I Lied!
Okay I lied. I said my anxiety story was to be continued, but I'm actually writing a book!I want to keep the contents of the book private.Be proud of me.
Panic at School – Age 15
Since I had my first panic attack my life was literally never the same. I woke up every morning with my heart racing. Yet I still had to go to school.I attended F.H. LaGuardia High School of Music and Art & Performing Arts. I was a drama major there. Ironically, I was acting every single day I went to school. My role was pretending to be "normal." I had to pretend that my heart was beating at a regular pace. I needed to make my classmates and teachers believe that I was just another teenager with ordinary teenage problems, even though this couldn't be farther from the truth.Inside I knew that I was different.I couldn't understand it. I was terrified of my smallness in the world. The universe was massive and I tiny in comparison. I couldn't process this concept.Another thing that I continually harped upon was my fear of becoming an adult. I was used to being under the care of my parents. Once I began having panic attacks I was terrified of going out "into the world" and not having my parents to protect me.What if I had a panic attack and no one was there to help [...]
Top Ways to Make a Little Extra Cash this Autumn
This is a guest post. Here are some suggestions of ways that you can make some extra money in the fall. If you’re a parent, you’ve likely had the added responsibility to entertain them during the summer holidays and while many of us have had work commitments get in the way, school holidays still mean having to fork out extra on childcare, clubs and play schemes that can cost a small fortune.You may find, as your brood head back to school, that your rainy day slush fund is completely dilapidated and if you want to enjoy the coming months and Christmas, you will need to try and recoup a little cash.Whether you’re looking at an October half term UK break at The Wave Hotel, Bognor Regis or you’re hoping to secure a last minute deal in the sun, making a little extra money will help you to achieve your dreams. Of course, you could always try your luck at the current Cushelle competition that has a family holiday up for grabs – you never know!Don’t resort to more debt if you can help it – it’s surprising where you can make money if you really think about it.De-clutter with eBay eBay is [...]
My First Panic Attack – 15 Years Old
I was 15 years old when I had my first panic attack. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was reading a comic book called "Books of Magic." My memory is foggy on this part, but I recall that in this particular comic, the characters from Neil Gaiman's Sandman series (Death and Dream) cease to exist. This concept of theoretically eternal characters dying made my 15 year old mind start to spin. The room was moving. I was dizzy. I sat up from the blue This End Up couch and found my mom in our West 87th Street apartment."Mom," I said "I need to go outside right now.""Okay." My mom said grabbing her coat and not missing a beat.I took her hand and we got in the elevator and headed outside to the front of our building. I could feel my heart racing uncontrollably."Mom." I said timidly. " I don't know what my place is in this world."I looked up at my mother wanting her to save me. I wanted her to stop the sky from spinning. I needed my heart to stop racing. But everything kept going including my mind. It wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop it.My mom [...]
Psychically Swindled
I was in the city today with Ari today going to pick up a check for transcription when a man stopped me."I'm sorry," he said "I normally don't do this, but I had to stop you because one of your spirit guides was calling out to me. Do you believe in spirit guides?""Yes, I do." I said.There is a part of my personality that is deeply spiritual."I usually don't do this, but I do aura and energy work. Would you like a reading?" He asked."I'm sorry, but I have to go pick up a check." I said. " I can meet you back here in 20 minutes." I said.He agreed.Ari and I went to get my check and returned to the spot we were in previously.We got some pizza and waited. I wondered if the man would return. He did."What's your sign?" I asked him."I'm a Capricorn.""What's your moon sign?" I asked him."Oh, I never tell anyone that. Not even my boyfriend knows."He was from L.A., he said. He told me that he did this energy work in California, and that he only worked with five people a year. He had one opening left, the fifth one, and that was [...]
Win a HALO SleepSack Blanket!
The other day I got an email from HALO SleepSack asking if my readers would be interested in learning about the HALO SleepSack Swaddle. Now my kids are older, but then I thought about it and realized I knew at least two friends who were pregnant at the time, and two others that had just given birthI reached out to my friend Alana, who was expecting her fourth child and she agreed to review the HALO SleepSack!Here's an adorable picture of her baby girl Izzy in the HALO SleepSack Alana reports that the HALO SleepSack was a welcome alternative to the baby blankets they usually use. Look at Izzy. She's so cozy.I can remember using the HALO SleepSack myself when my kids were babies. They slept well when they were snug and swaddled.Want to win this blanket for your baby? Do you know anyone who's expecting a baby? This blanket is an excellent baby shower gift!Enter to win below!a Rafflecopter giveaway
Win a Power Animal Tee Shirt from Mine is Yours Apparel
My friend Leah sent me a website the other day via my Facebook wall with one question "Giveaway?"This website was Mine is Yours Apparel.Leah and I have been friends for 15 years, and I always take her suggestions seriously. I checked out the site and I immediately fell in love with this shirt: Messy hair is in y'all!The Power Animal shirt is available exclusively from Mine is Yours Apparel, a local clothing company whose warehouse is...guess where? Brooklyn! That's right, represent!So I wrote Megan at Mine is Yours Apparel and asked if she'd be willing to do a giveaway. She replied right away and said yes! It was one of the best emails I've gotten in a while. Megan, you're awesome!This shirt is not only an amazing design, but it's super comfortable too. I feel like I'm wearing pajamas.Another cool thing about Mine is Yours Apparel is they include a packet of seeds with each tee shirt you're sent in the mail! Want to win this awesome tee shirt? Enter below!a Rafflecopter giveaway
Money – I Want to Understand You Better
I've said this frequently:"I hate money."What I really mean is "I don't understand how to effectively manage money."Over the past three decades of my life, I've made some notoriously poor decisions managing (or rather not managing) my finances. I've wracked up credit card debit. I took out a car loan on a new car that I was unable to pay after a few months.The people in my life who saved money were mysterious super hero like creatures that possessed a skill I didn't seem to have, although I envied and wanted it.Last night, my friend Donna and I went out to dinner.I confessed to her that I was in a deep financial hole at the moment. I was overdrawn a significant about of money in my back account. Before you go judging me, it's not because I was compulsively spending money, it's because my student loan lender decided to take out my payment four days early.Donna and I discussed some of the reasons I'm always broke. The truth came out:"How much do you go to the bakery?" She asked.I was already embarrassed."Um, two to three times a week." I confessed.I've been buying muffins and coffee at this particular bakery two [...]
Hey Asshole! Stop Holding The Doors! – Another Glorious Non-Journey With The MTA
Today I got on the B train at West 4th after waiting a good 20 minutes for it to arrive.I boarded the train and we went two stops downtown. At Grand Street I heard the notorious jarring sound of the train doors attempting to close, but they were stuck."Please stand clear of the closing doors!" The train conductor shouted. I don't know why he bothered to say "please" since he was shouting.The doors open and shut again. I could hear that same unpleasant sound as if something or somebody was stuck in them."Please STEP AWAY from doors so the TRAIN can LEAVE the station!" Shouted the conductor.Clearly, the person who was holding the doors was not giving up so easily. A moment passed, and there it was once again, the sound of the train doors opening abruptly and attempting to shut."PLEASE LET GO OF THE DOORS!" Shouted the angry conductor.The passengers that were near the aforementioned doors leaned in closer to see if they could see through the window down to the end of the train car and locate the individual who was holding up the B train from moving.There was silence for 10 minutes. The doors were shut and [...]
Win a Hip Hop Nutrition Facts Tee From Local Celebrity
A couple of weeks ago, I stopped this guy on the C train. He was wearing the dopest tee-shirt ever. It looked like this: After some expert internet research, I found out that this awesome shirt is made by Local Celebrity! I wrote to the company and asked if I could do a review and giveaway of the Hip Hop Nutrition Facts shirt on my blog. Jordan over at Local Celebrity graciously said yes!Check me out yo! You know you want this shirt too! Want to win the Hip Hop Nutrition Facts shirt from Local Celebrity? Enter below! Word!a Rafflecopter giveaway
Ari Writes Stories at Night
Ari is five years old. Every night for the past week, Ari and I have started a new tradition. Together, we write a story. Ari dictates the story to me, and I transcribe it in a black and white composition notebook. So far, the stories have been about cats, an octopus child, watching TV and eating dinner. Those are some of the things that have been included.Every story ends the same way: "And then the whole village went to sleep."I didn't intend for this to become a tradition (oral storytelling that is) it just sort of happened. It's fun, but I don't want it to replace the act of reading stories.My mom read to me every night. It started with picture books, and then (as I got older) we moved on to chapter books. I want to continue that tradition (of reading aloud) to my kids just as my mom did for me.With regard to Ari's stories, after he's done reciting them, and I record them in the notebook, the most fun part of this activity is reading them aloud. I read him his masterpiece and he hears what he created out loud.You never know, this could help him learn [...]
Anxiety Impacts My Business Decisions
I manage chronic anxiety every day.I see a therapist and I'm currently taking medication for it. In addition to these "Western" measures, I also meditate daily and keep a journal. However, anxiety continues to impact my daily life, regardless of my diligent attempts to address it.Once of the ways in which it affects me is with regard to business and employment.For example, if a company seems interested in hiring me or working with me, I have difficulty "playing it cool."I might receive an email that says:"We'll contact you if we're interested in working with you."For someone like me (who manages chronic anxiety) that statement is difficult to comprehend or deal with. In my mind I'm left wondering if the company will ever be back in touch. Here are some thoughts that may go through my head while I'm waiting to hear back from a company:Will they ever reach out to me?Is my blog good enough?I wonder if I should check in with them again?If I check in with them too much they'll think I'm crazy, even though I'm not crazy I'm just anxious.I literally have to force myself from checking in with companies or people that are interested in working with me, [...]
Win a Robot Backpack From Crocodile Creek
It's back to school time y'all! I wrote to Bill over at Crocodile Creek and asked if he'd be willing to do a backpack giveaway. He graciously said yes!Today I am giving away this totally awesome robot backpack! Your kids want this.What I love about this backpack: It's large enough to fit a standard sized folder It has a designed water bottle slot on the sideIt's sturdy and well constructedIt's colorful and awesome! Ari is obsessed with robots, so this is pretty much the perfect backpack for him.If your child likes flowers more than robots (and you win this giveaway) this beautiful backpack goes to you: Enter to win below!a Rafflecopter giveaway**Giveaway open to U.S. residents only
Why I’m “Always” On Facebook
"You're on Facebook a lot.""You're funny on Facebook.""I see your posts on Facebook.""You = Facebook."I've heard all of those things. The people that said them are right, I am on Facebook a lot. Some of the people saying that they see my on Facebook all the time are being judgmental. Perhaps they think that I have no life and spend my entire day posting random shit on Facebook. I've also heard passive aggressive remarks that go like this:"Facebook is such a time suck. I never go on there.""I don't have time for that."Translation, "you're a loser because you're on Facebook all the time and I am superior to you because I have an important life and I'm too good for the Internet."You know what, good for you! If you don't go on Facebook that's wonderful. I'm glad you're enjoying your life. I'm happy for you! But don't make me feel badly about the fact that I am enjoying posting random shit on Facebook.Things I like to post on Facebook: Pictures of my kids being sillyPictures of my kids being adorablePictures of my kids periodPictures of catsPictures of weird things I see on the street including strange street signs and street [...]