I wrote an article. That article went viral. It was controversial…I guess. People had strong reactions to it. When I wrote it, I didn’t think about what other people would think. It was about getting my feelings out. Writing is a form of catharsis for me. It always has been and always will be.
What I wasn’t prepared for is how I would feel when other people disagreed with me. I’m fine with people having a differing point of view from my own. I have a difficult time handling it when people attack me for having an opinion. The reason is that I’m a sensitive person.
Being sensitive is challenging in itself, but when you combine being sensitive with becoming a public persona, it’s a whole different ball game.
When someone says something negative about something that I’ve written, it hurts. People have told me I have to develop a thicker skin. Well, they’re right to an extent. However, it’s difficult not to feel hurt when someone tells you that “you’re an asshole” or “you’ve hurt your innocent daughter by writing what you wrote.”
Yeah that shit hurts. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t, because I would be lying to myself. And I’m about being honest with my emotions.
I need to find a way to honor my sensitivity without letting it take over. I don’t need to be obsessing over what other people on the internet (that I will never meet in real life) think about me.
I have my friends and family who love me and support me. That’s more important than some random haters.
I know these things are true, but in that moment when I read something negative about myself online, it still stings. I take it personally, because writing is a personal act. Writing is a huge part of who I am. My words and I are connected in a deep way.
I wonder if there are any other sensitive writers out there who can relate to this.
Are you a sensitive writer? How do you cope with being sensitive in a public forum?
I’m a sensitive writer. All good, thoughtful writers are sensitive at some level.
I am writing this with a spirit of helpfulness. I’m not sure if you are aware of the irony of saying that you are “hurt” when someone calls you an asshole online after you’ve referred to your children as “assholes” to the entire world. If you want to be known as a sensitive writer and a sensitive person, this probably isn’t the way to do it.
I’m not sure how dug in you are in your belief that it’s OK to refer to children as “assholes” online. You know, I think that there is a small part of you that doesn’t think that it’s OK to do this. There’s another part of you that would feel like a fool for admitting it after your post went viral.
It sounds like you’re feeling stuck as a writer. If this bothers you as much as it does, I think that you should do a 180 and admit that you were wrong and that you’ve come around to agree with the people who disagreed with you and that you are sorry if you hurt anyone’s feelings. I think that would help you get past this as you strive to find a new voice. It wouldn’t be easy to swallow your pride, but you will sleep better at night, and your writing would improve.
Look at what you’ve written with your eyes wide open. Please don’t fall into the trap of thinking of those who disagree with you as “haters”. (As a side note – the word “hater” is a cliche in the blogging world. I’d stop using it.)
I think you missed the entire point of this post. What I wrote in 3 year olds are assholes was a humorous piece that a lot of people misinterpreted and that frustrated me. I also happen to be a sensitive person and writer.