I’m super into astrology. If we’re friends, I know your sign and I’ve probably done your chart (if you’ve allowed me to) and told you all about yourself. Now I’m here to tell you what is wrong with every astrological sign…in men. Whether you’re a Cancer or an Aries, you’ve undoubtedly pissed someone off with your bullshit. So here goes:

Aries: Aries men are incredibly cocky. They are usually pretty manly and their testosterone is evident. I’m an Aries, look at my chest hair! Unfortunately, they have zero filter and say whatever the fuck comes into their heads at all times.

Taurus: Taurus men are so incredibly fucking stubborn that they could be looking at a blue car and insist that it is purple.

Gemini: Gemini men are the flakiest people you will ever meet. DO NOT make plans with them.

Cancer: Cancer men are sweet but moody as fuck.

Leo: Don’t even get me started on Leo men. Does the sun revolve around you? Also possibly the Milky Way?

Virgo: A Virgo man will point out all the typos in your email and then want to have sex afterwards because he thinks he did something awesome. Nope.

Libra: Dude, I’m a Libra myself. But seriously, Libra men, can you please stop flirting with EVERYONE?

Scorpio: I JUST WENT TO THE BATHROOM! STOP BEING SO JEALOUS! And no, I don’t want to have sex again.

Sagittarius: You’re so AMAZING! Wait, where did you go? Did you lose my number?

Capricorn: BORING!

Aquarius: You’re quirky as fuck! In a great way! Whoa whoa whoa! Why are you so moody?

Pisces: I don’t want to argue about that. Nope, I’m not trying to personally offend you. It’s not that serious.

There you have it. The female version of “what’s wrong with every astro sign” is coming soon!