Samara is two and a half-ish and she has developed this delightful habit of screaming when she doesn’t get what she wants. I know (in my mind) that it’s a phase. She won’t be screaming for the rest of her life.  I don’t reinforce the screaming by giving her what she wants when she’s shattering the glass windows in my apartment with her screeching. But still, I’m starting to lose whatever sanity I might have had left.

I’m so tired of the screaming. It makes me cranky.

Every time she screams I say “Please stop screaming and tell me what you want.”

This tends to get her to stop for a minute, but then five minutes later something else pisses her off and she’s screaming again.

I mean, I know it’s hard to be two. I get it. You have limited control over what you wear or what your day’s activities are going consist of, but can you please do me a favor and stop screaming about it?

For example, if Ari took your dollhouse away, just say “Hey Mommy! Ari took my dollhouse!” You don’t need to scream so loud that my ears feel like someone shot an arrow through them.

Perhaps you object to whatever I served you for lunch. Instead of deafening me and showing me your bright pink tonsils, you could try saying “I don’t want to eat that.”

Maybe you don’t want to wear that green shirt. That’s cool. All you need to do is say “I want to wear my pink shirt.” There’s really no need to act as if zombies are about to eat our brains, the house is burning down and I told you that you can never have a cupcake again in your entire life.

In summation, just tell me what it is you want and stop scaring the shit out of me.

Thank you.