Archives for June 2015

#AskELJames - Everyone Forgot Their Manners

June 30, 2015 By Sarah Fader

When I was growing up, I was raised to say please and thank you. I was told to listen to people when they were talking and to be respectful of other human beings. This is called “having manners.” It seems that this concept becomes lost on people when they step behind a keyboard of a computer.

What happened during the #AskELJames chat on Twitter was inexcusable. I don’t care how unsavory you find someone’s work, there is no excuse for plain rudeness. People were saying the most horrendous things on Twitter to this woman whom they’ve never met. The truth of the matter is, when human beings are hiding behind a keyboard, they seem to completely forget that they are interacting with other human beings. It’s as if they’re in some vortex where empathy has entirely disappeared and they can say whatever the fuck they want without consequences.

Well, that’s not the case. When you personally attack another person on the Internet, they are reading what you wrote, and they are (just like you) a human being.

Regardless of the content of EL James work of fiction, there is no need to attack her character and insult her intelligence. I saw many tweets that directly questioned her cognitive abilities, which is mind-blowing. Let me get this straight: you find someone’s artistic work unpalatable so your response is to call that person stupid. Maybe I’m missing something here, but that doesn’t sound right to me. Perhaps if we were operating under the rules of children on a playground this would make sense, but I don’t think five-year-olds use Twitter, so that logic fails.

When I was in college I had to write a lot of term papers. If I disagreed with a point an author was making, I had to come up with tangible evidence to prove that my point was valid. I couldn’t call the author a moron and expect my professor to give me an A. Apparently, many people on the Internet have forgotten how to make logical arguments. Instead they’ve resorted to attacking a person’s character or making snide remarks about the content of their work.

If one were to make the argument that EL James work promotes abusive relationships, one could certainly do this. But there is no need to be snarky about it. Simply site the source. Furthermore, if anyone had real questions for the author about the content of her work, they could have asked her without name-calling.

It’s rather simple: be respectful and ask genuine questions because you want to know the actual answers. THE END.

If you want to attack someone, I suggest you go out and take a kickboxing class.

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

June 29, 2015 By Sarah Fader

I want to do everything all the time every day. That’s not an exaggeration. I want to be all things to all people. You know what happens when you try to be everything to everyone? You end up pissing someone off. I am grateful to my dear friend JC Hannigan for reminding me that I cannot do everything, and that sometimes it’s better for a friendship when friends do not work together. You see, JC and I were working together on a project and she fired me. But, it was the best thing she’s ever done. She reminded me that she loved me, but we probably shouldn’t work together on this project.

You know what? That’s okay. Sometimes, you have to take a step back and reevaluate your time and your priorities. JC told me to make a list of what’s important to me and to do those things. That is what I’m going to do.

When I’m overwhelmed, I tend to freeze. It’s a side effect of anxiety. I don’t know what to do first, so I don’t do anything. Sticking my head in the sand only makes that overwhelmed feeling ten times more intense. In fact, I got so overwhelmed by all the different projects I’m undertaking that I stopped writing. That is so unlike me. No matter what I have going on, I always find time to write. Writing makes me feel like a person. When I’m not writing, you can be assured that there is something wrong.

No matter what I’m feeling, words make me feel whole again. Seeing letters stuck together forming language on paper makes me feel like all is right in the world, even if it’s falling apart. It’s like exercising a muscle when I write.

My mind feels like scrambled eggs right now, but I’m still writing.

Thank you JC for reminding me that I don’t have to be everything to everyone. I have a responsibility to myself to do the best that I can. If I know that I’ve tried my hardest, then that’s what matters.

An Unlocked Memory

June 21, 2015 By Sarah Fader

I sat in the empty hotel room. It was unpleasantly cold. I shifted my body trying to get comfortable. The room had one window, but it was covered by a blue polyester curtain. The curtain was glued to the glass square. If only I could lift the curtain. I would be able to see outside.

My flight was leaving in an hour and the kids weren’t ready.

Only none of this is real.

The only thing that was real was the feeling that there was a problem that I couldn’t solve. There was no way to see past the barrier that had been self-imposed. I closed my eyes and felt the cool synthetic air penetrate my pores. My feet tingled. The air was electric.

Breathing in and out. This moment is not real, but it feels so real. I began to shake. It was unbearably cold.

It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real.

My whole body shook with fear until…

I opened my eyes.

Green grass and a bright yellow light greeted me. I couldn’t help but smile. There was a wooden box with a shiny golden lock attached to it. A key lay in the dirt next to the box.

I want to open it. I want to see inside. There are answers inside.

My hands trembled as I picked up the rusty key and unlocked the golden lock. Upon opening, the lock exploded into an infinite number of glittery pieces. The box lay there waiting for me.

Open it.

I approached the wooden box with hope.

My fingers swept around the box.

I am afraid.

Fear curled around my entire body like a damp blanket. I shook it off and held onto the box tightly with my hands.

Do it.

Without thinking I forced the box open with both hands. The warm golden light hit my face. At once I knew the answer. I was at peace. I grabbed the rusty key in my hand and threw it as far as I could. My arm hurt, but I couldn’t feel the pain.

I lay down in the grass and let the light wash over me.

I remembered now.

I finally let it go.

Guest Post: Depression Expressed as Aggression and Destruction By K. Williams

June 15, 2015 By Sarah Fader

A friend of mine recently told me about a dream he had, in which I we stood at the top of a tall building in New York City. He said that I told him I no longer wanted to live. He took my hand and said, “Let’s do this.” So we jumped. He survived the fall and woke from the dream.

Sadly, depression can often lead to suicide, but there are signs along the way that could help us take notice of someone’s struggle with this disease. Many of the characters I write reflect aspects of myself, so I have no doubt that, when they are analyzed, they will show signs of anxiety and depression, and perhaps a bit of neuroticism, and a rage streak in a lot of cases.

Writing is a cathartic exercise in which we as writers can express our innermost thoughts. To read a person’s writing is to read into their heads. It’s not a smear of the author across the page in all cases. The art of writing is far more complicated than that. The author has to make choices that are true to the manuscript and characters they create. In those choices, we can unravel a psyche. Much like my friend’s dream, which shows a desire for death, which he feels is put upon him by outside forces (embodied by myself), an author’s work can show an array of inner feelings.

Depression is a sneaking disease that is so subtle we may only notice the symptoms by the time it has advanced to deadly levels. Isolation and a desire to remain out of the limelight are just a few manifestations. Over compensating can be another. Rage and destruction are yet more. It depends on the individual experiencing depression how they manifest symptoms.

When I decided to write my series, I set it in a fantasy world where angels and demons vie for control of the home world from which all life comes. I didn’t stop there. My characters required the trappings of life, if they were going to be exciting and readable. Furthermore, I decided that it was time to take off the handcuffs; dismiss the worry that someone close to me or even a stranger might question my motives behind the stories within the story.

Dominic has lived thousands of years among the duta (a race of giant winged beings that fed the myth of angels), hoping to one day rise among them. A rising is an evolution in an atman. The atman is our life force, as taught by mystic traditions. His desire to move up in the worlds is troubled by a penchant for the destructive. When he incarnates into physical lives, he forgets his plans and indulges his appetites, overwhelmed by all the sensory stimuli. Depressed individuals will recognize this as self-medicating (as in the use of drugs) and destructive behavior that is a subconscious form of self-punishment. Dominic is depressed, and why wouldn’t he be? He feels that he’s been blown off by the bureaucracy for what he was promised. After chasing his tail for multiple incarnations, he rightfully has anger. That frustrations translates to self-doubt, feelings of worthlessness, and helplessness.

I’m all too familiar with these feelings. They crop up while I’m working on projects, even blog posts, in my interactions with others and in my day job. The anxiety can make you extremely frustrated and I have had moments of ‘explosion’ to let that steam out. Dominic reflects these emotions and experiences and how I associate them with bad behavior. An early reader expressed to me how she disliked him still by the end of the book. I felt badly for him, because many people with anxiety and depression end up disliked because others are not understanding their behaviors as signs of a problem they’re having. Instead of working with them, or trying to have a conversation, they decide that this person should decide to just behave themselves and be decent. That attitude leads to further alienation, frustration and a deeper depression.

It’s my hope that this writing will expose some of those ideas and lead to a conversation about aggression and destruction as expressions of Depression, and remove the stigma attached to them so that those with the disease can get the help and care they need—so they can rise up and reach their ascensions.

Born in Saratoga Springs, New York, K.Williams embarked on a now twenty year career in writing. After a childhood, which consisted of voracious reading and hours of film watching, it was a natural progression to study and produce art.

K attended Morrisville State College, majoring in the Biological Sciences, and then continued with English and Historical studies at the University at Albany, home of the New York State Writer’s Institute, gaining her Bachelor’s Degree. While attending UA, K interned with the 13th Moon Feminist Literary Magazine, bridging her interests in social movements and art. Topics of K’s writing include the environment, animal welfare, gender limitations, racial disparities, and the trauma of war.

Published novels by K include the Civil War drama Blue Honor, the Second World War spy thriller OP-DEC:Operation Deceit, and the controversial science fiction/fantasy series The Trailokya Trilogy. In addition to writing novels, K enjoy’s the art of screenwriting and has worked on the screen spec 8 Days in Ireland, and the adaptations of her current novels. Currently, K has completed the Master of Arts in Liberal Studies program for Film Studies and Screenwriting at Empire State College (SUNY), and is the 2013-2014 recipient of the Foner Fellowship in Arts and Social Justice. In 2015, K. Williams became an official member of International Thriller Writers.

K continues to write on this blog weekly, producing commentary Mondays and Fridays on hot topics with some fun diversions for your work week. Whether it’s cooking, learning a foreign language, history or dogs, you’ll find something to enjoy and keep coming back for. Always a promoter of other artists, K uses Guest Blog Wednesdays to showcase artists from around the web and bring you interesting readings to expand your horizons. A sequel to her second novel, OP-DEC, is in the research phase, while the screen adaptation is being considered for production by film companies.

A devoted dog mom to Miss Sadie Sue Shagbottom, K is also a visual artist, producing the ZoDuck Cartoon, painting and sketching–digitally or traditionally, as well as an accomplished Photographer.