sarahfader

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About Sarah Fader

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So far Sarah Fader has created 1487 blog entries.

What I Fear

What I fear. It doesn't make sense sometimes. It's like my mind finds the thing that I am terrified of and laughs at me. It taunts me and tells me I am going to die, I hurt someone's feelings, I did something wrong or nobody loves me. These are real legitimate fears, and I don't want [...]

By | 2018-05-18T23:25:29+00:00 May 18th, 2018|Uncategorized|Comments Off on What I Fear

You can’t live in the future when you’re stuck in the past

I'm writing this for you. I've written it and deleted it several times. I'm afraid to say what I want to say. I'm always scared, but I say what I want to say anyway. I'm not frightened of what we are as opposed to what we were. I embrace it. There are wounds, there's messiness, [...]

By | 2018-05-18T01:09:08+00:00 May 18th, 2018|Uncategorized|Comments Off on You can’t live in the future when you’re stuck in the past

I Want to Renew Myself Like a Library Book

I want to renew myself like a library book. I'm tired, I'm not done reading myself, and I definitely need more time. But, I also need some care. My pages are worn and...you know what? This analogy isn't working for me. Let's try another one: I want to publish an updated version of myself, volume [...]

By | 2018-05-10T21:47:23+00:00 May 10th, 2018|Uncategorized|Comments Off on I Want to Renew Myself Like a Library Book

How Are You? I’m Fine. No I’m Not. I Just Got My Period.

When someone asks me how I am, I usually give an honest answer. If I'm not okay, I say something like "having a hard day." But typically I tend to overshare and say something that makes the person laugh, even if it's surprising or seeming inappropriate. "How are you?" "Well, I just got my period, [...]

By | 2018-05-09T18:07:43+00:00 May 9th, 2018|Deep Thoughts|Comments Off on How Are You? I’m Fine. No I’m Not. I Just Got My Period.

Depression Sucker Punches You

Remember Mike Tyson's Punch Out for Nintendo? There were different opponents to beat. Each boxer was harder to conquer than the next. There was that King Hippo with the big belly. You punched him right in the stomach and defeated him. When I think about depression, and how it comes out of nowhere, I remember [...]

By | 2018-05-04T21:00:39+00:00 May 4th, 2018|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Depression Sucker Punches You

Failing is Succeeding

We all fail. We all stumble, fall on our faces, try hard to do something that explodes in the worst way possible. You might have labeled yourself a "failure" or a "loser." I'm guilty of doing this. Failure can feel intense to me and I adopt it temporarily as part of my identity. It's not that [...]

By | 2018-05-03T23:16:11+00:00 May 3rd, 2018|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Failing is Succeeding