Relationships are Bizarre
Relationships are weird. You connect with a person that you see often, and sometimes you’re on the same page, while other times, you’re reading Emily Dickinson and the other person is reading the Encyclopedia Britannica. Why are people so complicated? I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care. Sometimes I want to be understood. Is that too much to ask? When you’re working hard to get the other person to see your perspective, it’s exhausting. It feels like an emotional trip to the gym. I don’t like exercising, in case you haven’t noticed. But anyway, there are good times. When your partner acknowledges your feelings even if he doesn’t agree, that’s a win. You see things her way also though you want to punch a wall because you’ve heard the same argument 800 times, and you want to stop talking about it. These are triumphs when you’re with someone you care deeply about, and both of you win.
Is it worth it?
When things are hard, you may find yourself wondering: is it worth it? Do I stay in this relationship? Only you know the answer to that question. Sometimes love isn’t enough to make things work. It takes effort and compassion, and I’ll admit, there are times when I find myself frustrated. But I know that it is (indeed) worth it to have a loving connection with someone who means everything to me. The healthiest relationships are ones where you can have disagreements that may or may not get resolved but still love each other after hashing out those problems. When you can’t figure it out it’s not a failure to seek the help of a counselor to work through relationship discord; whether you’re married or in a long-term partnership, therapists can help. It’s not fun to admit that your relationship is suffering, but would you rather live in denial? I don’t believe that’s healthy. If there’s a way to fix something and I can’t see it, I’d like a professional to help me, but then again I am a member of the therapy fan club. I could be the president.
Love is the answer
Love is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. What does it mean to love someone? It signifies that you value them inside and out. You appreciate their entire being, flaws, and strengths. It’s not easy to accept your partner’s quirks, but wouldn’t you want them to embrace yours? I know I do. I’m impatient, complex and I can frustrate people with how I ruminate on something I can’t solve. But, I’m also generous, compassionate, empathetic and funny. I would do anything to help my partner because I want him to be happy. Seeing him smile makes me feel warm inside and that matters to me. We are powerful together. I love him with every particle of my body and soul. When I love, I love hard. I’m passionate and throw myself into loving someone. I work tirelessly to demonstrate how much that person matters to me because I want them to feel valued and I hope that they’ll do the same for me; show me that I matter, that my existence is something they treasure.
I’ll leave you with a short poem:
I’ll be me
You are you
Together we are entwined in an invisible coil
No matter what happens
We’ll find our way back to each other
I sense your feelings
I can feel when you need me
And I know how to find you
I will catch you if you’re falling
And I will reach out my hand
hold it against my heart
so you know I’m here