Today I had a conversation with the remarkable Jordan Gray. I spoke candidly about my relationship history as well as processing the trauma I have been through. There are too many unhealthy relationship patterns to name, but let’s just say that I have the tendency to self-sabotage romantic relationships. In reality, I don’t want to do that. I would like to find my soulmate. I want to be with a partner who knows me inside and out. Just as importantly, I want to know my partner. I realized that part of me is terrified to have a man know me intimately. The reason is that there is the potential that he could hurt me. It’s scary to open yourself up to someone.
When I heard the words come out of my mouth I realized just how scared I was to be close to a man.
“When the right person comes along, I will reach inside of myself and give him that secret part of me. I don’t want to open that part up until he is available to me.”
“Why wait?” Jordan asked. “Why not open that part of yourself up now?”
Here’s the lesson: by opening that piece of myself up, it sends out a flare signal to my twin flame that I am out there.
I asked him: “How do I open that part of myself up?”
His answer was simple: doing the things that I love. All I have to do is be myself and continue living my life. The more I engage in activities that make me intrinsically happy, the more likely I will be to find the man of my dreams. I’m down with this plan, because I like engaging in activities that make me happy.
We also talked about owls, but that’s totally unrelated to this story.