Listen to Me
When I’m feeling emotional, all I want is for people to listen to me. It’s upsetting when I express my feelings, and the person on the other end doesn’t respond; it hurts. The more I feel they’re ignoring me, the louder I get. I feel like I’m screaming my emotions, not literally but passionately expressing myself and the individual isn’t hearing me.
Silence is deadly
I know that I talk a lot. Sometimes listening to myself exhausts me. I can’t decode through each one of my racing thoughts, but I’m getting somewhere, I swear. When I’m expressing myself passionately, I want the other person to echo what I’m saying. I need them to give me feedback so that I know that they’re listening. I don’t like to talk to myself; I feel like I’m on stage reciting a monologue. It feels like the silence on the other end of the conversation is stonewalling. I’m fearful at the moment because there have been times in my life when I’ve been stonewalled. People have denied what I was feeling. I felt alone, and yet I was with another person in the same room.
I never want to feel that way again
After feeling alone and like nobody understood me I realized that I never wanted to feel like that again. I can’t stop myself from having emotions, though there are many times when I desperately want to throw my feelings in the garbage. Unfortunately, feelings don’t magically disappear. I recognize that need support and reach out to my support system to share. But when I don’t feel like someone’s listening to me, I’m going to point it out. I’m going to say hey I need to know that you understand what I’m saying. It’s important to me that you hear me because what I’m saying matters. I sometimes know with OCD attend repeat myself, but one of the reasons I do this is if I don’t feel like a person is listening to me and I will reword the sentence four different ways so that maybe they can understand it this time.
They’re not necessarily ignoring me
For the most part, people make an effort to understand what you’re saying, but they don’t necessarily find the need to say anything back. Perhaps they’re taking in what you’re communicating. I’m a verbose person, and I don’t expect people to respond to every tiny little thing that comes out of my mouth. I know that there are times when people need to process what I’m saying before responding. It’s not necessarily that they’re ignoring me; they’re thinking, having a moment to process their feelings. I sometimes personalize their silence in the conversation and I assume the person isn’t listening to me when they’re just internalizing what I said. They need to think before responding.
I’m working hard to listen
I recognize that if I want people to listen to me I need to reciprocate. Listening is an essential part of relationships, and that’s why I want to make a point to hear what the people in my life are saying so that they know that they matter to me. My opinion matters and so does theirs. Hearing them is a way to show them that I value their thoughts and emotions. There are times when I unintentionally space out, and I forget to respond when someone is talking to me. In these moments, I don’t mind when the person says, “hey did you hear me?” I’m not always the most focused person in the world. The more that we listen to each other the better chance we have an understanding of how another person feels. Listening strengthens relationships, and that’s why I want to hear you. Your voice matters to me.