Today was my 20 week ultrasound. Despite the fact that I was exhausted from my friend Leigh’s wedding last night (Orthodox Jewish weddings are fun but oy! The food, the dancing!) I had a hard time getting to sleep. I was excited, because today was the day that I would find out the gender of my mystery baby.
When I into the exam room, I immediately informed the ultrasound technician that I wanted to know the gender. It seemed like forever until we got to that part of the exam. She was measuring every single part of the baby. I kept saying:
“Is every thing normal?”
“Yes…so far.” She repeated every time I asked. “So far” (by the way) is an infuriating and nerve racking response. Like there could be something wrong at any moment?
I have to admit I was bored. As long as every thing was fine, there were no toes or a femur missing I wanted to peer in between this baby’s legs and get to the real reason why I was here.
WHAT ARE YOU BABY?
During the course of the exam, the mystery baby yawned and pointed an accusatory finger at myself and Susan, the technician. Yes, Susan is her real name. She has no kids and one male cat. I found this out while I was bored out my mind looking at my fetus’ kidneys.
I also found out that my placenta previa is no longer an issue! My placenta is not blocking the cervix, however, I now have another placenta condition. I had to laugh when I heard the term for this one. It’s called “Battledore Placenta.” It sounds so Medieval!
Essentially, what it means is this: the umbilical cord is supposed to connect to the center of the placenta. Mine connects on the side of the placenta, like a tennis racket (not the analogy I choose to use, I am merely quoting ultrasound tech Susan). Here is a diagram to further confuse you:
Then the moment of truth finally came. Without warning Susan announced that…the umbilical cord was between the baby’s legs! She didn’t know what the baby was!
Unfortunately, this baby has a persistent Jewish mother. Anonymity was completely unacceptable. I shook my belly until that damn umbilical cord moved.
I refused to be defeated by a being that is only 3/4 of lb. That’s not how I roll.
Turns out…that…this baby is…a…. GIRL!
Yes, a girl. I was so excited and relieved to know!
Shortly after this picture was taken, he bumped his head on the metal table in the deli and sustained an enormous bruise near his eye. Fortunately a E.R. doctor from the hospital was having a salad behind us. I asked him:
“Does this classify as a head injury?”
“No, he’s fine. He just bumped his eye.”
“Sorry, I know you’re off duty.”I replied.
“Never!” He said with a laugh.
My mom complimented me on being resourceful enough to seek out his advice.
She is very excited to have another granddaughter (my brother has two girls- a step-daughter and a newborn).