Women Can Hit on Men

//Women Can Hit on Men

Women Can Hit on Men

I have a single friend who is in love with her neighbor. We talk about him often. She tries to think of different ways to approach him and get him to notice her. She wants him to ask her out. To me this is a weird concept. I’ve never been into traditional gender roles. Whenever I’ve liked a guy in my 34 years, I’ve told him as much.

Usually, this has a poor effect on men. They get all weird and don’t know how to handle an assertive woman.  I (on the other hand) don’t have time for games. I find them tiresome and I’m bad at the rules.

My advice to my friend was this: “Ask the guy out for coffee.”

I see no problem with a woman hitting on a man. Society has no problem with the opposite. Men are encouraged to tell women that they’re attractive and ask them out to dinner or drinks or what have you. However, women are told that they mustn’t tell a man that they’re interested in him.. Oh no! Don’t do that. You’ll look crazy and desperate. I’m here to tell you that I don’t play by those rules. And you can feel free not to also.

If a guy doesn’t like you because you told him that you like him, perhaps he’s not the sort of person you want to be with after all. If I tell a guy I like him (and I’ve done this historically) and he responds poorly, oh well, his loss.

Women, we do not need to hold back our sexuality or our desire towards the opposite sex. If you want to ask a man out for coffee or drinks or hot fucking chocolate, I have three words for you: go for it.

I don’t care that society says it’s wrong. I don’t mind that some guys will think I come on too strong. The right man is not going to care about all that. So ladies, if you like a guy: tell him. You’ve got nothing to lose.

By | 2014-04-10T14:03:33+00:00 April 10th, 2014|Uncategorized|9 Comments


  1. jess.⚓ April 10, 2014 at 11:44 am

    So true! I am so tired of hearing about how assertive women are a turn off. Sorry she’s got more balls than you, bro.

    Matt didn’t mind that I pretty much told him to ask me out. Haha

  2. Jennifer Nelson April 10, 2014 at 11:54 am

    See, this one is a little tricky. I used to feel the same way. Why do I have to “wait” for a man to get off his ass and do the asking? However, any circumstance in which I have pursued a guy and asked him out (I think about two times) has not lead to anything significant. I read the book “He’s just not that into you” and the author preached that some gender roles are etched in stone and when a guy is interested in a woman, there is nothing that will get in the way of him pursuing her. I found this incredibly frustrating but as I progress in my life, I’m starting to see that there may be some truth to this. Fuck men! LOL!

  3. Trauma Dad April 10, 2014 at 11:57 am

    Yep. I’ve been on both ends of this. I definitely prefer to be approached. I don’t have time for games either. I’m not going to chase somebody around, or even remotely acknowledge dating games like “hard to get”. Fuck all of that teen magazine sexist bullshit. I can’t imagine it being a turn off that somebody is interested in me enough to ask me out. I’ve even, years after a crush and now unavailable, spoken with women who reveal that, at the time, they were so disappointed that I didn’t ask them out. I’m left thinking “okay, well then why didn’t you somehow make that desire known?” We don’t read minds, and games are stupid to most men. The practice of men needing to be the ones who do the asking is shallow, sexist, and pointless.

  4. Old School/New School Mom April 10, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    See, that’s what’s up.

  5. Old School/New School Mom April 10, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    Exactly. Mind games are bullshit. You like someone: tell them.

  6. Old School/New School Mom April 10, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    There is truth to it for sure, but I still think we need to push against it.

  7. Liz Barnett April 10, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    I’m a mix of old school and new school. Wait!? What!? lol But I do not hold back from complementing men, flirting with them, etc. In the context of a bar, I NEVER expect a guy to buy me a drink and if he buys me one, sometimes I’ll follow up with buying him one. In general though, I think that I intimidate guys because they are confused by the fact I have no social anxiety about letting them know what I think. So then they think I’m playing games of some sort, when really I’m just being direct. The part that makes me old school is that I do hope the guy asks me out. The reason for this isn’t what you think – it’s not that I want to be traditional. It is that it makes it easier for me when my brain goes into hyper OCD analyses mode and is trying to pick apart every conversation. I begin to wonder: Does he REALLY like me or is it because I am so intense? Is it just easier for him to say yes to me because he knows I will keep asking? haha So I try to let the guy ask me out so that way I can know for sure that he is actually choosing to date me because he wants it, not because I’m a salesy person who is great at promoting things including myself.

  8. Old School/New School Mom April 11, 2014 at 11:44 am

    I’ve been called intense like a millions times.

  9. Liz Barnett April 11, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    no way! lol

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