Warning: The following has nothing to do with motherhood. I’ve been receiving peculiar text messages from varying sources and needed to document them before my brain atrophied.
There’s something about my cell phone number that attracts random people that I’ve never met. I’ve determined, through the messages I’ve been receiving, that my phone number once belonged to a woman named Zenovia. This woman has led a very interesting life.
It started out innocently enough on New Years Day.
I got a text message that said: “Happy New Year Beautiful, to you and your family.”
I didn’t recognize the number, so I ignored it, thinking it was either a wrong number, or someone I’d lost touch with. But my curiosity got the best of me. Here’s how the text exchange went:
“Thanks! Who is this?”
“Now I’m offended Zena. You don’t remember me?”
“No, who is this?”
“Just a year ago you were licking my chest down in the park.”
I knew it was time to call this gentleman and set him straight. Poor guy. Here’s how the phone conversation went:
“Hi, this is Sarah, you’ve been texting Zena. You have the wrong number.”
A pregnant pause.
“Oh.”
Another pregnant pause.
“I’m sorry ma’am. Have a nice day.”
I thought I’d put the ghost of Zenovia to rest. But then a day or so later, I got another text message.
“Zena, snowstorms predicted in your area. Don’t drive in to work.”
It’s too bad she never got that message, I hope she didn’t take her car to work that day.
I called that number back. Apparently the person worked with Zenovia at NYU and was trying to give her a heads up about the weather.
After that text, the Zenovia messages calmed down. But a few days ago, I got another wrong text message:
“Call Corey and Joel regarding meeting.”
Needless to say, to my knowledge, Corey and Joel weren’t called. But I did text back saying:
“Wrong number! P.S. Sorry. Hope the meeting goes well!”
I’m not sure whether this message was intended for Zenovia or not.
Tell me, do you have a funny wrong number story?