I self-identify as a highly sensitive person (HSP) If you know me, you know this is absolutely true. This means that I come across to other people as “intense.”
If you’re my friend, it’s because I’ve chosen to let you into my microcosm. I like you, I trust you, I find you fascinating, I want to hug you and I think you taste like chocolate. I love my friends a lot.
Because I love you, I’m going to tell you nice things about yourself. Maybe I’ll tell you that you’re a great friend. Perhaps I’ll let you know that you look hot a particular day. I might let you know that you wrote something that resonated with me. I may compliment your skill or ability to do something that I personally cannot do. You get the point.
Some of the people I love love to be complimented. They enjoy this aspect of my personality and have grown to expect me to do it because they know it’s a part of who I am. However, recently I’ve encountered a few of my friends who react strongly to being complimented. Two of my friends actually called me “delusional” for complimenting them. Now granted, I love these people and they meant it in a joking manner. As in “how could you say that about me? It must not be true. You’re delusional.” But still, the idea that they 1. Refuse to accept a compliment and 2. Call me delusional hurts my feelings.
Although, I do understand where this is coming from because I (too) have difficulty accepting compliments. When someone tells me that I’m good at social media (for example) my immediate gut reaction is to prove them wrong. I know it’s fucked up. I know it comes from a place of insecurity, but I have to fight that urge to tell them things like “oh, but there are so many things I don’t know about social media.”
It’s okay to be good at things. Yes, we have flaws but we also have inherent and developed strengths that we can be proud of. We need to learn how to accept compliments, myself included.
The next time someone tells me that I’m good at something, I’m going to simply reply: thank you.
“Thank you” because this person is telling me something nice about myself. And whether or not I believe them is actually irrelevant. They believe I’m awesome. They are telling me I’m awesome and that (in itself) is pretty great. So I’m going to take it. Thank you.
The next time someone compliments you (even if it feels weird) try saying: thank you.