I met a woman named Marilyn yesterday. She was a 78 year-old Aquarius and she changed my life.
I went to visit a good friend of mine. Marilyn was her neighbor. We sat in her apartment while she smoked a cigarette and listened to me cry.
I cried about how hard it is to be a sensitive person. I cried at the thought that my mother was the only person who truly ever loved me. She nurtured me from the time I was in utero and she continues to care for me. I told Marilyn that I have no doubt if it wasn’t for my incredible mother, I would not be here on this earth today. Tears streamed down my face.
I sat there, telling her about the hurt. How I want to be understood. How I want others to give me support, care, love and all the things I give to them.
Marilyn’s answer was simple. She took a drag of her cigarette and looked at me.
“You cannot love anyone until you love yourself and G-d.”
I stared into her deep eyes as she sat back in her arm chair. I could see the wisdom in her eyes penetrating.
“You have to lead with love.” She said.
“But I’m so angry.” I said “I’m so hurt. How can I love? I don’t have anything left to give.”
“That’s when you pray to G-d.” Marilyn said. “G-d is always there for you.”
I told her about my moods. I often snap at the people I love. Something sets me off, and I get angry and say hurtful things that I don’t mean.
“You must learn to breathe in that moment.” She said, her eyes transfixed on my eyes. She was with me steady. “You can learn to control your emotions if you ride the waves.”
I listened and I cried. I knew she was right.
“You are so blessed and so lucky to have a mother who loved you as much as your mother did. Be grateful for that.” Marilyn said.
I breathed. I breathed again.
I thanked Marilyn for her words and her kindness. She gave me two books to take home with me. I will read those books.
Reflecting upon my experience with Marilyn, I realized that we are all flawed. Every person on this planet has something they are struggling with. We all have our challenges. I am an incredibly sensitive person. I finally recognize that my sensitivity is not a detriment to my life. It is a gift. It needs to be nurtured, respected and honed.