Ari’s New Friend Who Doesn’t Speak English
Ari has a new friend at school. His Pre-K teacher told me about him. Apparently they play in Magnatiles together all the time. When he comes home from school, Ari talks about his friend. I asked Ari's teacher if I could contact Ari's new friend's mom."Oh that would be great, but just a heads up, she doesn't speak very much English."I knew Ari's friend's name, but I didn't know what nationality he was. Mint and I looked online and we determined that his name was Chinese.I looked on the class contact sheet. The email address from Ari's new friend's mom was at a Chinese website. I emailed her.I didn't hear back...So I called her."Hi Ellen (fake name) my son Ari is in your son Billy's (fake name) class. Ms W. says they play together in Magnatiles. I was wondering if you wanted to have a play date.""Oh...yes. Sorry, I don't speak so much English." Said Ellen with a nervous giggle."That's okay, what language do you speak?""Cantonese." She said."Oh, well then I'll have to learn Cantonese then."We laughed."Do you want to meet after school and go to the playground?""Is this with other classmates?" Asked Ellen."No, no, it's just me, you, Billy, [...]
Stream of Consciousness
I'm gassy. I love coffee. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands. I'm clenching my jaw. It's my dad's birthday and I'm nervous. It's raining and I have to go outside and exercise. I can't believe Samara escaped on the playground yesterday. Everyone there must have thought I was a terrible parent. My heart is so open it scares me sometimes, I love my friends though. I also love cats. Sometimes I feel like I'm too hard on Samara. She's only 22 months. I will be sad if no one reads this. Are you reading this? I'm an attention whore. Good thing I'mnot a regular whore. I wonder where the word whore came from. I need to get a shell necklace to protect my open heart. I am eccentric. It's so hard to give up dairy, because I love cheese.
Hold The Door For Me
I know you're having a busy day, stranger that is staring at me while I attempt to open a giant heavy metal door. You don't seem that busy to me. You're reading The New York Times and drinking a seemingly delicious cup of joe, but do you think that you could pause your hectic life just long enough to assist me with opening the door? It would really make my day. No? You're a fucking asshole.Hello, yes, I need help lifting this stroller down the subway stairs. It's really hard, and my neck and back are bothering me. I don't want to have to ask for help. I will ask the next available strong looking man that passes by to help me take the enormous stroller down the stairs.I don't think I should have to ask him though. I wish I lived in a place where people were more aware of one another and had empathy.Chivalry is dead. But so is empathy apparently.I just want someone to hold the door for me, even if it's the fucking elevator door. But a "real" door would be great too. Sometimes, I can't hold my bag, the stroller and a water bottle and [...]
My 33rd Birthday, The Y, Kung Fu, The Chocolate Room, and Roy
I turned 33 yesterday, October 17th 2012. It was epic. I started the day by working out at the Y with my awesome friend Bonnie. Then my parents took me out to The Chocolate Room where I had a brownie sundae. After that, my soul brother Roy came down from Westchester and taught Ari and I some Kung Fu on the playground.Check it: It was awesome. Moms were watching us learn Kung Fu and they were transfixed by what they saw. Then random children started doing Kung Fu moves along side us.Word.After our Kung Fu playground adventure, we talked about the apocalypse that may or may not happen, among other topics. Ari ate a lollipop on the way home, and refused to walk, but Roy convinced him to move onward.We got back to my place, and my parents, Roy, Wil, Samara and Ari and I ordered pizza and talked about the 5th grade opera, the Obama Romney debate, Degrassi The Next Generation, and why Wil refuses to watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer, the TV series.Year 33 started out with a bang, and a Kung Fu kick. Let's make this a year to remember.
Empathy and Amanda Todd
After I watched the video of Amanda Todd spilling her soul about being horrifically bullied I had a thought.Here's the video in case you haven't seen it: The story is tragic. Here's a beautiful young girl who made a mistake; revealing her breasts over the internet. Consequently, she's punished over and over again. She's tortured and bullied to the point where she takes her own life.In itself, this is a horrific tale. But what makes it far worse, as my friend Justin pointed out to me, is the comments that are being made on the tribute pages.People are saying things like "I'm glad she's dead."Amanda Todd was a girl, she was a daughter, she was a friend, and (most importantly) she was a human being. She was not a serial killer. She doesn't deserve to have this malicious backlash of comments about her after she is dead.The problem here is our troubled society. Our children are lacking empathy. I'm not sure how that happened, but it needs to be fixed immediately.Empathy is an integral skill that should be taught to every human being.What we should be thinking and writing on these pages, is "how sad," "rest in peace," "a life [...]
Heated Arguments on Facebook Are Hilarious
The other day I got a message from my friend Debbie on Facebook. Debbie was upset when she called me. She had been the victim of something that most of us in the 21st century have found ourselves involved in, a Facebook argument. You might not even know that you're entering into one; you may just be innocently expressing your opinion on a post. But all of a sudden...someone is viciously attacking you because you like the color green and listen to Jazz music. Why is this person so angry? I don't know, and neither do you. But they have chosen to let you know (via the internet) that you are totally wrong and even go so far as to attack your character. All of this is done virtually yet they somehow have managed to get your blood to boil. It's pretty remarkable actually. Unfortunately, Debbie got caught in the crossfire of one of these atrocities. I'm sorry Debbie, I have been there, and it is an awful place to be. Debbie and I chose to mock the situation. We created the ultimate Facbook argument. My friend Jess suggested that I document this masterpiece on my blog. I think she [...]
Hello Jessica Alba! I Love Your Diapers!
I was futzing around on Facebook the other day, when I noticed that my friend Claire liked "The Honest Company." I thought to myself, I wonder what that is. It turns out that The Honest Company is an organic baby and house product company.Then I noticed that they had a free trial! So I sent away for the diaper bundle trial and the essentials trial. I just paid shipping (it was like five bucks or so) and I got a lovely surprise in the mail. Check it out:<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/S0Ufjh22B30?fs=1" width="480"></iframe>So far, I've tried the diapers and they're awesome. Thank you Jessica Alba! I'll report back on the household supplies and toiletries.
A Thrown Out Coffee Turns into a 5th Grade Opera
I rushed to school to make it to my sub job. It was my first day at this particular school, and I didn't want to be late. I hurriedly dropped Ari off at Pre-K and headed to the main office of the school where I would be subbing.I realized, when I got to the office, that I hadn't brought my sub license. The secretary was nice enough to let me print my license off of my gmail on her computer.Unfortunately, the Assistant Principal walked in as I was behind the secretary's desk and whispered to the secretary:"What's going on here?""Oh she's just printing her license."The A.P. nodded skeptically."The day starts at 8:00 so hurry up and punch in." The secretary urged me. It was 8:10. Uh oh."You know what, I'll punch you in, don't worry about it." She said with a wink.I grabbed my coffee that I had hurriedly bought from the bodega on the corner while running to school, and headed to the auditorium with my schedule. I peered at the white paper which listed eight different classes I'd be covering that day.All at once, the A.P approached me. She shook her head and pointed to the coffee:"The coffee." [...]
RIF – Reading is Fundamental Loses Funding
I went to the library today with Samara. When we got there I got some really sad news. Our library branch no longer has the Reading is Fundamental program. Apparently, a decision was made that our branch didn't need the RIF program. We didn't use it enough.I am so very disappointed that this program is no longer at our library. My children looked forward to receiving their free books every third time they checked into RIF. Now they can't do that anymore.We need to take a stand. Watch this video to learn what you can do: Go to www.rif.org/advocate to learn more.Click here if you don't feel like cutting and pasting.
Keys
It's a momentous day.A boy waits for this.My boy is very excited to have this.He can do something new.Something that requires a click.Something that requires a turn.It's blue.This new thing that he has.Look what he can do!
The Night Donna and I Ate Waffles in The Village and Were Held Up With a Super Soaker
I wrote a post about the night that Donna and I went to see The Best of Everything. But I couldn't tell the whole story there, it was just too surreal. The entire story of what happened to us on that fateful night needed to be a separate post.This is what occurred on Friday October 5th 2012.Donna Archer Cervelli and I met at the Spring Street train station. I called her on her cell phone, because I initially didn't see her.She answered."Turn around!" She said.There she was. My first thought was "Fish Tacos." But it didn't make any sense so I didn't say anything. But the first thing Donna said was:"Let's get tacos!"?????We were clearly communicating on a telepathic level.Donna and I searched Spring Street frantically trying to find a place that sold tacos. But there wasn't one.So we settled on a pizza place. None of the ordinary pizza slices looked appetizing so we chose an artichoke white pizza for both of us. It tasted more like artichoke dip on bread, but that was okay; it was somehow satisfying, although we didn't eat the crust.After the pizza, we saw the play, it was grand.When the play was through, we found [...]
I’m Afraid of…
I'm afraid of death. I'm afraid of it for the obvious reason, not being around any more, but I'm alsoafraid of it because I can't conceive of not exisiting. Whenever I think about death I can't wrap my head around the fact that one day I won't be thinking.It's weird.Also, I feel like thinking about death makes me feel anxious to accomplish so much in life. I never thought about making a "bucket list" before, but I can understand why people might do that. There's so much I want to accomplish in this life, but I only have a finite amount if time.I'm not good at time management.I admire people who are good at understanding and managing time. Time is abstract to me. It's not concrete.I need an Excel spreadsheet for my life goals.Become a published author, check! Travel to India, done! Learn to dance, accomplished!It seems like a great way to keep track of it all. Next thing to do would be to hire a life assistant to make sure I'm accomplishing my goals. Life assistant sounds bizarre; life project manager is better.On that note I'm going to take a nap.
The Best of Everything
I've been feeling burnt out recently, and in desperate need of hang out time without children involved.The other day I got an email from my friend Holly Rosen Fink about a play she was the Associate Producer on, The Best of Everything.In the email she mentioned that this would be an awesome play for a "girl's night out." When I saw that, I knew exactly who I wanted to take with me; my soul sister, Donna. We're both air signs; I'm a Libra and she's a Gemini and together we make no sense and perfect sense at the same time. Tacos!Donna and I planned to go see The Best of Everything, and then find the Waffels and Dinges food truck after the play to score some Belgian waffles with ice cream.We met at the Spring Street train station, found the Here Arts Center and settled into the front row to watch the show.The Best of Everything takes place in the 1950's. The setting - a publishing house filled with young secretaries, many of whom are preoccupied with getting married. The main character, Caroline, is an aspiring editor. A graduate of Radcliffe, Caroline longs to bypass the mundane day to day dealings [...]
Chemical Pregnancy
The mistake I made was that I got excited.***It was five days before my period, and I began to feel nauseated. I was emotional. I cried harder than usual at The Maggie Gyllenhaal movie. Something didn't feel right.I took a pregnancy test.It was negative.A couple of days went by...I continued to feel sad, sadder than usual.I took another pregnancy test.It was negative.I missed my period that same day I went to Sleep Therapy Yoga. I told Nick that I knew I was pregnant. I took another pregnancy test. It was positive. "99 percent accurate," it said.Early results as soon as five days before your missed period. I had missed my period.I text the picture to my best friend.She said ''Well then."I told Wil."I don't want to get excited until you see a doctor." He said."I don't need to see a doctor to get a excited." I argued.I told people.I told my parents.I told my brother.I got excited. Some were concerned others were excited. I welcomed it all in like a sponge.There was a question mark in my mind.My friend Liz brought over an extra test. I took it. It was negative.My best friend came over and she brought me another [...]
Nick Atlas and Yoga Sleep Therapy
I was 10 years old. I remember sitting in Hebrew school class furiously sketching a poster. I was working on the detail of a Pepsi can, hoping he would notice my artwork, hoping that I could decode what was going on in his mind. He was enigmatic. I couldn't figure him out. He was tall and skinny with black eyes that seemed to see through you. He loved kickball. I was clumsy. I was quiet, but I loved art. I lived through writing and colored pencils. I was shy, he wasn't. Even though he was seemingly outgoing, there was something underneath the surface that I couldn't get to. He wasn't giving it up. I was afraid to scratch it, but I was curious to know what was there.His name was Nick Atlas.After elementary school, we went our separate ways, him to a private school and me to a public arts high school.Life is funny, and so is the internet. We connected 22 years later through Facebook. He was no longer a jock, but had transformed into a yoga teacher.We talked online, and Nick told me he was going to be teaching a sleep therapy yoga workshop in New York. I [...]