I need you to approve my life choices and tell me that I’m making the right decision. Can you please tell me that this is correct and will make everything better? I don’t know what I am doing and I need your reassurance so that I can make a decision. If you don’t tell me what to do, I can’t do anything. It’s true! I’m waiting for your feedback. I want you to be the one to show me which road to take. There’s 78 of them and they all look confusing. Relationships are confusing, whether they are labeled or not. It’s okay “not to know,” and to take things as they come, I know this, but I don’t have anything in my brain that allows me to make choices. I’m not good at it and I don’t know how to get that skillset. I’ve learned many skills but making choices has escaped me, like when you open the door and your dog runs outside without your consent.
So can you make this decision for me, please? I know you’re good at decisions and I’m sure this one will be easy for you. I’m telling you, I see a talent in you. You should put “decision-making” on your resume. If I were as good at making decisions as you are, I could open a decision-making business. When you’re good at something it’s good to own that. I know my talents and making choices isn’t one of them. Even when I’m at a restaurant, and I look at the menu, there are so many things on it I can’t pick what I want. I ask the waiter the specials and sometimes that works or I ask them what they like on the menu. That influences what I choose.
I’m asking you nicely to please tell me what I should do. I can’t figure it out, and I’ve been thinking about it for hours if not days. I cannot expend any more energy on choosing. You’re holding out on me and I know that you can do this. I know you can.
You’re telling me that I can?
Is that what you’re saying?
I know you believe that, but it isn’t how I feel.
What if I choose the wrong thing and it’s a terrible choice?
I know, I can’t predict what a “bad choice” is in advance. I know that but I also know that I want you to be proud of my choice. If I am able to decide this, I want to impress you with what I decide. I want your approval and your validation. Why? I need you to think I’m a wonderful grounded person who made an educated decision that amazes everyone in the world, especially the people I love. I need you to be excited about that. If you approve of what I decided, then I am sure it’s the best choice out there.
Are you not giving me your approval?
Okay, then I guess I’m on my own. I’m going to have to make this decision without you telling me that it’s the best one. I don’t need your approval anyway. If you’re not willing to give it freely, I’m not asking for it anymore. I can do this and I will come to the right answer for me. I’m going to show you that I can solve this puzzle myself. Even if you’re good at decisions, it doesn’t mean I can’t make them; I am going to do this for me. I will find my way, the right way, and my own path no matter how hard it is to decide.