Be Better

I woke up this morning feeling a little bit better. My heart was still racing but I believe there is something to look forward to. No fuck that, I know there is something to look forward to.

It lies within me. I am the master of my own destiny. I make the choices that contribute to me and my happiness.

It does scare the shit out of me. I’m not going to lie.

Lying.

I’ve always been a terrible liar. And when I try to do it people seem to know. So I don’t bother trying. Sometimes I will be silent, but I will not tell an untruth.

Guilt.

Feeling guilty is a waste of time. It doesn’t mean that we can’t feel those feelings because they happen organically.

I want to be OK. And I know that one day I will feel that; even if it is just for a moment.

And the reason that I know that is because I’m sitting here on my couch feeling OK in this moment.

Everything and I mean everything is going to be all right. Bob Marley was onto something.