I never thought I would say this, but I am okay with myself. Of course, I’ll never truly be alone because I have two kids. But, I feel confident for the first time in my entire life. I remember asking my uncle if he was confident and he said in all honesty that his confidence fluctuates. I used to feel like that was the case for me, but now that I have a better understanding of who I am, regardless of my anxiety disorder, I feel more confident. Anxiety definitely messes with me and so does OCD, but I finally feel like I can handle it. I can deal with the intrusive thoughts because 1. I am on the right medications and 2. I know myself and I like myself. There will undoubtedly be days when I get frustrated with myself because we all have those days. Some people are more honest about them than others.
Truth be told, I have in my life wanted other people to fix me. I’ve known this for a long time and I’ve been transparent about it. This is something that I’ve discussed in a therapeutic setting with partners. I know now that I am the only one who can “fix” me. But actually, I don’t need to be fixed. I feel like for the first time in my life, I don’t NEED a relationship, I WANT one. I want to be loved, understood and spend time with someone. However, I don’t feel like I am incomplete without another person. This is revolutionary. I used to be obsessed with the idea of being with another person. Honestly, I blame romantic comedies. Rom Coms have ruined relationships for us. They perpetuate the idea that you are not a complete human being if you don’t have a significant other. This is complete nonsense and the idea should be thrown in the garbage.
You are enough, and the people in your life should be grateful to be a part of it, whether this is a partner or not. I feel happy that I have friends who get me. Sometimes I feel lonely and that’s normal too! Loneliness is a part of the human condition and it’s not all bad. Loneliness is a time for self-reflection. We don’t always have to be surrounded by people to feel good. There are times for being around other people. And then there is a time and place for journaling, meditating and taking some time for yourself.
The bottom line is: you are not an incomplete person if you’re single. And we need to stop feeding into these lies. If you’re single you can still have an incredibly fulfilling life. Also, stop pressuring people who don’t have a partner to go out and find one. It’s annoying and intrusive. If you’re happy with your spouse that’s great, but it doesn’t concern you if someone is single.
Happiness means different things to different people. Find out what you want and if that’s a relationship that’s great. If you’re happy being by yourself that’s cool too!
What about you? Are you happy being single or do you prefer to be in a couple?