The other day my friend Alex was over helping me hang a 20 X 30 picture frame of my kids on the brick wall of my apartment. As I watched her at work, I said to her “You’re like my surrogate man.” I said this because I am a newly single mom. I began to laugh a little to myself and then I thought: no. That’s not true. And I said it aloud.
“Wait, a second. That’s not true. Women can be just as handy as men are. Look at you working your magic on that picture frame. ”
Alex laughed to herself and said: “I was gonna say, when she’s old enough,” and she pointed to Samara, my daughter, “I’ll teach her how to use a power drill.”
We both laughed. “I would love that. And I bet she’ll be really good at it.”
Though society would have you believe otherwise, single mothers don’t need a man. My friend Kristen (also a single mom) told me a story about a proud independent moment she had. She bought a new futon and needed to remove her old one. With no help, she dragged the old futon out of her house, down a flight of stairs, out onto the street, around the corner and into the dumpster. The best part of the story was her neighbor came out, saw what was going on and remarked “Do you need me to get my husband?” Kristen turned around confidently, flexed her muscle and said “Nope, I did it myself.”
This story exemplifies how powerful women can be. We do not need the help of man to complete life tasks.
Yet, the pervasive societal view is that a man is essential to a make a household complete. A friend of mine (another single mother) was at her son’s school PTA meeting. A parent randomly approached her and asked “where’s your husband?” I don’t know how she refrained from punching this person in the face, but she did. This stranger’s distorted viewpoint is (unfortunately) the prevalent view of our society. The truth is “where her husband is” is none of this person’s business.
Women need to believe (confidently) that we can do what it takes to be independent regardless of what society says about us. There is a floating misconception out there among women that if there is no man, then many tasks remain incomplete. I want to debunk this idea. Women can do whatever we set our minds to. We are powerful beyond expectation.