10 Reasons Why My Period Can Go Fuck Itself

//10 Reasons Why My Period Can Go Fuck Itself

10 Reasons Why My Period Can Go Fuck Itself

I have my period right now, and I hate it. I’ve hated it since the moment I first got it at 12 years-old. I’m still in denial about it. Every time it ends, I feel like it’s the last time I’ll ever see it again. But yet, like an unwelcome ex-boyfriend, it keeps making a regular appearance every month for the past 20 years, minus the two years I was pregnant where it was absent,
thank G-d!
Without further ado, I bring you 10 reasons why my period can go fuck itself.
10. Going anywhere or doing anything seems impossible.
9. I can’t zip my jeans.
8. No matter what I do, I have stains on my underwear and potentially my pants, so it looks like I pooped on myself.
7. I look pregnant even though I’m clearly not, hello! I have my period!
6. Whenever anyone says anything to me I want to tell them to fuck off and die.
period
 
5. Period products are bullshit. Maxi pads feel like adult diapers, tampons are uncomfortable and leak, and I end up losing the reusable products in the chaos that is my apartment.
I have my period, where the hell is that thing that I paid 20 dollars for that is supposed to save me money?
 
4. I want to sleep all day, but I can’t!
3. I want to eat everything all the time, and I do! Then I feel like a hot air balloon.
2. I can’t have sex, which (as we all know) solves most problems in life.
And the number one reason that I hate my period is…
1. It makes me feel totally and utterly insane.
This has been a public service announcement from your mom.
By | 2014-04-16T07:03:34+00:00 April 15th, 2012|Uncategorized|5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Caitlin April 16, 2014 at 1:04 pm
  2. Lea February 28, 2015 at 10:21 pm

    Somehow it comforts me that when I want to kill everything because I’m on the rag, somewhere out there, you’re on the EXACT SAME SCHEDULE.

  3. Nicole Lyons February 28, 2015 at 10:25 pm

    This is my new favorite thing, EVER!

  4. LeEgg May 8, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    tbh ( i know some people will think im unfair ), but i think women should have a day or two during their period off work or school, to be used whatever day within that period week. I mean some girls vomit and literally can’t function, and face intense nausea, back, and uterine pain. Idk about you but i can’t concentrate in school when my uturus is re-enacting shark week. And i dont appreciate having to finish something by the same deadline as everyone else, when i spent a day writhing in pain, unable to function, losing so much blood i can get dizzy and cant think. For school you should be able to take also a day or two off, and then be able to hand whatever you need to hand in, on a later deadline. Im sick of going to school constantly checking my pants for leakage and not being able to wipe it off. and what happens when your blood soaks through your pad? I cant think when im in pain.

  5. Booger August 12, 2015 at 9:33 pm

    You can absolutely have sex on your period.

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