Many of you have read the popular children’s book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie  which has such poignant lines as “if you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to ask for a glass of milk.” The story then unfolds and the mouse becomes more and more annoying and demanding.

My dear friend and Blogger Jessica Davis has created a parody of this classic children’s tale. It’s called: If You Give a Dad a Schedule.

I present you with: If You Give a Dad a Schedule

If you give a dad the schedule
He’ll throw it out the window
When he throws it out the window, he’ll ignore the basket of clean clothes that needs to be put away
When he ignores the basket of clean clothes that needs to be put away…
He’ll dress the kids in dirty clothes.
When he dresses the kids in dirty clothes, he’ll shrug and take them outside to play in the mud
When he takes them outside to play in the mud…
They’ll start eating the mud.
When the kids start eating the mud, he’ll realize he hasn’t fed them real food yet and they might develop PICA.
When he realizes he hasn’t fed them read food yet, and they may be developing PICA, he’ll bring them inside and give them a bath using only baby wipes.
When he gives them a “bath” using only baby wipes, he’ll miss half the mud and they’ll be dirty as hell.
When he misses half the mud, and the kids are dirty as hell, the kids will see the mud and demand chocolate pudding for breakfast.
But, since he threw the schedule out the window and he has no idea what to feed them for breakfast…
He’ll give them pudding for breakfast.
When he gives the kids pudding for breakfast, he’ll realize how useful the schedule was.

Jessica Davis lives in Ontario, Canada. She is a mother to two young boys, and lives with a rare chronic pain disorder called Multiple Hereditary Exostoses. She’s been writing online for
almost a decade. She blogs at The Fevered Pen. Follow her on Facebook here and most recently, an AUTHOR PAGE. You should follow all of the above for amazing life changing writings. Jessica is also extremely sarcastic, but nevertheless still wants you to follow her blog and Facebook pages. Hugs and kisses!