I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up

//I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I’m already grown up and I still don’t know what I want to be. When I was a child I wanted to be a writer; that’s all I could think about. I had visions of signing books at bookstores and writing for a living. Little did I know that writing is not a lucrative career. I didn’t care about money when I was a child because I didn’t realize that you need to make money to survive.

My parents (being the hippies that they were) encouraged me to pursue what I was passionate about, which was writing. Writing is the only thing that I’ve ever been confident at and sometimes I think that I’m not even that great of a writer. No, I’m not fishing for compliments. But, I was 25 when I finally learned to use a semicolon correctly.
Growing up in New York City there were no classes in school to learn how to employ practical life skills like budgeting or finding a job. I wish they had had these things because I still don’t know how to do them. There were counselors within the school that were supposed to teach us about applying to colleges and careers and such things. But we never utilized those people because well, I don’t really know. I guess I saw the guidance counselor’s office is a place that you would talk something out if you got into trouble.
After I graduated from high school I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to be doing and it caused me a lot of anxiety. But I trusted in the fact that college would show me the way. Once again my parents encouraged me to pursue what I was passionate about, which was writing and a liberal arts education. Little did I know this would not lead me to a lucrative career. I was idealistic and I didn’t care about financial stability because that sounded boring. If I could see things in perspective I probably would’ve gotten a business degree even though I can’t stand business.
There is definitely a lack of guidance within the educational system, particularly with students with mental health issues. The other thing is maybe the things that I like to do just don’t make a lot of money and I need to accept this.
I’m sticking with writing because I enjoy it and it makes me happy. But I still need to figure out how to be an adult. From what I can understand most people are faking it so I think I’m doing pretty well.
And the truth is there’s no right way to be an adult. I don’t even know what the word adult means anymore. But I’m continually worried that I’m going to get in trouble for not being a good adult. My kids are lucky that they are kids they don’t have to deal with adult problems. One day they will but not today.
So, I’m doing my best to enjoy my life and I’m taking it one day at a time or since I’m a writer one word at a time.
By | 2017-11-28T23:46:53+00:00 November 28th, 2017|Uncategorized|Comments Off on I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up
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