sarahfader

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About Sarah Fader

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So far Sarah Fader has created 1430 blog entries.

Save Us

I tried to save us. Several times Maybe you didn't know or your hands were over your ears Perhaps you didn't want to hear me as we sat on that couch together listening to the therapist. I didn't want to hear you speak because I was so focused on telling you what my opinions were [...]

By | 2017-06-15T15:46:16+00:00 June 15th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Save Us

How to Talk to Your Child About Mental Illness

My children (who are nine and six) know that I have anxiety and depression. They don't know those words, but I explain them in a child-friendly way when I am experiencing symptoms of each of those mental health issues. When I am anxious, I tell the kids "Mommy is feeling nervous right now. She needs [...]

By | 2017-06-10T19:08:41+00:00 June 10th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on How to Talk to Your Child About Mental Illness

Be Better

Be Better I woke up this morning feeling a little bit better. My heart was still racing but I believe there is something to look forward to. No fuck that, I know there is something to look forward to. It lies within me. I am the master of my own destiny. I make the choices [...]

By | 2017-06-07T06:42:27+00:00 June 7th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Be Better

Out of the Cave and in to the Light

Cave I walk into the dark cavernous space holding my flashlight. I try to turn it on but the switch isn't working. It just keeps clicking and my feet start tapping nervously. He is lurking in the shadows of this space. I can hear the shore waves creeping up. The sand is wet outside and [...]

By | 2017-06-06T12:37:50+00:00 June 6th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Out of the Cave and in to the Light

You’ve Never Sat on My Couch

You came to New York on my birthday - 10/17 in 2004. It had to mean something. It had to be a sign. People come into your life for a reason and I miss you. I'll never stop loving you and my whole body feels like broken glass. I don't think you can ever forgive [...]

By | 2017-06-04T23:36:17+00:00 June 4th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on You’ve Never Sat on My Couch

Broken in Cycles

15 - laying on my couch, wishing I was dead. Thinking that he killed me with his words. I don't know if I love you anymore It wasn't him. It was me. I killed me because I didn't love myself. I was clinically depressed, not eating, sleeping too much, hormonal, waking up with panic attacks, every [...]

By | 2017-06-03T09:41:49+00:00 June 3rd, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Broken in Cycles

Mother’s Day Amazon Wish List Giving Time

Mother's Day is a holiday rife with pressure to do the "right thing" or get the "right gift. I am taking a cue from my friend Jenny Lawson, who created the idea of Booksgiving. In Booksgiving, people created Amazon Wish Lists that were public and the deal was that people sent strangers a book that [...]

By | 2017-05-15T19:54:12+00:00 May 13th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on Mother’s Day Amazon Wish List Giving Time

The Night

I used to look forward to the nighttime. When I was a teenager and first experienced panic attacks they were utterly exhausting. I'd wake up each day with my heart racing, sweating profusely, and scared to get out of bed. I did a lot of self-talk to get myself out of bed, but it was [...]

By | 2017-05-12T06:49:11+00:00 May 11th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on The Night