I got a purple and white envelope with perforated edges in the mail on Saturday. Without even opening it, I knew exactly what it was. On the slight chance that I might be wrong about the contents of the envelope, I aggresively ripped the perforated edges, and out came the undeniable, a notice to appear for The Kings County Supreme Court on December 5th. My heart sank.

I really did not want to sit around for days away from my kids waiting to see if I would be placed on a trial.but then, I posted my woes on Facebook, and a couple of people suggested that I would be excused because I am a caregiver.

Upon further inspection of my purple and white foe, I saw that with the presentation of “my youngest child’s birth certificate” I could postpone my fate. I wasted no time. On Monday morning the kids, both of their birth certificates (I wasn’t taking any chances with the bureatic system) and I headed down to Adams Street.
They were just as angry about the summons as I was.
This is my game face.
After we climbed many stairs, they made us go through a security checkpoint. As thr diaper bag was going through the X-Ray machine, I was getting nervous. What if the baby nail clippers or my keys or spare change covered in soggy Cherrios made the alarm go off? The coast seemed to be clear, until the stroller passed through. The metal detector went completely insane and and would not stop beeping. I started sweating. The security guard gave me a cold glare which quickly morphed into a half smile as she said:
“Go on through.”
We ran through, at which point I realized that I had no idea where I was going.
“Um, excuse me? Where is room 156?” I asked burly security guard who was lurking in the corner.
“Around the corner, take the elevator down one.” He grunted.
We rushed around the corner and took the elevator down.
Then we looked for Room 156…
And found it.

We waited in line, and finally we approached the window of the clerk.

The clerk took one look at me, then the kids, and finally at Samara’s birth certificate. She smiled and said:

“You’ve got two years.”
Yes! Two years of being Jury duty free!
“You may get something in the mail saying to come down here again before the two years is up. If you do, just come back with the birth certificate again.”
The kids and I exited the court with the purple and white envelope and a very important addition to it:
Have you been called for jury duty recently?