There is so much estrogen in the blogosphere, I was beginning to get a little cranky reading all these mom blogs. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the ladies, but I needed a change. Keep in mind that I am exceedingly pregnant and therefore need someone to make me laugh before I cry…or stab someone. But I digress. I found that laugh in my dear dad blogger friend, Why is Daddy Crying. He’s hilarious, real and he’s here to tell us the down low about being a dad. Are you ready for him? Here he is, Why is Daddy Crying!
I was pretty hardcore about hiding my name because I was worried about my professional career. Then I got laid off. Then I got hired again. And now…well, I’m a bit less paranoid. So, I’m comfortable enough now to tell you that I share the same first name as the man behind Bon Iver. And unfortunately I also share the same first name with some talentless musical douche whose last name rhymes with “beaver.”
The 2002 in my blog title is actually the year my first born slid into the world kicking, screaming and peeing on everything that came into view. Thus, the tears. I’ve always enjoyed writing and even minored in it in college, primarily to avoid doing any math. I’ve always been a fan of reading some people’s blogs, I just never got up the nerve to do one of my own primarily because I thought, “who the hell wants to read what I write?
Finally, I asked the wife if I could wear my testicles for a bit, she said yes, I put them on, got up enough nerve, and there you have it – the blog was born. As for the name of the blog…I drank some beers, chased them with a glass of wine, and the name Why Is Daddy Crying popped in my head…the rest has been one hell of a ride. Have you seen my good friend JC Little’s animation based on my blog? This professional animation guru of a lady took a stab at trying to answer that question.
Here’s animation short #1 she created which perfectly captures my fam.
And here’s animation short #2 which nails the exact reason why I’m crying.
Holy mother of all things holy do I HATE snuggies!!!Honestly, I cry because the insanity of family life brings the tears to the eyes, has you biting your lower lip, and often drops you to your knees begging for forgiveness…but what really makes the tears drop from the eyelids and drench my cheeks is my absolute love for those little bastards and my wife.
OK, real honestly? It’s the insanity of family life!
3. Tell us about your kids!
Grayson…the 7 (soon to be 8 in a few weeks)-year-old who’s red hair is fair warning that you better grab your shit and beat-feet the hell outta dodge. He’s a tornado…a brilliant, brilliant, lively tornado.
You’ll be two seconds from wanting to waterboard him, and at the drop of a one-liner, or glimpse of a smile you’ll be holding him with all the love in your heart hoping you’re giving him all the best you can possibly give.
He’s got all my worst qualities, which kills me. But I smile because he’s gotten the best qualities of the wife which makes him a rock star.
The daughter? Well, grab my wife, toss her in some twenty-second-century shrink ray, and BAM!!! you’ve got my daughter. In a nutshell, the first thing she does when she gets home is put her jammies on. She’s funny as hell. Her one-liners motivate a very rare belly-laugh from me. And she’s absolutely knock-out gorgeous. If you are reading this, have a penis, and get within 100 yards of my daughter between now and the time she’s 30, I’ll be forced to have you meet my rusty pair of pliers I carry with me religiously.
My daughter and my son are my heart and my life.
4. Tell us about your wifey!
Well, if my kids are my heart and life…my wife is my soul. We’re high school sweethearts who went to separate colleges, yet continued dating seeing each other about every 6 weeks. Graduated, moved-in together, married the next year in 1997, shot out the first kid in 2002, dropped the next in 2004 – six days shy of them being exactly two years apart.
She’s patient, hard-willed, sexy as hell, beautiful, ball-busting, and the greatest mom I’d ever ask my kids to have. She’s put up with way more than any wife should ever have to.
The only way to sum it all up is that she deserves better, but I thank whoever will listen that I get to spend this life with her.
5. What’s the most awesome thing that’s happened to you because of blogging?
The continued growth of my readership…people visiting my blog has just blown me away. I love the comments people leave on my blog. Sometimes I wish I could just blog one word, just so I can read people’s comments the rest of the day. So, it’s definitely the people I’m meeting.
But, if I had to pick one of the best it would be JC Little of Little Animation coming out of the woodwork, motivated by my blog, and putting together that incredible animated short.
6. What advice would you give to new dads out there?
Don’t do it!!!!! Put the dick away!!! I don’t know that I have any advice for new dads cause everyone’s ride in fatherhood is completely different.
You’ll laugh, cry, feel like you’re slamming your head in a door for hours, wish a stampede of giraffes would put you out of your misery, and spend hours telling complete strangers how your kid shit all over you at 3:15 a.m.
But it’s the best job in the world and you’ll hopefully love every second.
7. What astrological sign are you and how are you like your sign?
My astrological sign is Cancer with the symbol being the crab…and I sure as shit hope I never get either. I like to think I’m more like the symbol the crab. If you un-earth me I’ll be all hyper running sideways doing 50 different things at once while watching every step you make, ultimately praying you don’t shove me in a pot of boiling water. And, I’m a bit of a freak-show like the crab because I’ve got massive Dumbo ears, an award-winning gap in between my two front teeth, and I’m often seen moonwalking to the grocery. My personality is crabby only when you fuck with me too much, or you lie about me or my family. Other than that…I’m a freakin’ delight!
To hear more from Why is Daddy Crying, click here!