It’s been hard not to give up lately. I have a shirt that says Don’t Give Up.
When I am sad (or depressed) It ‘s hard not to give up. But I know that I have no other option. I have to keep going. One thing that helps me to persevere is being thankful. That is hard when I am feeling low, but I know that ultimately it will help me. Here is a gratitude list to help me remember not to give up:
- I have supportive friends and family
- I am healthy
- I have two healthy beautiful smart kids
- I have great pets (cats and a dog)
- I’m a successful writer
- I am funny
- I help people
- I created a community to help people with mental illness – Stigma Fighters
- I’m tenacious
- I am a good mom
- I make things happen in seemingly impossible situations
- I’m a good speaker
- I motivate people
- I make friends easily
I forget the good things when I am low and it’s so easy to do that. Making lists of the things I am grateful helps me to feel better, even if it’s just a momentary thing. I’ll take that moment of peace rather than suffering. Underneath this cloud of depression, there is hope and I’m working hard to find it. There are days when we don’t want to go to work. The same goes for working on our mental health. It’s not easy to work on yourself. It’s not easy to work on MYSELF. But what’s the alternative? I don’t want to sit here and feel like shit. I want to take my pajamas off, put on “real clothes” (even though they suck) and get outside. I want to live my life like a human fucking being. You only have one life (unless you’re a cat) so let’s do this yo. I want to make shit work as opposed to taking out a violin and feeling sorry for myself. What good comes of that? No good, I tell you.
You know what the easy road is? Feeling like a victim, feeling like you “can’t” when if you push a little harder, “you can.” I know this because there are so many moments that I feel like I can’t do something. In those moments I tell myself that I’ve had these thoughts before and I have done what I believed I could not do. I know who I am, even when depression tries to fuck with me, and what I know is that I am a good person. I try hard at life, and that’s what I can do. I’m going to get off this chair I’m sitting here in and I’m going to change some shit up today. What are you going to do today?