I cried so hard that I could see. I wiped the tear festival from my eyes and took a deep breath in. I could feel the coolness of the artificial train air conditioning on my face solidifying my tears against my face. I briefly glanced out the window again only to see that it had become morning. I’d been crying for long that the next day had happened. There was a deep green path outside with no human beings anywhere. No telling where I was or where we were going.

Nothing I knew to be true was true. I didn’t even have a name. Julia was something I named myself because I’d forgotten everything about myself. I had no purse, no backpack, no ID. So here I was on this train headed to Nowhere. I’d lost myself and I could figure out how to get her back. All I could do is go.

It was time for me to find out who I was and I figured that Nowhere was just as good a place as any to do that. Plus there were no scheduled trains coming after the train to Nowhere.

“What are you reading?” I asked the elderly man next to me with a sniff. I had no tissues so I wiped the snot from my nose on my arm.

I wanted to understand why his newspaper was so old. It wasn’t even from this century.

His hat was black but covered with a subtle layer of dust.

He looked up from his newspaper, turned to me and locked eyes with me. His eyes were icy blue. His gaze disarmed me and yet I felt as if I couldn’t look away from him. He had frozen me and I was stuck in my seat looking into his eyes. They transfixed me to the point where I was unable to do anything but stare back and attempt to keep my breathing level.

After what seems like an eternity, the elderly man opened his pursed his lips and spoke:

“Put the past away.” He said all the while keeping his gaze up me.

The air got colder.

My soul felt lonelier.

And I knew that I would find my answers when I got to Nowhere.

nowhere train grass