speak about Ari's love for My Little Pony on WPIX. They did a segment on bronies and interviewed me. Check it out below! They also reference a famous brony website Equestria Daily.
Stigma Fighters: Joy H.
Truths and Stigmas Today I'm straying from my normal happy, silly self I present on Evil Joy Speaks. I'm honored to be writing a post as part of Stigma Fighters. I know many of you know my story, some or all of it. Many may not. If this message can help just one person, it's worth my sharing such an intimate part of me. I worry constantly. It can be debilitating at times. It causes me to be physically ill other times. And many times it takes the joy from my life. I don't want to be this way. I take medication. I see a therapist WEEKLY. I work hard. I frequently avoid questions about where I am on Tuesdays. "I have an appointment." With my therapist. Every Tuesday. For the last two years. Why do I feel the need to be vague, even to those closest to me? Stigma. There is stigma with needing mental health care. WHY?!?! I'm diabetic. I take medication to manage my diabetes. Why should I not manage my mental health in the same open way? Because I WORRY about the judgement. I worry people will think I'm a terrible person. Not a good mom. [...]
What’s Wrong With EVERY Astrological Sign- The Male Version
I'm super into astrology. If we're friends, I know your sign and I've probably done your chart (if you've allowed me to) and told you all about yourself. Now I'm here to tell you what is wrong with every astrological sign...in men. Whether you're a Cancer or an Aries, you've undoubtedly pissed someone off with your bullshit. So here goes: Aries: Aries men are incredibly cocky. They are usually pretty manly and their testosterone is evident. I'm an Aries, look at my chest hair! Unfortunately, they have zero filter and say whatever the fuck comes into their heads at all times. Taurus: Taurus men are so incredibly fucking stubborn that they could be looking at a blue car and insist that it is purple. Gemini: Gemini men are the flakiest people you will ever meet. DO NOT make plans with them. Cancer: Cancer men are sweet but moody as fuck. Leo: Don't even get me started on Leo men. Does the sun revolve around you? Also possibly the Milky Way? Virgo: A Virgo man will point out all the typos in your email and then want to have sex afterwards because he thinks he did something awesome. Nope. Libra: Dude, [...]
Stigma Fighters: Dyane H.
Stigma from the Source by Dyane Leshin-Harwood "Stigma = a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation." I was diagnosed with postpartum bipolar disorder in 2007, seven weeks after the birth of my daughter Rilla. I was thirty-seven when I admitted myself into our local hospital’s locked-down mental health unit. While there, a psychiatrist met with me and within two minutes he informed me that I had bipolar disorder. Everything changed. I called my father on the unit's pay phone. We were very close, and I loved him with all my heart. My Dad also had bipolar disorder, and while growing up I never dreamed that he and I would share the same mental illness. He cried when I told him the news. I was manic, and while I was frightened to be in such a sterile, intimidating unit, I took Dad's sorrow in stride. I'd fall apart in agony later on. My father only lived a few years after my first hospitalization. During that time he never judged me for having bipolar disorder. If he had made a disparaging remark, he would have been a hypocrite, but parents with bipolar have been known [...]