Today I got on the B train at West 4th after waiting a good 20 minutes for it to arrive.

I boarded the train and we went two stops downtown. At Grand Street I heard the notorious jarring sound of the train doors attempting to close, but they were stuck.

“Please stand clear of the closing doors!” The train conductor shouted. I don’t know why he bothered to say “please” since he was shouting.

The doors open and shut again. I could hear that same unpleasant sound as if something or somebody was stuck in them.

“Please STEP AWAY from doors so the TRAIN can LEAVE the station!” Shouted the conductor.

Clearly, the person who was holding the doors was not giving up so easily. A moment passed, and there it was once again, the sound of the train doors opening abruptly and attempting to shut.

“PLEASE LET GO OF THE DOORS!” Shouted the angry conductor.

The passengers that were near the aforementioned doors leaned in closer to see if they could see through the window down to the end of the train car and locate the individual who was holding up the B train from moving.

There was silence for 10 minutes. The doors were shut and the passengers on the B train sat there angry, probably hungry, and ready to just go home. I don’t know about them, but I was two stops from home at this point.

All of a sudden out of absolutely nowhere (remember it had been silent for 10 minutes) the conductor got on the loud speaker and said to the entire train:

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a door problem!”

I wanted to reply “NO SHIT!”

The entire train started hysterically laughing. Way to bring New Yorkers together with some broken ass doors!

The train then sat there for another 10 minutes before the conductor came on the loudspeaker one more time:

“This B train is now out of service! Please exit the train!”

The entire train sighed and a fair number of people started cursing loudly as well as under their breaths.
We all got off the platform at Grand Street to wait for the next train. As the “theoretically broken B train” exited the station every single door on that train was closed.

I have no idea what to think.

Did the asshole who was holding the doors break the train temporarily?
Did that really just happen?
How were the doors working miraculously two seconds after we all exited the train?

Who can solve this mystery?

Thanks MTA for another ridiculous non-journey home.