I was tired today and I decided to take a nap for an hour before I got up. When it came time to get up I was not into this idea. But, then I remembered one crucial step in getting up is putting your pants on. Then I got excited because, well…I like my pants.

It’s the little things that count, right? I began imagining how awesome it would feel to have my pants on and that motivated me to get up. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m sitting here laughing to myself. PANTS made me get up.
That’s hilarious and awesome at the same time. My pants alleviated my morning anxiety.

I could say I got up to write, which is partially true because I have several things I need to write, but in reality, it was my pants that were the main motivator. Just thinking about having them on was enough to get me going. I would even go so far as to say that my pants were more important than the first cup of coffee. Are you shocked?

After getting up, it was a matter of finding them. Pants have a way of hiding from me. That’s an entirely separate issue, and it’s not their fault. I put them in a variety of places that don’t make sense and often forget where they are. Then it’s like playing pants hide and seek.

There are many things I don’t like to do other than getting up in the morning such as cleaning my house, but I have to do that too. In my romantic¬†relationships, that has been a point of contention. I know that’s not just me though. A lot of couples fight about shit like that and even discuss it with their expensive couple’s counselor. But hey, at least they’re not talking about pants…or are they?

Back to the pants issue. When you work at home it’s important to remind yourself that you are in fact working. Wearing real pants as opposed to pajama pants helps with that distinction. Even if I don’t have to report to anyone in person (because I am in my home office) I still find that wearing pants helps me feel like I am working. Pants are powerful, people. Pants aare helping me be more productive and I thank them for their service.

You may be wondering: does it have to be a certain kind of pants? The answer is yes and no. I find that jeans are the most helpful in this department, however, you might find that you’re more productive in dress pants. Who the fuck knows? Feel free to prove me wrong on this issue. If you think you get more shit done in pajama pants I want to know.

In a world where getting dressed in the morning is essential, let’s stop what we’re doing, bow our heads and pay our respect to pants. They have a valuable job: keeping your legs and butt safe. Can you say that for anything else in your life? I don’t think so.