I pretended I was okay this morning when Ari woke me up at 7:15am and I had to be out the door by 7:30am, but obviously I wasn’t alright. I was a walking disaster. I called my dad and pleaded with him to get Ari and take him downstairs so I could throw some pants on and run out the door to work. I know that a complete outfit includes more than pants, but all I could think about was putting my pants on. My dad refused to come upstairs, saying that it was “my fault” that I over slept. But Ari overslept! He was the one who woke up at 7:15am. Maybe I shouldn’t be relying on my son as an alarm clock, but I can’t possibly imagine using a real alarm clock. It just seems too horrible to listen to a loud obnoxious buzzing sound in the morning.

Sometimes I just want some help, some understanding for all that I do. I’m not okay today, not remotely. I asked my friend and fellow sub for a hug.
She was rubbing my back and then she said:
“Okay, I’m going let you go now…” Clearly I am starved for care. I want someone to mother ME! I’m doing all the mothering and I feel entirely exhausted.

Can someone please rub my back, play with my hair and tell me that everything is going to be okay?

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