I feel it in my chest as my feet walk one by one. My heart is pounding in my chest. My breath is shallow. My feet stop. They are frozen in their tracks. I kick at the gravel. I want to move but I am terrified. There is no monster in front of me; but rather it is inside myself.

The monster inside my chest makes me shake involuntarily. My whole body shakes in fear. I want to run. My feet want to run but they cannot. I am frozen solid. I shake with fear. I look at my hands. Liquid appears out of my palm and it freezes. Ice develops around my finger tips and spreads to embrace my hands. They are completely frozen. My hands are engulfed in blocks of ice.

Ice spreads from my hands to my arms and to my torso. My rib cage is encased in ice. My entire body is fixed in one place. I am standing on a gravel filled dirt road staring straight forward into the sunset. The sun is setting and I cannot do anything but watch it. The darkness is upon me. I can do nothing but embrace it.

I embrace what is coming. I stare straight forward and see the shades of red, orange, purple and yellow melting in the distance. I can’t change it. I can’t move. So I watch. I am crying but the tears are frozen and stuck to my face. The sunset is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want to touch it. I want to be immersed in its beauty.

The tears are coming fast now. They come quickly and hard. There are so many tears. They stream down my face and melt the ice on my cheeks. They reach down my neck and my torso. I can feel it. The ice is melting. I begin to laugh. My laughter lifts my body up. I am floating in the air towards the orange sunset. I am free now. Free from the pain. Free from the stagnancy. Most of all, I am one with the rainbow.