Wil found my old pregnancy journal, circa 2008,in the closet today. I was flipping through it and I was amused by this page.

Since it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to decipher my handwriting, I’ll decode it for you:

“Everyone keeps obsessing over the caffeine thing. It’s really annoying. I barely drink coffee, and now if I’m seen eating a chocolate chip cookie, they want to alert the media! Quantity-wise, there is significantly less caffeine in chocolate than coffee! What else? Oh, I keep hearing “take it easy!” What does that even mean?” What do people think, I’m going to take it hard? Start mountain climbing or hunting?”
I crack myself up.
But this does bring to light something that I want to discuss. When I was pregnant, and after I had Ari, I received some of the most nonsensical “advice” from co-workers and (for the most part) strangers.
When Ari was three months old, I was nursing him and enjoying a cup of coffee with my cheesecake at Junior’s (the best cheesecake in Brooklyn I might add) and this lady, who was a complete stranger, walked by and shouted “Don’t drink any brown beverages! They will upset the baby!” I smiled and nodded politely, but wanted to yell obscenities at her:
So, I just want to say, if you’re pregnant, or you have a newborn, and someone says some stupid shit to you that makes no sense, feel free to react accordingly.
Now it’s your turn. Please tell me the most ridiculous advice you’ve received as a expectant or new mother.