Yesterday I had the most amazing acupuncture session. I was totally relaxed. Then I came home. My mom was watching the kids.

I was home for five minutes, and Ari started scratching his butt crack. I told him to go to the bathroom and wash his hands. This is something he’s totally capable of doing by himself and
has done many times before.
Off he went.
He was taking a suspiciously long time in the bathroom. So I called out to him:
“What are you doing in there?!”
He ran out of the bathroom at warp speed and met me and my mom in the living room. He was covered all over his body in a shiny liquid.
“What do you have on your body?” I asked, afraid for the answer.
“SOAP!” He exclaimed.
Apparently, he used the anti-bacterial hand soap everywhere but his hands, go figure. Then, he touched his eyes and began to scream. It’s totally understandable since that stuff burns. So, I rushed him to the bathroom and irrigated his eyes with water for a million years. He was wailing the whole time, poor guy! My mom stayed with Samara while this was all going on.
Then I made a quick call to poison control to make sure I did the right thing. I did, thank the anti-bacterial deities.
“Ari,” I said when the whole ordeal was over. “You don’t use this soap for your body, okay. Only on your hands. You understand?”
“Yeah,” he said mid tear.
Needless to say, he is germ-free today.